Once a Murderer, Always a Murderer

Is it Wrong?

2011-11-23T06:47:00.000-08:00

That I'm seriously irritated by the apathy which surrounds me?

The funny thing is, it's not even my own apathy (which is usually the case in abundance) but of people I consider important in my life.

I haven't bothered to tell but a few that I'm leaving. Only those who have taken the time to actually stay in touch or return my calls. It's funny that in all I have going on, virtually no one (save one or two rather impressive individuals) have bothered to even ask how I'm doing. That's okay. We all have lives. It's just a question of whether you wish make the effort to be included in someone else's. I'm just as guilty of this, and it's a selfish and equally guilty desire that people should rally around me as my life seems to be cruising in the turbulent lane - the one with the shredded tire, crashed Subaru and lost paint cans.

Still, this has prompted me to make a short list (a very short list) of people to see before I go. I haven't much time left.

Everyone else will figure it out. Eventually.

I'm sure this is a hypocritical entry, and I'm likely the worst kind of friend. I try not to be. I try. Perhaps we reap what we sow, right? Anyway this is just a random vent.

Pay it no heed.

Languidly Disconsolate

2011-11-18T22:17:00.001-08:00

I feel like I'm going fucking insane. Seriously.

Life has been shit for a while now.

I keep checking my phone like it has answers. Like it will somehow provide a satisfying escape but instead just find myself checking my email or facebook for the umpteenth time.

And on the wings of a funeral I get a call that will change everything. I was nervous with anticipation but now am just pretending it's not happening.

And sure, I'm scared. It's a good opportunity, isn't it? Isn't it? I say that with hesitation. Because everything about this future I'm embracing seems wrong.

Everything except the price tag.

A Bevy of Ramblings

2011-10-14T12:43:00.000-07:00

I'm unsure what to rant about today. I feel like in keeping with my new focus on writing, and therefore blogging, I want to at least contribute a wee bit to this blog. Two entries in the span of week seems unheard of after a year of silence.

So let's break the silence.

Where am I at today? In life? Well that's a frustrating answer. So I'm not going to dwell on it, because I would be digressing into the same rants I have about the same issues I always have on the same topic of how I always do the same things the same way and never make the same changes I need to make.

By which I mean, I need to stop running in every direction and find a focus. This will lead to doing those projects and things I find enjoyable, and that in turn may lead to satisfaction in a career when I excel at it. I should note that as arrogant as it might sound, I do feel capable of excellence. I also feel I run from one thing to the next without ever investing the time I should into something to make excellence.

If you look at the previous entry, it ought to be apparent that I moving in that direction, or at least am striving to. You might suspect I'm giving up on costuming, but I'm not. No, giving up is not the term. I'm letting slip away into the dark oblivion because it's not the focus I want it to be. It's neither fulfilling enough or motivating enough to put up with the downsides. And under that scrutiny it's simply a time sink instead of an asset.

All my life I have wanted to do everything. I have wanted to be everything. This is great in terms of exploration and the assimilation of new ideas and experiences. But it's also the whim of a child. It is impossible for us to be everything, and if let yourself by pulled in every direction by every torrent, you'll end up in pieces with little to show for it.

This metaphor does a disservice, however, because I think the truly interesting people I know are the ones who continually explore in life. I'm not advocating that one shouldn't indulge their hobbies, their interests and their thirst for continued growth and knowledge. Far from it. In fact, I have noticed this in my adventures estate sale-ing, which a few friends and I embark on many a Saturday morning. Not like a typical garage sale, you are usually invited to explore the house of the recently deceased, exploring their belongings and their home, making offers on things you find. Many people go for the useful items, but I can tell you I bring home only the most unique and bizarre. I can get a cake pan from anyplace, and I don't need some dead person's to bake a cake in. But a 1970's nut-cracking gun or a shot-glass set that lives in a wooden medieval tower are things you just can't find on a regular basis. They're unique, odd and capture my imagination. But the best part of estate sale-ing is always the story of the deceased. Their home tells you so much about them, whether they were an amateur surgeon with a closet-alcoholic wife, or someone far too fixated on black glass (both things we've encountered), you learn so much about another person. The saddest one we went to was someone whose entire life - books, music, decor - all was single-mindedly focused on the LDS church. It was depressing. There is so much to life, that to limit your views and enjoyment only to a single narrow stretch of thought was really sort of sad. To me, it spoke of a life wasted. Compare that to another home in which the couple clearly latched onto anything that took their fancy. Shelves full of books on how-to subjects across the board. Each room was a new discovery - photography, sewing, spinning one's own wool, filmmaking, painting, gardening, or design. Clearly they never stopped enjoying all that was available in the world. I love that. I want to be that.

My point here is that I just feel a need to put some constraints and limits how much I take on, and how much energy I devote to those things. Prioritize, is the simplest way to put that. I need to prioritize my life.

To further develop this idea, are the people you surround yourself with. I can honestly think of only a very few rare ones who both inspire me and make me want to push myself further. And I am ultimately grateful for such beings in my life. They show me how to live, how sculpt a healthy existence and how to find grains of unique perspective and madness. I often tout works that inspire me, but there is no replacement for the people who do so.

I am lucky.

This said, I can't allow people to become crutches. It's not you- it's me. I feel like placing stock or reliance in others is an unrealistic solution to solving the problems one has with their own development. We all know people who do this, and perhaps we are all guilty of it. One needs to move forward, don't they? And I intend to push myself with renewed focus, and to surround myself with those who help me to rethink the paths I'm on, to question and provide counterpoint to my assessments on life, and are good aids in self-actualization. Does that sound selfish? Alas. I'm never satisfied with my progress as a human being. There's always more to do, ways to be better, develop, and grow. Shouldn't a life well-lived intrinsically surround itself with decor that capitalizes upon that?

Salutations to the Champion

2011-10-11T15:15:00.000-07:00

First: I know I haven't blogged in like a year. Which is sorta depressing as it becomes ever increasingly true that I need to write more. Not just on a sad, every-so-often basis, but as a basic need, required like sleeping and breathing. And eating. Let's not forget eating. Or drinking. I could use a drink right now.

Because, anymore, writing is the only door I can see that leads out of this dank well I sit it, waterlogged, and irritated. Other creative endeavors continue to remind me that instead of a free and exhilarating path, they are little more than road blockades. The biggest of these I've found in the collaborative arts are (naturally) the people. I suppose that's to be expected with the whole "collaborative" thing - and yet, for every positive experience it seems there are 4-5 poor experiences filled with douchu-bagus who drive you fucking crazy. I'm sure it's because they have a vision, are a true artist or were molested when they were young. Regardless, I'm tired of this bullshit in which I have no real creative say and start to feel more trapped than liberated by the art. And the drama. It's theater and costuming, or work, or whatever. But it's all drama, really. That's the part I can't stand. A bunch of self styled artists coming together to nurse their insecurities and stroke their egos. Isn't that just all part of the process? Part of the "art?"

Art. Ha.

Anyway, this leads to the premise that I need to limit that sort of unfulfilling existence and try to limit myself to things that are within my control and are satisfying for me. Like writing. Whether it's my novels, my blogs, or my screenplays, it's nice to be able to do something for myself, instead of pretending I'm a designer for a production which is just a pantomime in trying to allow the director to design everything themselves.

Assholes.

Right. So, anyway, the 1920's Murder Mystery is out of the way (I really ought to post on that) and while it was enjoyable and fulfilling, it was also a helluva lotta work and I'm over doing any of that right now. Once I finish Adding Maching for the The Babcock, I will officially be retiring from costuming, and c'est la vie, right? It's all good and I don't mind leaving it behind. Because while I enjoy costuming, I don't love it it like the poor, overworked, underpaid and under-appreciated mentors I have been privy to watch. It's time to turn to other interests. Where my ideas and opinions have a place. Where they matter. Which stems back to writing. Writing in a digital age. Where words and images are insanely cheap.

I guess I'll never be wealthy.

When I started this blog entry I half though this was going to be a review of Dragon Age II, for no real reason since I don't generally give reviews and usually not of video games. So why I felt compelled I do not know, but I do (oddly) feel it is important to explain my feelings on this game since it sorta left me sad and empty when it ended. Like Arkham Asylum. And also it's been sending me winding back towards my guilty (or not so) pleasure of the Fantasy genre, in reading, writing, and imagining.

Yes. I'm rambling.

And I'm writing a blog in the same manner Tim writes letters from the mission.

Hmm. Well, I'll send out the rest of these thoughts later, perhaps picking up more on the writing, the mystery, the death of my lackluster costuming career and video games. But in the meantime, it's a good day and it feels better now that I finally threw some words out. More to come. Def.

Giant Robot NaNoWriMo vs. Me

2010-11-14T21:02:00.000-08:00

I admit it. The last thing I want to do is write blog entries while I'm in the midst of writing 50,000 words for a novel by the end of November. So this won't be long.

However.

As I've sat down and forced myself to write consciously about 1700 words a day, I've found myself desperately craving stories. It's not so much for inspiration, at least not in the material but perhaps in the techniques of storytelling. How to keep in interesting, what what. It's just that all this creativity is flowing out of me in a concentrated amount this month and one of the odd side effects is to fill myself with all sorts of other media. Books, television, movies, graphic novels, and so on.

Perhaps the most interesting, and the one I have been suckered into most heavily? Anime. Now I know you're probably judging me, but I don't care. I used to watch a fair amount - staples like Trigun or Oh! My Goddess, or Miyazaki films.

This interest has unfolded again, in the form of Claymore. It's perhaps a bit expository heavy (which is exactly what my own novel has been doing from day one) but that's forgivable because the drama and the execution are fantastic. Ultra-violent, but fascinating and enjoyable.

Anyway, I just wanted to make a note. And tell anyone who is interested I intend to have a Trigun night (day?) soon. Be warned, and come join in the fun.

Fixed it!

2010-11-14T20:36:00.001-08:00

Fast update: I fixed the youtube link in the previous post so watch it and then tell me what you think. Haunting? Creepy? Awesome, right?

Atmospheric and Awesome

2010-11-04T16:21:00.000-07:00

My brother sent me this video and I can't help but say I love it. These places have such atmosphere, I'm really rather depressed I won't get to see this before it's demolished. I need to start seeking abandoned buildings and complexes out more frequently, since we have no love for them in this country.

Dammit all.

2010-09-19T18:39:00.000-07:00

Is there nothing Hollywood won't bastardize?

No! is the resounding answer.

So apparently they're making a movie of On the Road.

I had no idea, but let me state here and now, it won't do justice. It can't possibly do justice, and I'm not even remotely interested in seeing it.

Especially with the "talent" acquired to spin this yarn. Look it up. Or don't. That's probably better anyway.

The Night

2010-09-19T16:39:00.001-07:00

"Ah, it was a fine night, a warm night, a wine-drinking night, a moony night, and a night to hug your girl and talk and spit and be heavengoing."

These quotes are almost certainly more for me than for you, although I hope there's some cross-application. But moments, words, strike me, sink deep and I must put them down lest they flutter away forever into the empty darkness of my mind.

Blurred Landscapes

2010-09-19T14:55:00.001-07:00

"It was embarrassing. Every single one of us was blushing. This is the story of America. Everybody's doing what they think they're supposed to do."

Views from the Road

2010-09-19T13:06:00.000-07:00

"Dean and I are embarked on a tremendous season together. We're trying to communicate with absolute honesty and absolute completeness everything on our minds."

On the Road by Jack Kerouac

This quote resonated deeply with me this week, particularly after that last post. I cleave to the idea that the communication of souls, cross-legged and staring perhaps, is possible. As such, I felt I would post it here, a lone column, a solitary ruin of my own desired temple of learned experience. Or perhaps, more optimistically, it is a way-stone, a marker beckoning one to throw down the map and explore.

I suppose the choice is, as always, ours.

Maudlin

2010-09-17T11:56:00.000-07:00

Today is bringing with it a crisis of feelings. I don't really need to bore you with all the details and dilemmas of my post-collegiate existence, but suffice it to say, I haven't really contributed much to either my own enrichment or society at large. I wanted to take it easy after school for a couple months but all I've been successful at so far is stagnation.

So... today's question, as I've paced around the room drinking my french pressed coffee (made only on indulgent days, which are alarmingly more frequent) is how I can start merging the experiences I'd like to have with the existence I currently am gripped by. At the moment they seem extremely far apart.

I'll tell you what I'm going to start with. Re-reading some Kerouac. We cleaned out some boxes yesterday and I found the copy I gave to Will years ago. Only a few days earlier I was thinking I might need to glance through the tome again, in hopes of rewarding myself with some much needed passion and madness. The universe might be telling me something by thrusting the book in front of me.

The things I hope to embrace in my life - the accomplishment, the experiences and adventures certainly don't favor the docile and unfortunately, that is exactly what I am right now. Docile with a complete lack of tenacity. Perhaps the most frightening thing about all of this is how boring of a person I feel I'm becoming. Rather, how boring I am allowing myself to become.

This does not bode well.

I feel like I've slowed my intake of art and culture, given up on intellectualism of any kind. The only breather I take from such dulling is when surrounded by my friends, who are infinitely more creative, complex, insightful and enjoyable than I deserve to have. Why can't I take their influences as catalysts? Why do I move at such a snail's pace?

Okay, this is the very definition of maudlin. And isn't a blog supposed to airy, light and fun? Apologies will be handed out (much like my High School diploma) at the concession stand after the service.

UP NEXT: Something more light and fun. Maybe with a dash of cuteness. Kittens perhaps? We'll see what a google search reveals:

Yes, a stuffed turtle in ugly colors that projects a fake nighttime sky on your ceiling in various shades of illumination. Perhaps I should've been a little more specific that I wasn't looking for an actual light, so here's a second option:

Admittedly I went with this only because I like snow leopards. They're pretty much my favorite animal. Also, should you ever bring them up in my presence I will inform you that they can jump 40 feet from a standing position. 40 #*$%ing feet! Anyway, here's a snow leopard cub. It's cute, it has light colored fur, but it's probably only fun if you're not being viciously attacked by it's defensive mother. I wonder how many random girls that sentence might also describe?

Now that I've made pseudo-good on my posting promises, I do hope your day is filled with projected stars and dangerous endangered animals.

Caulk Your Wagons...

2010-08-12T10:11:00.000-07:00

I know people are worried about all the raping of their childhood memories (stay tuned for... The Smurfs), but this... Can we say awesome?

There is Only War

2010-08-10T00:26:00.001-07:00

So... A small group of friends decided to give Dark Heresy a try. For
those who probably don't know, DH is a tabletop rpg set in the dark
and grim future of the 41st millenium.
It was everyone's first pen and paper style rpg and I was pseudo-
nominated as the GM. Overall I'd say it was a shit-ton of work to prep
for (since the players ran amok causing all sorts of problems and
situations for me to respond too) bu that's also because I had to
comprehend the rules as much as possible. And in the end (a good five
hours later) we more or less understand how to get through a game.
And I have to say, while I was hesitant and a bit nervous about my
exacting role within the scenario, it turned out to be a great deal of
fun. The players fell into their parts and some (Ishmael) created
havoc everwhere they went... Nearly blowing up other characters or
collapsing mine shafts for no apparent purpose. In the end he got his
own, mutated by chaotic power and gunned down by two other players. It
was highly entertaining.

In fact I was surprised how fun it was despite the stop-and-go nature
of our first attempt. But it was successful nevertheless and I hope
everyone else liked it as much as I did. Because I'm hoping for many
more campaigns in the future... Which for the record is filled with
war and only war. And heretics. Maybe some Xenos here and there.
But those all lead to war anyway. So... war.

Addendum: I also wanted to add that the creatures, the players and the sad lost soul known as "Rat" were all represented on our map by sprinkles in the shapes of dinosaurs and people. It was kinda awesome.

Dark Ambience

2010-08-02T22:36:00.000-07:00

So... I know this has nothing to do with anything, but in my search for interesting music of a atmospheric and dark nature, I stumbled upon this man. He mostly composes and licenses for films, doesn't look as though he releases any kind of albums or tracks. Still, the languid feel of this music and imagery really took me for a ride. So I figured I'd share the wealth. And if you're looking for some interesting ambient music for your feature, take a look.

Dark Ambient Space Music: Through The Ergosphere: Film Composer Simon Wilkinson from Simon Wilkinson on Vimeo.

Excitement is Coming...

2010-07-06T09:00:00.001-07:00

Let's be honest, this doesn't show you anything, but it does makes me seriously excited. Julie, this is probably mostly for you. :)

Winter Is Coming

Costuming the Carmelites

2010-07-05T22:43:00.000-07:00

A few quick pics from Dialogues of the Carmelites. It was actually a really enjoyable (if at times incredibly stressful) show to do. Such are the breaks when you're working on an immense show, double cast, with absolutely no support, help and a miniscule budget. Despite all that, I feel it turned out rather well. But as promised, here's a quick photographic journey through this depressing (as evidenced by the all the ominous guillotine shots) show. Enjoy.

Another Open Letter

2010-07-03T09:18:00.000-07:00

Dear George R.R. Martin-

I appreciate that you have created an extremely successful franchise in A Song of Fire and Ice. I appreciate that it is now on its way to HBO syndication and that it has inspired graphic novels, board games, card games, figures, armor and so much more. I really do. I love these books, and rightly so. They are a fantastic read. But I would greatly appreciate it if you would stop writing other random collaborations, cease reveling in the glory of your creations (now you can buy a reproduction of your favorite character's weapon!) and take some time to perhaps finish the series. Seriously. I started reading these books in 1998. 1998! In all that time there's only been four of them, and I'm starting to be concerned that if you continue at your current pace you'll either end up:

A) Like Robert Jordan (as an example; I don't care for his books) with some "hot new author" finishing out your series because you're dead.

or

B) With an HBO series that dies off because no end to the story has been written. Even if they were successful enough to flesh out the current plan of one book per season, that's seven seasons (a lot to hope for) and frankly that leaves you with only seven years to finish three books. Your current model for publishing won't support that and I'm slightly dubious since your website continues to purport that you'll have it done any time now... dated 2008.

The other option is that you'll outlive me and I'll be dead before I ever have a satisfying conclusion to this series.

Mr. Martin, take this as a compliment about your writing - its among the best stuff I've read. And I know that quality takes time. But throw your loyal readers a bone, if you would. It's been a feast of crows for all your readers for far too long.

Sincerely,
P-yo

New Bad Movie Blog!

2010-06-18T15:22:00.001-07:00

Friends and Lovers, I have just started a new blog covering one of my
greatest loves, terrible movies. While it only has a few reviews, I
intend to grow it into an epicenter of movies to never watch.

Check it out, follow me, and revel in Cinematic Casualty.

http://cinematiccasualty.blogspot.com/

Also, there's far too many movies and too little time; I will welcome
submissions and suggestions for movies.

Enjoy!

Talisman Rising (3-Dimensionally!)

2010-06-02T15:05:00.000-07:00

I suppose I ought to throw a little info in here. I am currently working on a 3d board for one of my all time favorite board games. Graciously, Capree has offered to be my project-cohort in crime, and together we will create an epic playing field! The board's dimensions are roughly twice that of the original board, equivalent to roughly 4' x 6'. Built from mdf, insulation foam, and all sorts of love, I am super pumped about this.

It's already led to some highly enjoyable learning experiences: how to get 4'x8' foam home on the top of your subaru... not to mention why laughing while cutting foam with a hot wire cutter isn't the best idea. Repairs necessary.

More to come.

A Day in the Life

2010-05-19T09:54:00.000-07:00

Let's see...

Today consists of the usual:

Wake up far too early after staying up until 2:00 a.m. waiting for my husband who is MIA. (Ha ha, actually he was stuck at an accident turned block party, where no one could get through so they all hung out in the middle of the street).

Start coffee maker.

Talk to the roomie about how, now that he has a computer, he can troll the internet for cheap and easy women. Which, for the record is fine by me, since I was tired of him leaving a history trail of lesbian porn sites on our computer.

Listening to Little Big Planet music while writing a blog. This is not so unusual. Actually, I listen to a rather bizarre and eclectic mix of things, from some VERY selective current music, to electronica/trance to mostly soundtracks. Game soundtracks I particularly enjoy, but I do love my movie soundtracks too. Occasionally I like to throw in some 1930's old timey-whimey stuff. Yeah, I'm not usually asked to choose the party music, since people that see my iPod usually give me a "WTF, mate?"

Go total my car. If this totals, it will be my second car I've totaled. From accidents. Although only once was from me. This time it was all that crazy girl's fault. I suppose it's not a very interesting way to kill a car. Not like my brother Colin, who takes the Euro-van off-roading and breaks the front axel. Now that's a way to go.

Buy wine-keys for work. I get to teach a class on wine (who'd have thunk? Certainly not Teacher's Quorum President Me) to the employees, and give everyone new wine keys. I have to go pick them out from the restaurant supply, and am under strict instructions that I will not buy a bunch of random stuff for my house and charge it to Mac Grill. Damn.

Go to work. Serve people 1800 calorie bread while they talk about how they're watching their weight and will just have the salad, along with two more loaves of bread. Hmm.

Come home, have a drink and maybe get some, and go to bed. Yep, this is my exciting life.

But believe me, it's nothing compared to a day in the life of Thu Tran, host of Food Party on the Independent Film Channel. This is a show I simply cannot describe. You have to watch it for yourself and that's all I can say. Here's a delightful clip, for your mind-blowing pleasure. Oddly enough, this clip makes the show appear far more tame than it actually is. But maybe we'll ease you in, nice and slow.

Guess Who's Back?

2010-05-12T06:56:00.000-07:00

My life has freed up, a bit. And thus, I will present, for your viewing pleasure, some images from the first production I worked on this last year. I will post the Opera images shortly after this.

Time and the Conways - A play that takes place both in 1919 and in 1938, watching the progression of a British family over these years. There are two notes I have about this show. 1) I can't stand the set color. It's a bit outta control. 2) The styles of women's dress in general during 1919 were the most bizarre collection of things you can imagine. It was right after the war, smack dab between Edwardian and the Roaring Twenties, and no definite style had been set. These dresses I designed are all accurate pieces that both fit the characters, and would fall into this year, but believe me when I tell you the range of this year is incredible. Most of my budget went to these dresses because we had to build all of them. It is not an easily stocked era. Also, many of these photos are from dress rehearsal, so the looks are not completely perfect (i.e. steamed, or wrong undergarments, etc). Still, enjoy.

1919 - Kay (the dreamer)

1919 - Joan ("such a foolish girl")

1919 - Hazel ("the pretty one")

1919 - Mrs. Conway ("I love all my children, even the silly ones")

1919 - Madge (a most unfortunate name)

1938 Hazel (in my favorite dress of the show) and Alan, the sad home-body brother.

1938 - Kay the Journalist, Robin the alcoholic schemer (in a gorgeous, actual vintage late 30's suit), and poor depressed Joan.

1938 - Madge, bitter girl's school matron

1938 - Mrs. Conway in, as the actress called it, her "Edwardian Snuggie." The script mentions that Mrs. C is still wearing Edwardian period clothes, which is funny since she's wearing clothing from an earlier period than when the play starts. Ah well. This balanced nicely with the color scheme though.

And there's some highlights for you kids. Enjoy!

The Nuns are Dead.

2010-04-27T08:07:00.001-07:00

This means I may actually have a life again. In fact, too much of a life as school is just about over as well. I'll be graduated and... then what?

Absence makes the heart...

2010-04-16T22:59:00.000-07:00

Dear Blog-ur-bators,

I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while, but suddenly the opera I'm costuming is upon me and until it relinquishes its hold like a nun to the guillotine, I won't have much to say here. I do have pictures from the last play I costumed, finally, and those will be showcased on here shortly. Be patient.

Miss and love you all, I'm sure.

Petey

Definitely NOT a Scam

2010-04-06T08:01:00.000-07:00

I got this via Facebook back in January and have wanted to post it for a while now, to share with you how my fortune has changed. I have to point out that I'm super lucky to be the first random U.S.-born person Mr. Dabrah looked up on Facebook for this incredible offer of fraud, and I'll try not to let all that money go to my head when I'm swimming in dough. I'll still remember you, readers, all the little people out there.

Now, I know he said to keep it TOP SECRET, but nobody reads this blog anyway, and you guys who do won't tell anyone, will you? I didn't think so. This goes for you too, Chinese internet troller who likes to post links to HOT ASIAN PORN! in the comments of my blog posts. Keep it on the down-low.

And finally, now that I'm filthy rich, Obama should definitely not be in the White House. Suck it all you poor people!

January 30 at 2:43pm
Hello Peter Terry,

I am sorry to contact you unannounced through this medium. I am Mr. Benjamin T. Dabrah, a banker here in Ghana . I write you this proposal in good faith hoping that I will rely on you . In 2006, one Mr. Daniel Terry who has same surname as yours and who has your country in his file as his place of origin, made a fixed deposit for 36 calendar months, valued at $18,400,000.00 with my bank. I was his account officer before I rose to the position of Manager Director now. The maturity date for this deposit contract was 16th of January 2009. Unfortunately, while on a business trip ,he died in a deadly earthquake that occurred on May 12, 2008 in Sichuan province of China which killed at least 68,000 people.

Since the last quarter of 2009 until today,the management of Barclay's bank have been finding a means to reach him so as ascertain if he will want to roll over the Deposit or have the contract sum withdraw .Since September 2009,when I discovered that this will happen , I learn t of his death ,so I have tried to think up a procedure to preserve this fund and use the proceed for charity .

Some directors here been trying to find out from me the information about this account and the owner, but I have kept it closed because, I know that if they become aware that Mr Daniel is now late, they will corner the funds for themselves. Therefore, I am seeking your co-operation to present you as the one to benefit from his fund at his death since you have the same name, so that my bank head quarters will pay the funds to you. I have done enough inside bank arrangement and only have to put in your details into the information network in the bank computers and reflect you as his next of kin.

I am not a greedy person, so I am suggesting we share the funds equal, 50/50% to both parties My share will assist me to start a charity organization to help the poor and also own a company which has been my dream.

Let me know your mind on this and please do treat this information as TOP SECRET. We shall go over the details once I receive your urgent response strictly through my personal email address, benjamindabrah@gmail.com Have a nice day,and may GOD bless you.

Anticipating your communication.

Mr. Benjamin Dabrah
benjamindabrah@gmail.com

If I Could Travel Through Time...

2010-03-30T13:20:00.000-07:00

I'd probably go see this.

Okay, it's nerd-gasmic. But probably only to me. It's also a little gay. And you wonder why I'm bitter I didn't get to attend the Torchwood/Doctor Who panels at Comic Con. Sigh.

Something Horrific This Way Comes...

2010-03-29T11:32:00.001-07:00

And all for the low, low price of Indie.

Salt Lake City will soon be hopping up on zombies, blood, and all sorts of torture-porn. That's right, move over Sundance with all your arty films in which death must be meaningful and poignant. No, we're talking about a new festival for the independent filmmaker that (theoretically) is debuting this October:

The Salty Film Horror Festival

Now technically this festival is open to horror and sci-fi submissions, and from the sound of it, favoring the independent artist (read: staggering differences in quality of submissions). But then, that's what makes it fun, isn't it? I love Sundance but it gets extremely pretentious, and listening to d-bags in enormous fur coats argue over whether the movie made sense or not and let's go because there's just enough time to down a $200 bottle of wine before we have dinner reservations followed by some celebrity-studded party...

Well its time to get back to basics. And you can't get more basic than horror films. I've discoursed on horror films before, because they hold a special place in my heart. And truthfully, a grassroots (a term I loathe by the way, as its thrown around like so much germinating seed that I'm surprised every artistic industry isn't buried in a tangle of un-mown lawn) horror film festival in the land of the Mo's seems like a fantastic idea. There is no doubt that you'll see some of the worst cinematic attempts, and one can hope, a gem or two. Regardless, it is exciting to see some more cultural opportunities arise in our conservative state. It's a cause for celebration, for me at least, and will definitely be an enjoyable experience for anyone who likes independent films and people getting mutilated.

One of the exciting features is that they'll have many categories of entry, but tentatively two different 72-hour filmmaking contests within the festival, in which you'll get three days to create a horror film to be shown. At present they are scheduled early April and in August of this year. If you're at all interested it promises to be a fun opportunity and fairly inexpensive opportunity.

I know this will be of interest to a few of you that read this blog, and I encourage everyone to consider either a) submitting -you have several months and can submit all the way up until mid-September, for a rather nominal fee; or b) putting it on their calendar to attend and support, lest the festival die in its first year attempt. Check out their site and enjoy.

On a couple of horrifying side notes...

1. If you were hoping for a chance to run for the title of Miss Salty Horror ("the face of the Salty Horror Film Festival"), the ship has sailed. But maybe next year.

2. In another epic horror event, I attended the 70's Japanese fantasy-horror film House at the Tower theater this weekend. In an incredible display of blue-screening, soft focus, green-eyed cats and flowing scarves, this movie was an incredible and amusing experience. It runs until Thursday, so you have very little time to see it, but I highly recommend a viewing. My compadre Brady indicated that this was the first screening of the film since it's initial release, and I'm proud to have been privy to it.

So naturally I was bothered by some woman (one of the six of us in the screening) who complained rather loudly how little sense the film made. It still irritates me now, because whatever else you may say about death-by-mattress and travel-via-refrigerator, the movie was hardly incoherent. In fact it made plenty of sense with its visual if weak story line of girls vacationing at their spooky Aunt's home. Some people just have no taste. And if her palette found this incomprehensible, I can only imagine what other, more avant garde films might do to her digestion.

Here's a teaser in case you're hoping for a fear too beautiful to resist...

Silence for my Headspace

2010-03-28T17:04:00.000-07:00

Is it possible to live tending to only the things you enjoy without the constructs other people placed upon you? On one hand, the automatic answer is an emphatic "no." No matter what you choose to pursue in your life there are always other people to keep happy, deals to make and compromises to strike. You take the good with the bad, and hope the good ultimately outweighs the other.

But another part of me whispers that's not true, not really. This idea is propagated because everyone else has been subjugated to this mentality, and if you look away from it, you're ridiculed as foolish and a n'ere-do-well spending their time unwisely. It is plausible to think outside the box and do whatever the hell you want, whatever makes you happy.

I feel this may be true too. Don't we limit ourselves? Isn't our potential usually capped by our own mental frailties? But what is most frightening to me is what that course of action embraces as a philosophy. If I turn my back on the system that we deem necessary, that means I feel it is beyond hope, even as a framework to build within. And if that's true, then all the individuals tied to it are simply extensions of that ideological prison. And hence, my motives become purely selfish, uninterested in providing something meaningful to anyone except myself. And that provides all sorts of conundrums, theoretically speaking. From the introduction of my actions being in a vacuum to existential questions like defining oneself without external parameters to measure by.

It's a mess. The plain fact is that I'm exhausted listening to others tell me how my life ought to be unfolding; family, teachers, friends, mentors, bosses, corporations, and media... all of it letting me know whether I'm wasting my time and on track for failure. Basically that's the crux of it, this Sunday afternoon. How are you?

Chainsaw Warrior Victorious

2010-03-25T09:47:00.000-07:00

As promised, here's a picture we took of Julie's triumphant hour.

This end-game photo shows exactly how it went down, too. Exactly. Note the rest of us cowering and perishing to her evil 4,5, or 6 whims.

Today's Special

2010-03-19T12:15:00.000-07:00

A few thoughts for the day.

1. It is surprisingly easy to hit enter and publish a blog post with absolutely nothing in it. If anyone would take me seriously, I'd call it art and have them hang it in the MOMA.

2. One of the fun things about alcohol is that it can be an experience. Not, just the inebriation part, but the entire culture and mythos that surrounds it. My fellow bartenders at work generally agree with me that making alcoholic drinks is far more fun than their virgin brethren, although this is perhaps true of of people too. Ha, just kidding. I love learning about wine because there is so much to look for. I enjoy trying vintage cocktails to see what people in ye olde days enjoyed, when a drink took skill and was really a drink (the clubs here could learn a thing or too; something besides a long island would be nice), Satan's Whiskers for example. I guarantee you'll get blank stares if you ask for this one, and yet it is a gem. Anyway, there's something about the associated history that makes it an enjoyable subject.

3. I have been pouring over selections for a board game group. One that consists of Capree and I so far. Now taking reservations. Oh, and I've been planning and drafting (I'm a dork) a card holder tower for Talisman. Because frankly, with all the cards now sleeved, they are three times the height, and slide if you look at them wrong. Sigh.

4. I think I'm at my best when I don't have to deal with other people.

And there are my thoughts for this Friday afternoon. Aside from, do you remember Today's Special?

Or Zoobilee Zoo, for that matter? Kinda terrifying to think back upon what made up my childhood.

Midlife Crisis at Jamba Juice Today

2010-03-17T09:41:00.000-07:00

On Occasion

2010-03-16T21:34:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, just sometimes, I get tired. And bored. And quiet.

And resentful.

And I just want to be left alone in my own personal world. Sometimes.

Those are times to have a stiff drink. Maybe one on fire.

Popular Culture Growths

2010-03-12T12:23:00.000-08:00

Do you love popular culture? Do you want to find out about the exciting happenings, projects, collaborations, retrospectives and coming attractions in comics, film, television, books, video games and entertainment retail? Would you like to meet all your favorite celebrities, authors, artists, and so on?

Then attend Comic Con 2010 this coming July!

Except you can't. Because it's sold out.

I first attended Comic Con four years ago, basically on a whim. We literally decided a couple weeks before hand we were going to go, and threw together the trip. Fortunately, we were able to buy our tickets at the door and thoroughly enjoyed running around the showroom floor, attending panels and geeking out. The presentations at the Con have the capacity to be truly impressive. Guests and panels can be fascinating insights into things upcoming or into territory you already love. Naturally they have the potential to be terrible as well, despite good billing, but that became less of a problem in later years where, in order to get into a panel you needed to attend the two panels prior to it in order to obtain a seat. They stopped clearing rooms out after a presentation, and then admitted as many new people to the room as empty seats based upon who left. What this meant was that instead of determining which conflicting panel you wanted to see more, you had to determine if you were also willing to block out three hours to get into it. The nice part was that you'd see panels you'd never have chosen to attend and might end up with some true gems, even if the one you were actually waiting for was a dud.

I do have to add that we got into one or two panels thanks to Will, who will be going to hell, for lying us in with some story about having to leave the discussion early so we could take somebody to the medic area. It worked though and we enjoyed a really crowded Marvel presentation followed by the even more insane Sarah Silverman and friends. Totally worth it.

Each year the Con has gotten more ridiculous. The next year we attended, you had to buy your tickets online, and they filled mostly to capacity. Oh, and forget about getting a hotel near the convention center. That fills up ages beforehand. The third year we went, it sold out a couple months in advance. We skipped a year since I was frolicking in Japan, and in rolls 2010: Will and I think, hey, maybe we'll go again this year and take Chase. He's old enough now that the worries of him getting lost are lessened, and at an age to enjoy it.

Except that the passes sold out in November.

November! In a way, it's easier to accept that they're already sold out. The crowds can be and are overwhelming, a great deal of time is spent in lines, or searching for food that isn't overpriced or miles from the building, it grows more and more mainstream commercial each time, and frankly, there are some weird people (I guess we count in that...). Last year's attendance was somewhere around 140,000. I do enjoy Comic Con, a lot, but frankly that's just too many nerd in one place.

I need to find something more exclusive and elitist.

One Note Soliloquy

2010-03-12T09:06:00.001-08:00

Okay, I'm just gonna come out and say it:

I want to start a board game group. Or club. Or coterie.

Although it can certainly involve card games too. Though not poker. I'm just not a poker player. We played a H.P. Lovecraft inspired board game, Arkham Horror the other night, (much to the chagrin of Brady, who gave up half way through and left us to die to the dark forces of Yig, though I'm not bitter) (although, I should mention that we did eventually defeat Yig. Go us.) I learned two things from this experience.

1) I really do just like games. Even though I force everyone to play Talisman on a semi-regular basis, it is by no means the end-all-be-all. I am open to playing all manner of board games and would like to play them more often. In fact I'd like other people to suggest, bring and teach us new games.

2) Arkham Horror, and others no doubt, require upkeep. Despite being ridiculously overcomplicated (monsters, horrific dimensions and bank loans, oh my!) it was actually quite fun. But now that we've taken the 2 hours or so to obtain a rough working knowledge of the game's rules, we need to play it again lest it all drains out of our pea-brains.

Oh the Horror! Do you see the number of pieces to this game?!?

Hence, I am led to the this conclusion: Monthly, or bi-monthly, if I could get my way, a select group (read: pretty much anyone who is willing, which seems to fluctuate) will gather to play a game. Likely this would be a Sunday, since that seems easiest for most people. The game could be selected by one member of the Coterie, and really doesn't have a limit, although time constructs ought to be discussed. Bring anything from Apples to Apples to Descent Into Darkness. We'll try it all!

Sound fun? Sound intriguing? Wish you were a part of this still-to-be-officially-named gaming group? Well, all you need is a bit of patience, an enjoyment of social board games, a penchant for trying new things, and a willingness to die for your country. Actually, that last part probably isn't necessary unless you're joining the Marines. On a random note, the Marines did petition me recently, via postcard. "Congrats, you're graduating! Now do some real learning and joing the military!" Um, no thanks. Especially not after I've graduated and you're not going to pay for my schooling.

Right, so... let me know if you're interested. Honestly, I don't know if there are enough people who read this/would be intrigued enough to consider making game night a regular thing. But if so, speak up. If nothing else, there's always a lot of terrible-for-you snack foods to enjoy and plenty of inebriation, which seems to work out as an advantage for the non-drinkers.

Our Board Game Group

Or at least what I picture our group looking like. Maybe with more men. And fewer bikinis. And cowboy hats. Although if you wanna wear your cowboy hat, feel free. I don't judge. Much. Of course, if I mandate that we all dress up like our Talisman characters, who knows, we really could come out looking like these tramps. And doesn't that look fun?

Addendum to an Obsession

2010-03-07T22:05:00.000-08:00

I had to tack on a couple of projects that I ran across in my continued search for ways to get more from Talisman. These images are yet another testament that I am not that hardcore about this game. At least not while there's people out there who create 3D game boards of it. At least not yet. I will be out of school and aimless in a couple of months... who knows, I just might end up creating something like one of these:

Oh, and this will undoubtedly not be the last thing I post about Talisman. And I'm sorry for that, for your sake. But images like the Chainsaw Warrior winning are still forthcoming.

A Question, Doctor

2010-03-06T09:17:00.000-08:00

Well folks, the rumor mill is a-churning. This time it's about an interview in which Warner Bros. has reportedly asked Christopher Nolan, director of Batman Begins and The Dark Knight (amongst other great films) to oversee and mentor the re-launch of Superman. Apparently Superman Returns wasn't doing it for them, and since the hastening of Marvel comic-book to film characters brought about by Disney's acquisition of the brand, WB is feeling the pressure to have some successful competition in the Superhero vein. Coupled with the suggestion that WB also stand to lose the rights to Superman within a few years, there actually might be something to this rumor. However, this is not all that is being thrown around. There is rumor Nolan will have something to do with Wonder Woman, and more importantly, it has been slipped twice now that Goyer and Nolan are working on a script for a third Batman film. An official announcement is expected shortly.

I respect Christopher Nolan as a storyteller; he's done something with the Batman franchise I had thought never to see: legitimize it. No more Schwarzenegger ice puns, or one dimensional Tommy Lee Jones. For a lover of all things Bat, this has been truly phenomenal. I could only hope for at least one more (and perhaps that at the most; a trilogy rounds things out nicely, succinctly finished before it can collapse into a camp fest a la Forever and Returns), though Nolan seemed initially hesitant about returning despite Dark Knight's ending. I seriously hope that the director will be getting back in the driver's seat one last time and complete the fantastic tale he's been spinning. As for Wonder Woman or Superman, I highly doubt Nolan will be too actively involved. Consider the reality he's grounded the Batman mythos in. It is a dark and gritty world that might be highly imaginative, but constantly mulls over the accomplishments and tribulations of men as men. He might dole out advice on Superman, but amazonian women with magic lassos and greatly overpowered aliens with a weakness to rocks doesn't sound like his cup of tea.

In any event, there is no official confirmation of any of these things, yet that doesn't stop people feeding off the information and creating all manner of entertaining gossip. For example, did you know that while there isn't a script or official confirmation on a film at all, Johnny Depp has definitely been cast as the Riddler?

May I take a moment to say I am so over Johnny Depp and his fan club. Lord, I'm tired of people thinking he's the perfect end-all solution to any character with odd personality traits. At the midnight showing of Alice in Wonderland the other night, I couldn't believe how many people showed up in white face (which doesn't accurately reflect the look of the film's Mad Hatter at all, by the way) and let out many a cheer anytime he did anything on camera. You can just imagine how the audience went up at his stupid dance in the end of that film. What's that? You have a part for somebody slightly offbeat and possibly culturally iconic? Johnny Depp could do it! Johnny Depp can do anything!!

I, for one, would not be excited to see Johnny Depp play the Riddler. Philip Seymour Hoffman as the Penguin is more wishful thinking, but one I could probably get behind, as I respect the actor. I should note that several people have commented that they can't imagine how the Penguin would fit into this world Nolan has built. Rest assured, most of them only draw upon the Danny Devito... experience. Sourced from the current comic trend, Penguin is much less a bird-loving freak and now a posh nightclub owner who moves and shakes the underworld of Gotham, supplying information (and much more) while keeping his own hands clean. Easily inducted.

No, we don't have any idea who the characters would be in this potential film, but I found these and had to post these as it seems the Riddler is a favorite. Never mind that they eschew the Dark Knight style and tone for something notably more Schumacher-esque, I'll still give whoever made these cheesy posters props for their casting selections. Enjoy, and salivate over the possibility of more Batman.

Neil Patrick Harris would make for quite a villain. I mean it's not like he doesn't have experience. But the next is my favorite. I couldn't resist him as the Doctor, and could anyone better play Edward Nigma? No. The answer is no. Although I should hope the costume designer wouldn't put him in THAT outfit.

Reasons I'm Not an Astronaut

2010-03-02T22:31:00.000-08:00

Today's thoughts:

I was considering random fears this morning, for no apparent reason. Most fears are born out of something. Perhaps they're constructed ideas from media, or maybe past childhood traumas, but regardless, our psyche glances at our world around us and creates personal scenarios that become frightening to us.

And sometimes that process creates completely irrational things to be afraid of. I suspect we all have a few ridiculous fears. I'm not talking the slightly legitimate things like a fear of spiders, which theoretically could really bite you and cause some trauma. Or snakes. I've both been bitten by spiders and on occasion encountered snakes, so I don't consider those completely irrational. No, I'm talking about things which are either impossible, or extremely unlikely.

Here are a few I've developed over the years.

1. Floating into space.

The idea of being in space, floating away from the ship, let's say to do routine maintenance on a solar panel, and having my tether be cut... makes my chest constrict just thinking about it. I mean, let's be honest, how likely is it that I'll ever be in space and have my tether cut? But the very thought of floating helplessly away, knowing I'll run out of oxygen or freeze to death eventually, but being so helpless is kinda horrifying to me. On the other hand, you would have quite a view before you eventually died. I suppose there are worse ways to go.

2. Being crushed in a submarine.

If the fear of floating away into complete openness is freaky, then so is the opposite: being immersed in crushing blue-black water at the bottom of the ocean is another fear that plagues me. Which is unfortunate, given my interest in shipwrecks. There's something about the color of the water at that depth, where even light can't filter through, and you know you're surrounded on all sides by so much pressure you'd be dead in an instant if anything goes wrong... yeah, that's just no good.

3. Driving beneath a collapsing overpass.

This one is a possibility, but the chances of me finding myself under an overpass at the moment an earthquake hits or shoddy workmanship gives way to a collapse, is extraordinarily minute. And yet, I can't help but think about it every time I drive under one, and for a moment, hold my breath, just in case tons upon tons of cement are about to rain down on my head.

Don't look at me like I'm crazy. Like you don't have your own ridiculous fears. And frankly, I encourage you to expound on yours, now that you know mine.

Resolutions Worth Resolving

2010-02-18T08:32:00.000-08:00

If you follow my facebook, which I doubt any of you do, I proposed something slightly more manageable this year in terms of personal betterment: to play more games.

Specifically I said video games, but as this year (nearly 1/6 over already) has progressed I started to see another passion, equally worthy of my time. When I made the statement, I was pretty heavily playing Dragon Age. Addicted, you might say, like Elven crack... which may or may not be your thing. Apparently it is mine, however, since despite my best efforts with the dorky-but-attractive (as attractive as digital characters can be) warrior Alistair,

the only man-on-man action my Mage can muster is with Zevran, Elven assassin extrodinaire.

In fact Zevran was so ready to sleep with me, my propositioning him before introductions had even cooled, met with complete success. And earned me a game trophy for being an Easy Lover. Seriously.

Anyway, I wanted to play more which was the point. And since there's more coming which will surely demand my attention, namely Final Fantasy XIII, I think it's safe to say I'll have plenty to play in the upcoming months. If I have any time to play anything, that is.

So video games aside, I have been enjoying a new phenomenon lately: the joys of social-dorkdom in the form of Talisman, a fantasy adventure board game. Actually this is an old guilty pleasure, one I first played at a friend's house with all his brothers at age 9 or so. Being an avid reader, particularly of fantasy, I was completely captivated by the character building and questing of this game. I even went home an tried to create my own game of a similar variety (read: pretty much copied it in a very poorly drawn and cheap way on yellowing computer paper).

I've always loved board games. They can be great entertainment and a fun mental exercise every once in a while, although my family flatly refuses to play Monopoly with me anymore after I continually kicked all their Get-outta-jail-free trash. They're just bitter. When we were young, Amy and I searched for 13 Dead End Drive when we acquired some Christmas gift money, an odd game where you moved other players into physical death traps, like a chandelier that collapses on their piece. It was sort of morbid but we loved it.

Much later I was introduced by my friend Jennie to the thrills of Settlers of Catan in Colorado, a game that saw me through many of my mission office evenings and P-days, and continues to be a fun, and often stressful experience. I don't mind war games, Game of Thrones being my favorite, as it takes the fun of Risk and makes it manageable. Because honestly, who needs a two hour turn? By then everyone else has checked ou of the game.

The point is, I love games. And that first experience with Talisman was no exception. When I was old enough to be making my own money, I searched desperately for a copy, the game now on it's 3rd edition was practically out of print. I even managed to find one remnant, priced completely out of my range. I gave up and let Talisman go to rest, figuring I'd never play it again.

To make a long and boring story short, the game was re-released, in a random but exciting event, changing hands from its parent company a couple times before landing with Fantasy Flight Games, who've done an excellent job. Not only does the game look great, but they continue to support it with expansions. And best of all, I have people who will play it with me! (Some begrudgingly, I suspect, but play it all the same; for which I am grateful)

Game nights happen fairly frequently these days, and it is always a good time; I love what the different personalities bring to the table (believe me, it makes all the difference), coupled with snacks, a ridiculous soundtrack (don't make fun, you know you want to play board games to Gregorian Monks chanting "Losing My Religion"), and plenty of unhealthy food and alcoholic bevs. Talisman is suited to this social engagement as there is some strategy needed, but so much depends on chance and other players. If my love of promoting this game weren't enough, consider then that I, too, remade the Timescape Expansion for this game. It was a bizarre expansion released to help promote some of Game Workshop's (then the owners) other games, and took Talisman to a whole new inter-dimensional level. It was also dangerous, and completely fun. For "Super Talisman Bowl Sunday," as Capree called it, I worked to resurrect Timescape, and would say I did so quite successfully. Alas I have no pictures to share, but I'll take some next time.

Finally, since I know this post has been utterly self-indulgent, I will close with two thoughts. 1) All of my Talisman buddies should be excited... There is a new expansion being released this spring: The Highland!! Make yourselves comfortable, cuz we be playing again soon.

And 2) If you're sad about how long it sometimes takes us to play through a game of Talisman with all these expansions, consider these people. They play a game they refer to as "MegaTalisman," using a unique point system for visiting other boards, they use all expansions and a great number of home brew expansions. The game is capped at about 12-15 hours.

See? We're not so bad.

Resurrection Pending...

2010-02-15T12:29:00.000-08:00

And on the 3rd day, they went unto the tomb, only to discover that He did survive.

An Open Letter to Gwen Stefani

2010-01-29T18:11:00.001-08:00

Dear Gwen,

I noticed you haven't been in the studio recently and I am concerned.
When are you going to release another album so you can go on tour and
I can come see you in concert? Please rectify this situation
immediately. Thank you.

Peter

Last Seen at Sundance

2010-01-27T08:24:00.000-08:00

I've been going to Sundance again this year. It's usually my favorite time too; Seeing nouveau cinema, with a fresher perspective (if not the renegade affair they like to pretend it is - the irony of one of the largest and most commercial film festivals saddling the theme of "Rebel" is inescapable). This year has, so far, proven a mixed bag of films. From the outright psychedelic and terrifying Pepperminta (highly recommended if you've ever craved watching someone menstruate into a silver chalice then feed it to friends), the underwhelming New Low (it would seem that in order to write a character who is witty and wry, the writer himself ought to be witty and wry) or the interesting, if uneven Taqwacores (did anyone even realize there was a Muslim punk scene?), this hasn't been a typical year of high quality for me. That judgement is premature as I still have seven more films to go, but even so, I don't regret seeing movies. Virtually ever, in fact. The only film I think I desperately wanted out of was The Wedding Planner, but that's likely because I had no one who would mock it with me. I don't mind terrible movies, and there's always something gained by the experience, good or bad.

No, the movies aren't my beef this year. It's the people.

Sure, it's always been like this, and perhaps I'm just taking it to heart this time round. But there are a load of toolbags everywhere I turn. All with their stupid parka coats, stupid unkempt - in an "artsy" sort of way - appearance, and hauling their livelihood around like one of the Pioneer Park homeless, in a stupid backpack. God, the backpacks. The appearance is annoying enough, like they're setting out for a hike to Mt. Everest base camp, not sit in a theater for a couple hours. Not just annoying when you trip over them, carelessly thrown in the aisles of a restaurant, it smacks of yuppie, and has come to symbolize for me the crowd of people who attend this festival not for the films, but for the event that it is. It's the same plague that afflicts all the locals who, upon learning you "went to Sundance," inquire as to who you saw. For some, this is less a place of new ideas in a relatively young art form, and more a celebrity press event. A place to be seen, or if you're not famous enough to be seen, a place to be seen with those who are.

I sit in theaters, looking at high maintenance women who are hoping they'll see some cliché romantic comedy, or if it has to be a drama, a touching Titanic-esque piece. There's the attention craving homos who are desperate to be a part of a connected, affluent and edgy world, be it by means of bragging rights or keeping themselves clothed in Gucci with a well placed blow job. There's the grungy types, who work extremely hard to cultivate their counter-culture look and attitude, who have to show up at these things if they're going to continue their "check-out-how-stylishly-I-give-'the man'-the-middle-finger" hipness. And there are more, oh so many more. These aren't people who look for alterations in cinematic narrative, editing convention, or experimental camerawork. They're really there to party and talk up the exclusivity to their friends. If they have to see a few movies to make themselves seem special and part of something, so be it.

Maybe I'm jaded. And perhaps I am, as with each passing year I seem to find a deeper well of cynicism with which to approach life. I'm just tired of the facades that flock to something that ought to offer unconventional perspectives taking stabs at truth. I also realize that maybe I'm no better. I sit in judgement, but perhaps I'm just one more toolbag, of the imperious variety.

Sundance is hardly alone in its attraction to people of the "reality tv" generation. This is an age where we've been fed on shows that teach anyone can be a celebrity, American royalty. Unlike the antiquated British system of blood lines, these days all it takes is gold-digging for a rose from some bachelor, a well placed youtube video, a bitchy housewife in Atlanta, or a "leaked" sex tape. You don't have to actually have talent or connections, except maybe to the internet. Everyone wants to be rich, everyone wants to be famous, and now that it seems so attainable, we're all the more desperate for others to think we are. Truly this is the land where dreams come true. And sometimes I don't think there's any low to which people won't stoop to achieve them.

Multimedia message

2009-12-31T07:03:00.000-08:00

WTF? Only in Idaho.

Hap-hap-happiest Time of the Year

2009-12-29T09:25:00.001-08:00

So Christmas came. And it went. I don't know how a year managed to
wrangle past so quickly, but here we are nearly at 2010. Which, by
all accounts will be a good year. What more can you say about the
release year of FF XIII? Anyway...

Let's recap 2009 for everyone who lived through it (and thus doesn't
need a recap):

•We got a new president. Which just went to prove that our nation is
still both racist and socially unprogressive. But that's the way Jesus
wants it.

•We are living through history. I think most of the events of the
last few years have really just been a sign of the end of American
Imperialism. Our "empire" is in decline, and frankly that's okay. I
mean hell, it worked out for the Brits right? Someday textbooks will
say this. Maybe not American textbooks, but textbooks somewhere. This
decline is most likely due to homosexuals destroying marriage/family
values, our failure to continue torturing other (non-American) human
beings and liberals advocating a universal right to healthcare. It
certainly wouldn't involve our moral superiority complex and divine-
right approach to international relations or capitalist greed in our
financial sector. Luckily our educational system is broken, so more
parents can keep their children home-schooled and away from Satanist
teachings like evolution and global warming. After all, science has no
place in the Lord's Nation.

•For you locals, we learned that the LDS church is akin to the
southern blacks during the civil rights movement, according to Dallin
H. Oaks. This is because the Church is being persecuted for helping
to deny equal rights to another group of people. Just like the
southern blacks were lynched and hung because they didn't want
Mexicans to be allowed to marry. Just like that.

•We discovered that swine flu is way worse than bird flu and we'll
all probably be dead from it soon enough. My school gave us this
advice: Don't go to the doctor if you get sick. We don't want to
overwhelm them. Also, if you're near the U when the flu turns this
country into Zombieland, it is worth knowing that the university
tennis courts have been designated as "The Morgue." Seriously.

• 2009 also took Michael Jackson from us. It was a difficult blow for
many people who didn't know him. And for those few who did. And for
those who sent their kids to his ranch.

•While we're on the subject of celebrities, Tiger Woods cheated on
his wife. Does anyone care? The Media does. And thank god because how
else would we get all the sordid details of the events that normal,
rational people don't give a shit about? Thankfully there are millions
of people who would rather hear about Tiger's marital problems than
all the real news going on. Wait, we're still in a war? Since when?

•Lastly, NASA discovered that there is likely water on the moon. I
could make some comment about our future possibilities for polluting
it, but that's just preachy so I'll simply say: yep. There's water on
the moon.

And there, dear friends, is a biased and useless recap of 2009.
Hopefully 2010 brings you joy, advancement and scads more scandals of
every type. Happy soon-to-be-new year!

How many resurrections does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2009-11-23T11:03:00.001-08:00

Okay, the title doesn't make any sense. Nor will the rest of this post. But I have seen a pattern here in my blogging; it functions very much like a wave pattern: periods of heightened activity and interspersed with dropping off the face of the planet.

I apologize for this. I should be more regular. Which is why I'm shooting for a high-fiber diet. But I should also write more often.

The show which consumed my life has come to an abrupt end, and I will post pictures... once I get them. But this should leave me with more time. Theoretically. In reality all I've been left with is a bit of creative satisfaction, an overpowering urge to drink wine with friends, and the urge to play video games.

For right now, that's enough. Hopefully I'll have more luck in the future waxing philosophically. Or at least cynically. Today, I'm just going to remember how much fun it is to be an 8 foot tall blue tiger with a huge sword and a badass fashion sense (a reference that likely makes sense to almost none of you... your loss).

The Colorado Way

2009-10-05T12:58:00.001-07:00

Apple Jack. A store that carries more than all the Utah liquor stores
combined.

One More Thing

2009-10-05T12:53:00.001-07:00

I would like to know why Utah is so damned backwards. If anyone has an
answer, I'd love to hear it. My current theory is that as People-Who-
Have-the-Truth, Mormons feel it's necessary to pick on those who
"don't."

I guess if you're not in with the popular crowd, it's cool for the
majority to restrict your rights and make your life inconvient, (which
is funny given their history) whether we're talking gay marriage or
finding a decent bottle of wine in the store.

Found three favorite wines in Colorado today. None are carried by the
DABC.

Baby - Barbera d'Asti
Voga - Italian Pinot Grigio
Green and Red - California Zinfandel

Thanks Utah, for making getting away an even more pleasurable
experience due to your restrictive and discriminatory mentality.

Tokyo o kudasai.

2009-09-18T11:24:00.000-07:00

A bit of Tokyo love (because I loved Tokyo) for you:

Countryside on my bullet train ride. Most of Japan that you're actually in is nothing like this. It's jam packed as far as the eye can see with buildings.

The Imperial Palace Gardens. Seriously beautiful.

I could not find a picture that encapsulates Japan more. Everything about this country is a hybrid, and this picture showcases that. Taken from the the Imperial Palace walls, smack dab in the middle of Tokyo, and surrounded by high rises, it is old meets new.

There, this is more like what I saw, most of the time. Akihabara, the technology district of Tokyo.

Akihabara at night. More specifically, Yodabashi Camera, a ridiculous store with everything you could ever want. Including... the next picture.

That's right capsule toys. Those little vending machines at grocery stores filled with bouncy balls and crap, well they ain't got nothing on this place.

These are arcades. 8 story arcades, overflowing with adults. These aren't really kid places. There's smoking, drinking, and naturally some hard core video game playing. Oh Japan.

From the elevator at the hotel I stayed at. The Engrish begins.

This is a Japanese phenomenon. People obey the rules in Japan. Even if nobody is watching. Look at these escalators. You line up, single file, on the left side so people running up them can pass you. This happened everywhere. Its a small thing but it gives you an idea of the mentality in this country. Compare that with Americans ascending levels...

Naturally I had to go here. I wouldn't be a Japanophile if I didn't. And it was awesome.

And yes, that's Sephy. In the floor.

More to come. Like Harajuku. Huzzah!

Nihon, Nihongo, and Oh-So-Much-More

2009-09-06T17:21:00.000-07:00

Japan was incredible.

I start by saying this to anyone who asks how my trip was. That's because the moment I attempt to encapsulate the experience of living there for five weeks, words fail. I can't accurately summarize all that I felt and what the experience meant to me, and I suppose people don't really want me to either. They want to hear it was "good," and move on with their lives.

That doesn't keep me from wanting to express it. The beauty, the history, the spiritual aspects and the people... How do you explain that to someone who hasn't been there, in the moment? It's an undertaking that seems fairly impossible. I will elaborate as I see fit, but this will be closer to a collage of fragmented thoughts, moments and pictures in Japan.

Maybe that's best anyway. Maybe that's the way it really happened.

Landing. We came into the Kansai Intl Airport, a manmade island they built in the ocean, slowly sinking as the years go by.

View from the balcony of our dorms.

Breakfast of champions. Didn't think seaweed wrapped rice balls filled with fish sound delicious first thing in the morning? Well, you'd be wrong.

A fantastic photo of me. I must be overcome by all the excitement of Namba, a neon-lit shopping area where the trendy hang out. Trendy like me. And this look.

Ramen isn't just ramen. Although it is made in Osaka. Ramen shops specialize in incredible from-scratch varieties that chefs spend years in school learning to create. This remains one of the best meals I had. Maybe if you lick your computer screen you'll taste a bit of the incredible garlic flavor in this dish.

On the other hand, nothing quite grosses me out like Jello. Particularly coffee flavored jello. Utah would've stumbled on this first if they'd been into caffeinated beverages. Luckily Japan worked it out, so the world won't miss out on this delight.

And then there's Mos Burger. Think hamburger, with teriyaki sauce, lots of mayo, add curry and some onions on a delightful bun and you have Mos Burger. Better than it sounds. I promise.

Mass transit is all the rage in Japan. Occasionally very crowded, rather expensive on the whole, and totally convenient and clean. It puts ours to shame. Oh and that's Laurel in the background, another program member, dutifully doing as asked by the University, to wear masks around for the first week we're there, lest we kill everyone in Japan with swine flu. It didn't last quite so long with the rest of us...

I guess it would be appropriate to say this is a blog on my first impressions of Japan: food, surrounding areas and mass transit. So it seems like as good a bridge as any to end this post with my Shinkansen ride to Tokyo. We'll save Tokyo for next time, but these bullet trains are incredible. They literally leave and arrive the minute they say they will. The stewardess' are helpful and friendly, and the entire experience is just good.

More to come ...

Alright, alright already...

2009-09-02T10:56:00.001-07:00

To be updated soon: a brief blog on the wonders of Japan. Hopefully
you don't care if it's a lot of pictures. Cuz those are worth
thousands of words. Words I don't have to write.

Dear Anonymous

2009-07-14T20:21:00.000-07:00

Well friends, I am officially returned to the United States. And I have many incredible things to say about Japan. I love the exposure to a society that gives me the opportunity to experience a different cultural perspective; an opportunity that always allows one to question the places they came from and to expand their mind and narrow their predjudices. This is why I love to travel and explore places that aren't... well, here.

I have far too much I could discourse on my time in Japan, but for the moment, I will lead into the actual topic I wish to discuss tonight.

Today I got a response to my post on "The Trials of Self Loathing," from an anonymous reader who apparently doesn't agree with what I have to say. Which is fine! I don't expect everyone to think as I do. But likewise, they can hardly expect me not to address their comments if I feel so inclined. And since it is my blog, so I shall.

First the comment:

On Jul 14, 2009, at 4:51 PM
Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "G0ywads, or The Trials of Self-Loathing":

Attempting to explain spiritual things to non-spiritual people is impossible. Depth goes way over their heads.
When the spirituality on this blog actually is developed and strived for, maybe this blog would be worthy of reading.

And now, my response:

Dear Anonymous,
Thanks for your thoughts! The feedback of the readers helps us improve the services we provide here at Once A Murderer. Now, if I may, I'd like to address your comments.

First, bravo on soldiering your beliefs! It takes true moral fortitude to stand for what's right in these dark and increasingly evil times. I'm just disappointed you felt as though you needed to post your response anonymously. If, as you seem to imply in your comments, spirituality and hence God are on your side, there should be no reason to not publicly declare your lofty residence in the mansions of Heaven. Certainly I would never presume that your remarks were made anonymously out of a shame for your tennants, but you've put me in the difficult position of having to surmise the type of person who wrote this, so I might adequately respond.

Clearly you are not an avid reader of my blog since the post you remarked upon is older, and in terms of content, hardly a scathing review of religion. I've written far worse.

But perhaps we have some common ground there. I suspect that to some degree you too believe other religions can seriously confuse people looking for the truth. We differ only in that you believe you have "the one true church" and I believe there's no such thing. Ah well. As the saying goes, "You say tomato..."

I'm making the assumption you're a member of "the church." Your morally superior tone has that ring to it. I understand the need to justify to yourself that the way you're living your life is right. But I would like to offer a little advice, as a friend. Being so cocksure about an unknown afterlife and your own spiritual jockeying smacks of doubt. In fact, I find it interesting that you left these anonymous comments on that particular post, one which focuses on self-loathing, closeted homosexuals. For all intents and purposes, you've left me to assume you fall in that category and are thus taking such offense to my blogging.

Now I also gather you got to my blog through my facebook link, so likely we're facebook friends (a meaningless title indeed) unless you've dropped me for my lack of subjugation to the prophetic counsel. After all, you wouldn't want to hold onto people who don't think or believe the same way you do. It's a pretense that's seen us through Holocaust atrocities, Marxist regimes, and even mob persecutions of Latter Day Saints. Solid thinking indeed.

Perhaps that's the reason for your anonymity, then. Perhaps, like many who cry the loudest, you're covering for your own personal problems. I should hope you didn't withhold your identity for fear of being revealed as a hypocrite. Although it makes sense; and I completely understand, then, if you felt like you needed to make a righteous attempt at combating Satan but were afraid your own life, seated upon your throne and crowned with arrogance, wouldn't hold up to the scrutiny.

And what a crown it must be. I admit that I bristle (albeit only slightly) at your implication that I neither have nor am striving for spiritual things. I'm much obliged for your assessment, I really am. And I hope you'll give Jesus a high-five from me the next time you sit down with him and determine the spiritual state of others.

I could take the time to explain my own spirituality, my belief system, and the trials I went through to come to them and stand here as a person who feels he lives his life according to codes of a spiritual nature. I could, but I won't because I'm afraid the "depth" would go way over your head (A quick clarification: Does that sentence in your response mean I'm so deep I can't see the shallower "depths" above my head? I'm just asking logistically, of course, since that would reasonably, make me deeper than you. Elucidation would be quite welcome). It's incredibly presumptuous of you. I can only take from this that you mean I don't fall within your standards of spirituality. Not to be rude, but considering what you've given me so far - that you're likely a hypocritical closet case who feels better by condemning things that he/she doesn't understand - I'm not sure I want to hold myself to your spiritual standard. Its got a little too much "double" mixed in.

Finally, I appreciate that you've deemed my blog unworthy of reading - not just for yourself but for everyone. As I previously stated, you've clearly not been following my blog, so while I am grateful for your thoughts, I doubt you speak for all the readers out there. And sweetie, if you don't like my blog, no one is forcing you read it. You sound as though you'd be much more comfortable perusing LDS.org, so please, feel free to waste their time if you don't care for the content here. I have no intention of asking for your permission, or your spiritual guidelines before posting in the future, so really, don't expect it to get any better.

Anonymous, in the future, if you want to leave more comments on my blog, I welcome them. But in the meantime, feel free to take a look at why you're so desperate to prove your faith by anonymously attacking the spirituality of others through chicken shit comments. If you're looking for a fight, I'm happy to oblige, although I generally prefer rational, well-reasoned arguments. The "God-says-so" defense doesn't hold water, and the "I'm-on-Spiritual-high-ground" gives you no credibility. Seriously, do better next time.

Love your friend and offensive blogger,
Peter

Mysteries of the Exotic East

2009-06-03T21:50:00.000-07:00

Konnichiwa bitches.

As a quick update, I just wanted to inform you, my loyal readers, that i am currently going to be updating this very rarely for the next month or so. Whats the difference from what i am currently doing, you ask? As you should, since i never update this regularly anymore...

Fine, that was deserved. But i am not updating anytime soon because i have limited internet capabilities (although this may change when we are no longer under quarantine by the school for suspected swine flu. which we dont have but the japanese are afraid we do.)because (oh. i already stole my own thunder)Im in japan. and this keyboard is really difficult to use at times. i keep switching into kanji and kana characters. if my grammar is terrible, thats why.

Yes, the exotic world of anime, honorific exchanges, and robots. though i have yet to see any of the last one. but i have faith that i will get to before too long. here's hoping. anyway the point is that im far too busy trying to survive to worry about keeping this blog up to the minute. or week. or month.

whatever, in the meantime, ill continue to get stared at by adults, laughed at by children, and misunderstood some old asian guy trying to help me figure out how to buy a subway pass. until then, take care and just be jealous i can buy sake out of vending machines here.

G0ywads, or The Trials of Self-Loathing

2009-05-14T09:07:00.000-07:00

I know I promised a blog on more of my creative endeavors, but since that's probably less interesting to you faceless masses out there, I felt completely legitimate about posting some thoughts.

Indeed, these thoughts demanded to be posted when I stumbled upon the most amazing site ever (as mentioned by another blog, many thanks!).

A riddle for you:

Q: What's religious, homophobic, and interested in man on man action?

A: No, it's not Ted Haggard. It's the g0y (with a zero) movement.

Just what are g0ys? Christ almighty, where do I begin? G0ys are men who crave the intimacy of other men, but in a masculine sort of way because they are disgusted by "queeny" gays. Oh, and they definitely don't do anal sex. That's a big point in the core belief set. Approved activities include: naked wrestling (which is definitely encouraged by the site as a good way to bait other g0ys) hand jobs, blow jobs, massages, kissing, rubbing against each other, etc. None of which is "gay," apparently.

Who are g0ys? Well g0ys are any number of men (1 in 3, according to the well-researched stats on the site), many of whom are married and have kids, or that consider themselves straight, but just want a very close male bond. They are men who are dissatisfied with the media making such a big deal about anal sex in regards to gay life. But "gays," who are (apparently) all extremely effeminate and begging for anal sex, are met with repulsion by the g0ys.

Furthermore, the site gets into scripture. No seriously, it does. And it finds fault with the media and society for the stigma of to man on man love as evil, as a relationship that requires anal sex, and as a sin. In reality, the actual evil is anal sex, not intimacy with another man. The scriptures presented are laughable at best. Rev. 21:8 which cites sinners, (and sexual sinners) being cast into a lake of fire. How this proves his point, I'm not sure. Or Luke 17:2, the one about hanging a millstone about your neck if you cause the little ones to stumble in their belief. What? Seriously, what?

The site gets more ridiculous the deeper you get into it. They want churches to accept man on man love, but "loudly denounce anal sex and those that create tolerance for such deadly and destructive acts." There's plenty about aids on here - and admittedly because of thin tissue walls and such, anal sex can easily transmit STD's when care is not taken. But it turns out HIV is passed through other means as well. And **gasp!** straight people get it too!

So what do we do about this stigma, those of us who are amBisexual and get lots of babes but conceal our desire to be close to other men as well? He proposes that it's in education. Yep. He proposes the creation of g0y x-rated films to help educate people on the "appropriate" or moral version of man on man relationships. Seriously.

I'm seriously blown out of the water. Like seriously. The site rails (and hard) on homosexuals. It's the most out of control display of self-loathing I can imagine. In our society we use terms like gay or straight to stereotype people, on this point I'll agree. People are people, and there's varying degrees of attraction, likes or dislikes, innate in everyone. Fine. But this assertion - on moral groundwork no less - that g0ys are the right way to approach sexuality is ludicrous. There are gay men out there who don't like anal sex, just as there are straight women who do. Or straight men who like penetration, but aren't interested in men. It's a personal preference. Nobody like the same things, not even in bed, it turns out, and what disturbs me most is the sheer lack of tolerance displayed by g0ys. The idea that men loving men is not wrong, but "gay" is or anal sex, or effeminate acting men, is a serious pointer of someone who is confused.

I've run into lots of former (or current) church members who can't let the religious background go - and believe me, I understand. Religion can seriously fuck people up. It's incredible the things people will justify to themselves, and the manner in which they will. This site is an example of that. It's patently offensive on so many fronts. Some of my favorite notes include that not all gays are out there queens who don't understand what intimate relationships between men are really supposed to be, but beware: "hanging out with smokers will make you smell like smoke, likewise hanging out with flamers..." I also really enjoy that he compares "butt sex" to cyanide. Or that men rape other men because it is the ultimate expression of disrespect. He says this as if its totally credible, never questioning where the idea came from or that it might actually be an expression of a chauvinistic patriarchal system and the notion of masculinity. In fact what I find most interesting is how adamant he is in defending both a religious morality to this and his own masculinity. And on a side note, if you're considering coming out g0y, you're advised to work out at the gym for 6 months before doing so. Apparently the g0y world is not place for uglies.

It simply screams of some guy who can't come to terms with his interest in men, unless he can define it as something different, to allay his own moral conscious and to feed his self-loathing, hypocritical and hateful justifications.

Check out the site, because really there's too much ammo here. It's a riotous good time. And always remembered, you got g0yed here first.

g0y Me!

Does this look g0y to you?

Ring Around the Costume Shop

2009-05-13T12:09:00.000-07:00

Finally, as promised far too long ago, I will post my sketches and the actual costumes that came from them. It was for a beginning costume design class, so we each took a character from the play Ring Around the Moon. I was assigned Isabelle, a character who wears a dress that gets constantly mentioned throughout the play - it was a daunting task. Plus the director set the piece in 1912. Has anyone looked at the dresses during this period? They aren't pretty, they don't move, and they're not flattering to the figure. Ah well.

The process was also pretty consuming. I have to research the period and dresses for said occasions, then search for the right fabrics, dye them to the appropriate colors, meet with the pattern-maker and help them create a 3D version of the sketch, attend fittings, hair stylings, etc. etc. etc.

Turned out that my simple designs were some of the most time consuming and difficult to make, not to mention costly. This is a running theme - somehow I dream in naturally complicated designs. We saved a little money by not purchasing the perfect hand-beaded fabric online for the ball gown (which, when paired with the silk crepe would've brought this dresses cost in materials alone to $3000) and instead, I spent my life beading it myself. You do what you gotta do, I guess. Course, some saintly souls were willing to aid my in that beading process, but I'll allege I spent around 20 hours doing it. While I didn't have to make the dresses, I was still deeply involved and anything not clearly someone else's job, fell to me.

All in all I think it turned out well. Unfortunately these pictures don't do the beading/sparkle justice. Just imagine it sparkling under the stage lights. Because it did. And it was fantastic. My hands still hurt.

The Travel Dress/Coat:
This picture is terrible, I just took a quick one with my iphone, so sorry for the lousy quality.

And here's the actual:

On stage, suitcase in hand:

The Ball Gown
Once again, this is partially terrible photo and that I used colored pencils (watercolor or prisma color markers are far superior) but you get what you get.

And the actual:

The dress in action:

There you have it. It was busy, but in the end it was also really, really cool. For our final project we created designs for an imaginary show of our choosing, in any time period, but based upon the 7 Deadly Sins. I'll post those as soon as I get them back.

Updates Galore

2009-05-12T09:19:00.000-07:00

...are coming soon. In fact they'd come now if I didn't have to go to work. Damn it. Well, just sit on the edge of your seat until then, because as promised, the designs and the dresses will make their way on here, plus what has taken up all of my time the last couple months...

To make this post a little less lame, I will present for your viewing pleasure, the Chuck Norris Action Jeans!

Everyone should own a pair, or five. Who knows when you'll get into a scrape that only Chuck could get you out of.

Spring Breakin'

2009-03-19T09:51:00.001-07:00

Frankly, the last several weeks I've been in what I believe is a very creative place.

And it's getting worse.

Symptoms include twitchy energy that demands to be spent on constructing something, clutter steadily appearing as more crafty stuff gets dug out of storage, and a complete lack of memory for details like what someone is saying to me, as I zone out and ponder the best method of heat forming sintra.

School is coming progressively to an end for me. I'll FINALLY have my degree, and be ready to charge out into a economic crisis and try to survive. Hooray. In the meantime I'm hoping to funnel my creative strides into exercises that are fulfilling and portfolio building. Someday I'll make a name out of all this stuff.

Anyway, for now, I've been juggling things I need to get done - costume stuff for the upcoming U theater production (the outfits are turning out incredibly well. I'll post some pics and my design sketches here soon), school (despite it being spring break), work (always work, always my favorite, although its amazing how much less I hate my shifts when I desperately need money), and of course, projects to keep me sane.

As posted once, I have too many. My interests are ridiculously wide a varied anymore, and thus so are the things I work on. Screenplays, novels, costumes (which includes a bevy of things from sewing to leather working to uncomfortable exchanges at the Home Depot as they want to know why you only need a 1' x 15' section of rubberized pond lining), fan films, cooking, self educating (because new skills are always good skills), 1930's murder mysteries, and so on. Currently though, Judge Gabranth is taking up my free moments. I've wanted to build this costume for a while and it was so overwhelming, I lost my way for a bit. No worries; now I'm back and pushing through it.

Okay, so this has been an update style posting. I apologize, because its like you're reading a lame journal entry. I promise (ha!) that the next entry will be more essay-esque in nature, like my old blog posts used to be: i.e. more pompous aire and a dash imperious.

To Rant or Not to Rant

2009-03-17T23:47:00.000-07:00

This is always the problem with writing blogs a few days later - I planned a rant about moral high ground and the insanely irritating tendency some people display in thinking they always have it. But that energy has petered out and as much fun as it might be to insult or offend people, particularly heavily religious people (who, let's be honest, are often the ones claiming such a position), I'm spent and will limit myself to an extremely short discussion of a subject dear to my heart:

I don't care how much money they make, whether they prefer ebonics, or if rappers just aren't creative enough to come up with actual lyrics, the fact remains:

CONVERSATE IS NOT A WORD. Nor is any form thereof. You are not conversating, on the phone or anywhere else. You converse. In fact, what's worse is that the legitimate word is even shorter than the derelict version. Which means that rappers are either trying to be stylistic, or really in need of grammar lessons.

Anyway, that's all. Rant completed.

Coming Soon...

2009-03-12T13:53:00.000-07:00

I am tired. And I have a rant to give.

Most likely it will be offensive.

But I can't now. I have to run to my summer semester orientation.

That is all.

FUCK YOU FRONTIER

2009-03-10T21:36:00.001-07:00

Especially you, nasty ducking dipshit asshole at the gate who closed
the door despite your superior and fellow ticket agents saying to let
us on (although they weren't exactly in a hurry to be helpful either).

So now I'm sitting in an airport bar drinking margaritas because if I
weren't I'd probably be defacing Frontier property and getting arrested.

See, if it was our fault it'd be one thing. But it's not. It's theirs.
They were the ones who somehow didn't ticket us, their passengers and
couldn't figure it out in time to get us on the plane. Even though we
had a reservation, a confirmation number, seats an a itinerary and a
receipt. The customer service woman had the gall to tell us to
arrive earlier next time this situation arises.

Oh, okay. Next time I know in advance that their system screwed up
I'll be sure to tell the captain of my connecting flight to arrive two
hours in advance so I'll have to time work this situation out.

Oh fuck all ya'll. So I'm stuck here until the next flight tomorrow at
7.

See, this is why it's dangerous to have an iPhone to blog from. No
doubt this would be much calmer if I wasn't in the heat of the
moment. Sorry. See the previous post for evidence of my anger.

Evidence of My Chilling Out

2009-03-10T21:34:00.000-07:00

A Sobering Beach Walk

2009-03-07T10:15:00.001-08:00

Drinking Down Charleston

2009-03-07T10:13:00.001-08:00

Quite literally. We made it to Charleston in time to hit the food and
wine festival going on. Since coming to the South I've been obsessed
with the food. It's part of what they're known for after all. The
festival was the perfect stop as both local wineries and distilleries
showed up but also a truckload of local restaurants who showcased
their specialties, seafood and more. The bbq crab salad was to die
for and the truffle potatoes were incredible. But who knew I'd like
the pork liver terrine? We got to try more of the local cuisine than
we ever could have in our one day there otherwise.

This was naturally accompanied by all the wine and liquor we could
handle. And then some. I found some new favorites (doubtlessly
unavailable in Utah) and will and I both got sloshed.

To counter this we spent the rest of the evening walking Broad street,
eating Indian food, and strolling the beach at sunset. It was
beautiful.

Can I just say, I love Charlotte.

Mr. Carver Would be Proud

2009-03-06T09:22:00.000-08:00

I know. It looks like I'm holding something kinda gross. In reality
it's a boiled peanut. And it's good. Who would've thought?

Doing the Charleston

2009-03-06T07:16:00.000-08:00

I'm especially excited about today; we're headed into Charelston for a
food and wine festival. I've been guaranteed some excellent seafood
out here too. It should be fun.

Which reminds me... Yesterday Will and I stopped at the Georgia
welcome center to pick up some literature. While there, Will decided
to hit the restroom where an older gentleman was using his cellphone
while at the urinal. Will washed his hands and started to use the air
dryer. It was apparently loud because the guy turned to him and said,
" Excuse me young man, can't you see I'm on the phone." To which Will
responsed, "Excuse me sir, can't you see you're on your phone while
taking a piss in a public restroom?".

That's my bf. But then he has a very valid point. Who just does that?

Southern Belles?

2009-03-06T07:02:00.000-08:00

On a quick sidenote, is this really the latest fashions in Georgia?
Catering to the old church-going southern ladies is my guess.

Riverwalk and Beyond

2009-03-06T06:56:00.000-08:00

So aftera late lunch we went into Augusta, GA. It's sort of trendy,
sort of traditional and actually really charming. According to the
random history signs we saw everywhere the city has been pretty much
ravaged between numerous floods, huge fires and wars. It's looking
good today, however.

We walked down the Riverwalk along the Savannah. Its a beautiful
landscaped path with views of the enormous homes across the rive in
the SC side.

After that we explored broad street, miraculously found where Will
used to live, enjoyed the scent of the paper mill (think dirty wet
feet) and capped the evening with tapas at The Bee's Knees. Will
discovered a Sweet Tea-ni which made him quite happy. Only in the
south do they make tea flavored vodka.

Yesterday's Lunch

2009-03-06T06:44:00.000-08:00

Let's just talk about Shealy's in Leesville for a moment. It's famous
around those parts; it looks like a converted church dining hall inside
(complete w/ scripture of the day); requires you to wash your hands
while in line; and has the best BBQ ever.

I've never had mustard based BBQ before. It's awesome. Seriously. I'm
sad things like this haven't caught on in the west. So far the food
has yet to disappoint me.

Revolutionary

2009-03-05T09:29:00.000-08:00

Today things are already looking greener in NC. The freak snow storm
that dumped on them before we arrived is melting away into deep greens
and thick forested underbrush. It makes me sad that Utah is so
woefully short on wooded areas. Yeah, I know it's a desert. And yeah I
know we like to over-develop anything along I-15 and have no respect
for open spaces or anything that doesn't turn a profit... But I digress.

Anyway we filled yesterday with visits to Eljon, a city containing
Will's best childhood memories, seeing faces from his past and
reminiscing. Sesquicentennial State Park was particularly beautiful
and Will pointed out the numerous magnolia trees and palmettos the
area is known for.

We finished the day in Camden, oldest inland city in SC and the site
of British occupation during the Revolution. It was dusk when we
stumbled on the Kershaw House, where the British commanders set up
their headquarters for the area. It was closed but interesting and
beautiful nonetheless.

Today we're off to Augusta after a brief stop at Shealy's for some
hardcore BBQ. So far my only regret is that Carowinds is closed until
April. Alas.

Fried Goodness

2009-03-04T10:57:00.001-08:00

Sweet Tea

2009-03-04T10:55:00.001-08:00

Southern Cookin

2009-03-04T10:53:00.000-08:00

Will swears by this place. And I have to admit it was pretty damn good. Let's be honest, isn't food part of what the south does?

Welcome to Dirty South

2009-03-04T09:17:00.000-08:00

Today is my first official day in the South. I've never been here and
thus I will be blogging it because I'm thrilled by the cultural
variances. My only previous exposures have been an abrasive bartender
I worked with, three hours in the Atlanta airport on a layover, and of
course Will an his family.

Already I've encountered a different mentality, a strange (and oddly
sincere) politeness that Utahns surely don't posess. Will's accent
continues to get thicker and I tried sweet tea for the first time.

It's amazing how different people and places can be within one
country. Admittedly a large country, but still.

Loves Toy China Buys Great!

2009-02-21T22:02:00.000-08:00

Ah, there's nothing quite like cheap, lead-based Chinese toys to make one feel proud about being American and having access to such an assortment of imported non-quality items. On a recent whim, I went to the VF Outlets in Draper. They're in a sad way these days; few stores with even fewer offerings, unless you're in the market for air soft guns or turquoise jewelry (although it's hit or miss when the woman sets up her rug in the mall hall to serve up the finest indian inspired stone trinkets). But amidst this decaying and fairly worthless structure is the Toy Liquidator.

Usually these contain all the KB Toys cast offs that didn't sell back in 1995 and certainly aren't going to sell now. This particular incarnation, however, contained all the Chinese junk toys a person (albeit a person with little money or little taste) could ever desire. Because these toys are cheap, in ever sense of the word.

In the quest to keep these beauties low cost, much has been sacrificed - most noticeably a bilingual marketing team. Which is why I couldn't resist this plethora of Chinese-to-English-Dictionary merchandising.

Who doesn't love a Handpick Playset? My only question is where/what a Ferity is? Is it near the Caribbean?

Whatever you do, dear god provide against the children!

Pretty sure this sends the right message to kids about law enforcement.

And my personal favorite. Both the description of this toy truck and the truck itself are priceless.

So children, in conclusion buy Chinese. It's a cheap laugh. And you might die from the paint.

Disturbed.

2009-02-11T12:00:00.000-08:00

So if you misspell my blog address, by simply switching the p and s in blogspot, you get a rather disturbing website, the likes of which my little rants could never compete with. Take a look:

Onceamurderer.blogpsot.com

In other news, i will update this shortly. I know I never got to the rest of the movies I saw at Sundance, but they were by and large good films. Although Push, the winner of the Jury Prize in the Dramatic competition left me thoroughly ready to cut myself. It was excellent and SO depressing.

Anyway, I can't linger because I have more exciting things to discuss. Like my costume designs for Isabelle in the play Ring Around the Moon. Everyone knows I make costumes, for parties, murder mysteries, and for plain ol' fun. But now I get to design for an actual production. More on this to come, but to suffice it to say, I'm excited by how it's turning out. So far.

Not Alone

2009-02-01T11:41:00.001-08:00

Apparently there's other geeks out there. Driving mini-vans.

Fashionably Forward

2009-01-28T11:13:00.000-08:00

Lest I keep putting it off, I am now going to present, for your viewing pleasure, a summary and brief review of one more Sundance film I saw. This is because I have other topics I wish to blog on, but can't allow myself to until I deliver the promised goods of my festival experience. Here is yet another, dear friends.

The September Issue

The premiere kick off of the festival and possibly one of my favorites of the few I saw. It's a documentary that focuses on the creation of the prestigious September issue of Vogue magazine, highlighting the workings (and business relationship) of editor-in-chief, Anna WIntour, and creative director Grace Coddington. For those not in the know, Anna Wintour is considered one of the most powerful and influential women in fashion. She is also nicknamed the Ice Queen, and known for being a a cold and stand-offish bitch. Meryl Streep's character in The Devil Wears Prada is reportedly based off of Wintour.

The film didn't disappoint. She is a fascinating personality, completely capable of sending even the most powerful and self-assured designers into quivering fits of terror. The exchange with Yves St. Laurent was particularly memorable as he attempted to convince her that his fall line of blacks is actually very colorful when it becomes apparent she isn't interested in dark or brooding looks for upcoming issue. Watching her boredom in meetings with extremely influential people, or her ability to take away and turn conversations into exactly what she wants them to be was truly riveting. And yes, she certainly had her moments in which she coldly admonished subordinates and peers alike. The staff at Vogue are walk on egg shells, constantly in fear of her decisions.

Its not entirely without reason, either. While she can be frightening, Wintour also weilds ungodly power. In one excellent segment she takes a no-name beginning designer who won a small local contest and, simply by recommending him to a few choice individuals, elevates him to star status. In a matter of weeks after their meeting, his picture is plastered across NYC, he is the toast of parties and his designs are in huge demand. Such is the power of Anna Wintour, and why despite her occasional cold streak people are desperate to appease her.

To be frank, the woman eats, sleeps and breathes her magazine and uses it to mold the entire fashion world. The film is filled with gems that have you squirming, such as when a photographer ignores her requests on a photo shoot and the aftermath as Wintour discovers it. But the real enjoyment comes from watching the interaction between Grace Coddington and Ms. Wintour. Both came to Vogue at the same time, but often clash in their ideas. Anna is the editor, the slasher, and the eye that makes the final product work. Grace, on the other hand, is a creative type who whips up incredible images and infuses beauty and art into every piece she does.

Her 1920's flapper shoot is particularly impressive.

Grace is the one person who has little fear of Anna, and even enjoys goading her on at times. There isn't a whole lot of love lost between the two, but the need for each other is clear. At one point, after seeing all of their difficulties with the other's opinions and work methods, it is nice to see both acknowledge how talented the other is at their respective job. All in all, the film is a fun and unique look into the fashion world, and even more into the figures who shape it.

See it. And feel bad about your wardrobe.

Great Depression

2009-01-26T22:47:00.001-08:00

We just finished watching Push (not the Dakota Fanning trash coming
out). And its safe to say that we're all under a haze after seeing it.

The movie was powerful and incredibly, incredibly, depressing. This
was our follow up to the documentary film about Afghan Star, a Middle
Eastern equivelant to American Idol. Only you can get shot by the
Taliban for participating in their version.

All in all it was a worthwhile evening, if a total downer too. More
on this when I'm feeling a little less somber.

Afghan Pop and Incest

2009-01-26T20:35:00.000-08:00

Currently waiting for the Best of Fest at sundance, winners of the doc
and dramatic categories.

Ever feel like beating random strangers? This one's for you.

2009-01-24T10:17:00.000-08:00

Violence! Senseless Violence! So Will and I saw an entry in the dramatic competition entitled Bronson. The blurb in the Sundance guide made it sound interesting: a criminal who believes himself an artist, learns to make violence his craft and perfect it into an art.

In theory, it sounds really disturbing and strange. I could think of a million interesting things to do with this synopsis were I making the film. True to the nature of the Sundance guidebook, the movie you see is rarely the same thing they explained to you. That can go either way of course, some of the worst sounding films turned out indeed to be the best. And I'm sad to report that this movie just didn't make the grade.

The story focuses on Charlie Bronson (not the actor, although that is where he pulled his pseudonym from), a british man with few if any morals who spends his time beating people up in prison. And loves it. The narrative unfolds partially through seeing the action, but also through a series of "stage performances" in which the actor tells his story to group of tux clad theater-goers. These departures are enlivened with Bronson's unique whiteface or playing multiple characters ala-Harvey-Dent-style make up. It is an interesting effect, and I was willing, even excited to go with it . Oh, and it's based on Britain's most violent/notorious incarcerated inmate, the real Charlie Bronson. What could make a more interesting film?

Here are my problems. First, and perhaps a minor detail: A story concerning one of the most violent men in the UK prison system, particularly a story about a man who defines himself by violence should be... violent. Honestly. I wanted this movie to make me uncomfortable, have to look away, make me shudder at the horror. Perhaps I expected a little more Clockwork Orange or some American History X curbing, but the violence was fairly generic, bloodless punching and beating that looked all a little too staged.

Look, I'm not into gratuitous violence. I'm not wild about seeing graphic violence. But I think violence serves a purpose and can prove a point; it is one of many tools a screenwriter can use to convey the message. The ritualistic attacks in this film however, struck me as unremarkable, which is unfortunate. How can you showcase this character's personality if you don't offer what he is capable of. In many ways he is a monster. But we are denied that monster in most respects, and by the end when he kidnaps and holds hostage a character that we might feel sympathetic for, I found myself actually hoping Bronson would viciously hurt the victim, if only so I could then feel justified in being shocked by him. And I was disappointed.

This leads into my second and more vital argument. The character never went anywhere. And this, for any story, but especially where the narrative completely revolves around a character, spells certain doom. At first Bronson seems interesting, mysterious and you're trying to figure out why he does what he does. The film doesn't give us this psychology and worse yet, allows Bronson to remain static throughout the film. He is the same person at the end as the beginning growing neither better nor worse in response to his situations.

That makes for boring cinema. The last third of the movie I simply stared at the screen, Wagner blaring over images of him taking on the the guards for the umpteenth time, and couldn't help but be disinterested. More of the same. It's just more of the same. It felt like the secondary characters were more developed than the film's namesake. Characters need story arcs. Even if the individual fails, or you want to present a character who embodies senseless violence for no particular reason. There still needs to be something for the audience to work with. Watching the first five minutes of this film is about all you need. You've then seen the end too - all the information about Charlie Bronson you're going to get.

Bronson make me want to commit acts of violence. On the filmmaker. Okay, it wasn't Midnight Meat Train awful, but it fell flat and that such a dull film was made about such an potentially interesting subject is disappointing.

Waiting for Phillip Morris

2009-01-21T11:24:00.000-08:00

This is us, sitting anxiously in anticipation of Ewan McGregor kissing... Jim Carrey? Alright its odd and believe me the movie was even more wild than that might sound. I Love you Phillip Morris was factually based, at least in part. And the notion that if even part of this story is true is seriously fascinating.

It focused on Carrey's character, a newly outed gay man who discovers his lifestyle is far too expensive to maintain on his current salary and becomes a conman to pay for it. After getting caught, he winds up in prison where he meets the love of his life, Phillip. The extreme schemes and measures which ensue to make sure they can be together are both clever and hilarious. It's safe to say that we all enjoyed it and the audience around us did as well.

The style is humorous, but treats the emotional side with gravity. And as for the "whole gay thing," well I'm happy to report that while central to the story there is little time wasted on the inner conflict concerning the move to that lifestyle. Maybe that sounds callous, but if you watch any sort of gay cinema, 95% are about the coming of age/coming to terms/experimentation with homosexuality. Yes, it is a huge issue for any gay person, and there are exceptional films out there. But I don't have patience for the mass of confusing, poorly written and acted excuses to see boys kiss.

On the flip side, I really don't care for the stock stereotypes that many other movies and television shows dredge up. Maybe it fills a diversity quota but it also doesn't fairly represent a complex human being who happens to be gay. I'm sure any other minority feels the same about their own media representation. Essentially, it is a breathe of fresh air to see a character like Carrey's who is simply head over heels in love, and the illicit means by which he runs his life in order to find happy. Carrey never plays him as just a stereotype. My only complaint is that after the prison scenes, McGregor slips into the background slightly. Though always the motivation for the main characters actions, I missed seeing him as an integrated part of his life. It was assumed (which is workable on our part) but not as often displayed.

All in all it's a funny, tender, and slightly sad film worth your time. No doubt this will receive wider release, Sundance just being its first stop so I recommend that you see it. Assuming you can deal with Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor having sex.

Sundancing

2009-01-19T11:25:00.001-08:00

Well, it's my favorite time of year again. Or for the moment. At least, until other favorite times of year show up. Ah yes, that magical ten days of freezing cold, pretentious wannabe art snobs, affluent assholes who desperately want to be "seen," celebrity gawkers (suck it, EW), and of course, films.

What? They show movies at Sundance? I thought it was a big excuse to see famous people (and people who mistakenly think they're famous people) wandering the snowy streets of a random ski town in Utah. And lots of alcohol-infused parties.

It is, of course, all these things and more. But to be completely honest, the celebrity access buzz that common folk hunger for drives me absolutely batty. Whenever I tell coworkers or acquaintances I attended, the intial question out-of-the-gate is, "Who did you see?" How about what did I see? Honestly, its a film festival, but locals seem to forget that in the glamor of actors and actresses private jetting their way to Mo-mo land and demanding free snowboarding equipment.

Now I also realize that Sundance is hardly as independent as many festivals these days, having slipped more into the commercial realm with each passing year. But that said, it does provide many cinematic experiences which aren't the traditional Hollywood formula, and for that I am grateful. We don't get a huge amount of independent flicks here in Utah, though God knows the Salt Lake Film Society tries (credit where it is due and all that). Having a festival like Sundance available to those interested in film in this cultural wasteland is an unquestionable boon. It is consistently a fun grab bag of quality, experimentation, and non-traditional narratives and documentaries which just make my pulse quicken in excitement.

Film festivals and independent films are film as it should exist - without giant studios standing over the artist demanding the addition of a fuzzy lovable animal, as research has indicated it will improve marketability by 3%. The majority are movies that are made out of the love for film and its power to be art and express ideas or points of views that are part of the human condition. This is why Sundance is one of my favorite times of year.

As such, I would never want to read all 2 faithful readers of this blog out in the cold Park City air, and will report briefly on each film I see. I'm already behind, having seen three with more on the way, so I will try to catch up today. In the meantime re-arrange your schedule and plan to attend next year.

Midnight Meat Train-Wreck

2008-12-28T10:27:00.001-08:00

I've heard of movies being released in theaters. I've heard of movies being released straight to DVD. Usually these are the sub-par selections however and come with a certain connotation concerning it's viewing pleasure. This is not to say that all movies released in theaters are decent of course. I've seen my share of awful films while sitting in a darkened cinema (**cough The Strangers... Alexander... cough**). The latter experience is of course worse in some ways as my defense against bombarding cinematic expression of a lousy caliber is to mock it senselessly. With others. Out loud. Okay, talking in a theater is generally a cardinal sin. I can't stand people discussing a movie while said movie is playing. But sometimes, there's just no other way to survive, quite figuratively.

In an interesting twist, the movie Midnight Meat Train did neither of these things. In our area at least, the film came straight to the dollar theater. Apparently of wasn't bad enough for dvd, or perhaps they'd already advertised it and couldn't back off a release. Either way it deinotely wasn't good enough for a full priced ticket.

Luck would have it that I didn't pay to watch it, thus the only thing lost was a little piece of my soul. We saw it on demand, with a nice little intro from Clive Barker, the director. Barker, of Hellraiser fame, was obviously aware of the terrible reviews as he issued a disclaimer, "I really am proud of this movie..." He said it as though one would find such a statement hard to believe. And after watching Meat Train, I truly do find that hard to believe.

The plot, such as it was, may have been bizarre and ridiculous, bit that didn't stop it being predictable as well. If half the thought that went into the gore effects (my favorite was the wife running from the butcher only to slip on her husbands eyeball) was applied to the script the movie just might have palatable. Maybe.

I'm sorry, did I say the plot was predictable? It was except for the creatures. Yes the creatures sideswiped the film like that asshole student driver who forgets to check his blindspots.

So you follow a creepy killer with disturbing growths (which, FYI he cuts off and saves in jars) who mercilessly butchers people and Oh Shit! We need and end to this movie, what if these monsters live in the subway tunnel and to keep them from overunning the earth the killer feeds them these people, all in about the last 5 minutes of the movie.

Are we even watching the same film? Are we?

I'm sorry if I ruined this movie for you, but then again, I didn't. This movie ruined this movie for you. It was such a disturbing experience, I can only recommend that everyone see this film immediately. Then you too can lose a little more of your soul.

Posted with LifeCast

Konicted to his kanooder

2008-12-21T16:49:00.001-08:00

Sunday dinner is always a good time at my parents house. Truth be told it's kinda daunting to outsiders since it is mainly spent with all of us being funny at the expense of everyone else. This meal however was spent with colin and I using our iPhones through the whole meal. This phone has the power to change you in ways you've never dreamed of. Mostly a loss of friends and vision as you stare for countless hours at a small but beautiful screen.

It's worth the sacrifice.

Oh, and the post title comes from my mother's less than eloquent yelling at us for ignoring human contact.

iAccquisition

2008-12-19T08:54:00.001-08:00

Alright, so I look like I just woke up. Whatever. Maybe I did. You don't know.

Anyway, Christmas came early this year. And thanks to the BF, I am now the proud owner of an iPhone 3g (in classy, Dark-as-My-Soul-Black). I admit I've garnered a slight addiction to technology. Particularly fun technology. So naturally, with my love of my mac combined with all the cool stuff one can do with an iPhone, I've been lusting after these babies for a while. I haven't stopped playing with it since I got it. In fact, I can post to this blog with it. Which I am. And you are now going to receive even more frequent updates than ever before! Although they may also be significantly more lame. Like a random picture of somebody I see and can't help wondering "Did you really go outside like that?" Now I can share it with everyone! Happy day!

So if my blog devolves into a slush pool of wardrobe critiques or bagels that look like the Blessed Mother... apologies in advance.

(Oh, and P.S. thanks to you hombres who are following me. As a reward, you've secured yourself a place in my will. I needed someone to give all my My Little Ponies to...)

Finals and Followers

2008-12-16T09:12:00.000-08:00

Finals are extremely... busy. In conclusion, I will update and post more soon. I just need to survive this week.

Oh, while we're on the subject (or not) I'm going to heed the instructions and tell you: you should follow my blog. Just click on the link on the side and join the misery. Everyone's doing it. Besides if you don't I'll have to remove the gadget so I don't look lame for only having two followers (although they are two awesome followers, of course). Don't think I won't.

Darwinian Theory meets Personal Taste

2008-12-06T23:06:00.000-08:00

It occurs to me that, in the last while, most of these entries haven't been thought-provoking in the extreme. To celebrate this fact, I am adding one more post before I move on to darker contemplations.

Everyone has crushes on celebrities. Its inevitable, really, since all our media does is attempt to turn average people into incredibly beautiful, bigger-than-life sex icons (usually riddled with personal problems, though that's another blog). I certainly have some of my own. To name a few, more traditional ones:

or

But more interesting than the typically revered are the bizarre choices. People you find yourself attracted to on an individually preferential basis, often mystifying others, and sometimes yourself, as to why. Hang-ups aside, I believe everyone also have these... inclinations to oddities. How else do you justify some of the characters in this world finding spouses?

Thus tonight I present, for your viewing pleasure, a couple of my less traditional infatuations:

Neil Patrick Harris. I'm pretty sure I have a minor crush on him. Which is weird... maybe. Perhaps its the down-to-earth, do-gooder thing. I don't know.

A second runner in this category... Mr. Anderson Cooper.

He's just so darn knowledgeable. And really sports the silver hair thing well, considering he's in his early 40's.

And there you have it folks, my light-on-intellect fare for today. Though naturally this post begs the question:

Who are your weird crushes?

More Inside Geekdom

2008-11-25T12:38:00.000-08:00

Jeff, in my screenwriting class complimented me on my ghetto-tastic "Jason Todd" shirt I wore to school once. I do believe he's one of the only people who understands the reference. Well, the shirt was entertaining, but starting to fall to pieces, so when my costuming crafts class decided to explore screen printing, it was the perfect time to revamp.

Here's the new version (never mind that I look stoned in this picture). I'm not going to explain what it means. And since he appreciated the first version, this post is for you Jeff.

For Those of You Who Care...

2008-11-23T19:28:00.001-08:00

I finally got around to watching Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog.

And loved it.

I told someone once that I wasn't one of those freaks who desperately worship everything Joss Whedon does... And I still don't think I am. But he sure can put some fun stuff out there. My fandom grows...

Watch it: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

Mission Complete!

2008-11-20T11:04:00.000-08:00

Well that's one less project to worry about.

The jacket is finally finished. I patterned it, created the designs which Colin helped me screen print and sewed the thing together. I wanted something that spoke of creativity, and in the end it's a slightly different jacket with a very draft-sketch feel. The "notes" scattered on the grid are actually quotes from various authors and artists about art.

Voila! I love the lining. And side zipper.

That long quote on the back is from Kerouac, a personal hero. All in all, not bad for a first attempt at creating my own pattern.

As Stephanie Yanez would say... "How do I look?"

Oh Stephanie Yanez. I could do an entire blog on her. But I won't. Instead, I'll just add it to this one and tell you that if you don't know who she is, you really really haven't ever lived. And by lived I mean discovered the one of the most annoying web personalities out there. Imagine a whiney six year old. You know that voice they make when pouting? Now put that voice on a twenty-something girl, and imagine it is keeping you up to date on all the anime and cosplay stuff you crave to know about. You just thought about Stephanie.

Enjoy this: And stay tuned for the rap midway through. Simply genius.

Anyone else want to join her fan group with me?

Think Torchwood is Hiring?

2008-11-17T21:15:00.000-08:00

You know - and I know - that I'm a geek. It just happened somewhere along the road in my 26 years of life. But I'm also at a point to appreciate that everyone, in one way or another, is also a geek. My sister and I used to be the biggest Trekkies growing up. And while many wouldn't, and might not still admit it, I'm surprised how many others out there enjoyed the same guilty pleasure. You couldn't fess up such things in high school though.

I've long since left that high school micro-verse where people are relegated to a role and a function in the social structure and pretty much stuck with it.

Thank god I'm done with high school.

Besides, a lot of loser-ish things turn vogue when you're older. Like intelligence. Or video games. Or 80's inspired apparel, although that's not my favorite, unless done in a unobtrusive way. Subtlety counts for something too.

Anyway, I'm probably a bigger dork now, though definitely one with no shame about it. Luckily I think I'm also a bit more of a sophisticated dork; that is, I appreciate a more artistic aspect of dorkdom. I think. That might be self delusion. The reason I bring this up is because I just finished watching season two of Torchwood.

A BBC series, and in fact a spin off of Doctor Who. I know what you're thinking if you've ever seen the old series. This was an update and renewal of the cult-followed original series. I was turned off by the corniness of the old one, but have come to love the newest incarnation. It may be aimed at a younger audience, and thus rather innocent, but it is too much fun to be ignored either. And while I discovered Torchwood first, and became instantly hooked, I moved slowly into Doctor Who because of my former prejudice with the old show.

Both of them compliment each other, but Torchwood drops a lot of the camp and takes a much darker and much more adult tone. There is something that resonates with me, and a strange unease that I can't shake from the bleak outlook the show has - people saving a world that is problematic, unappreciative, and hopeless. The characters are fantastic, screwed up, and a little too realistic at times for such an odd Sci-Fi and drama hybrid. The writing is superb and witty. I can't lie: I'm a total geek for this show.

I'm finished gushing. Watch it if you're remotely interested. What I am amazed by, however, is how different the British narrative is than traditional U.S. stuff. Firstly, american audiences are apparently into the spectacle when it comes to genre pieces. The focus for something in the science fiction realm tends to be all the digital imagery, usually hinged on some interesting, but hardly encompassing idea. A show like Torchwood eschews favoring the special effects (which are not bad, but oft-times obviously digital) instead bringing the human dynamic to the forefront. Imperfect characters surviving both physically and emotionally in an imperfect world are the crux of the series. They just happen to also fight aliens. Episodes almost always comment upon the state of humanity, as well as assess the mistakes and the divinities of individuals.

I might nod to those that enjoyed Buffy the Vampire Slayer series (of which I am a recent convert). While not exactly the same, the writing is in the same vein.

I also have to say, because it is impossible not to if you read any reviews of the series, that the show is progressive, if nothing else, in its approach to sexuality. Whereas Doctor Who barely even broaches the subject, it falls at the forefront of Torchwood. These characters are almost pansexual, particularly one character who is interested in anything he finds attractive - men, women, or alien alike. The brits aren't afraid to show anything, and treat all manners of sexuality as nothing shocking or abnormal. The people in this show - and apparently the makers of it - have moved to a future that is quite comfortable with itself in *ahem* any sexual position. Its refreshing to see, when most networks and programs in the U.S. are mortified of alienating audiences and therefore pander to the lowest common demographic of acceptance and tolerance. As if we can't appreciate anything if its not served up in a perfect, discriminatorily correct, My Name is Earl fashion. Taboos are fine in American television, as long as its the right taboos. Extreme violence, graphic straight sex, and mostly stereotypic gay or even ethnic characters.

I know that no country is perfect, but I am impressed with other nations' social progress compared to our own in some ways. We seem to be on the shorter end of that stick. At any rate, I'm sad that I now have to wait for season 3, a season which is to be more a mini-series than anything. Alas, something is better than nothing.

In the meantime, maybe Torchwood is hiring. I could use an exciting, encompassing, likely-to-kill-you-at-a-young-age day job.

What the hell is wrong with you people?

2008-11-14T08:21:00.000-08:00

Do I just sound angry in all of these blogs? I guess that's what inspires me to write. I could probably start an entire blog, updated hourly, with things that annoy me. Someone else out there probably already has though. Alas. Maybe I should post some happier tidings. That's it, from now on (or at least today), I will try to counter balance my irritation with something positive that exists in the world. That's an easy enough concession.

Today's Annoyance: Next door neighbors in your apt complex, who are nice, but decide to hang pictures on the wall they share with your bedroom. At 8:00 in the morning, when you're pretty sure you wanted to sleep in.

Who hangs pictures at 8:00 in the morning! And she must have been doing a serious collage because it went on for 40 minutes!! They're nice, don't get me wrong, but there's part of me that thinks I need to hang some pictures too, at 2:00 am.

We have weird neighbors, for the record, on all sides. There's the new couple upstairs with a dog who are frightfully unfriendly. Or our downstairs neighbor, an older lady who will talk to you until you're emaciated and near death, should you stop for a split second to listen. Our other upstairs neighbors we occasionally hang out with, although then I get the pleasant task of cleaning up the vomit she passed out in when the drink flows a little too liberally...

My favorites are the other girls that live below us, who never leave their house except to work. And they have to work. How else can they afford the constant stream of Target and Amazon boxes that arrive at their house? I'm not joking either; every single day there is a new stack of 5-6 boxes dropped on their doorstep. Where do they put it all? I imagine maybe it's clothing, but truthfully, have no idea what they could still be ordering at this point. Perhaps they just ask for one of everything.

And now you know about our neighbors. Won't you be my neighbor?

As a child, I think I was too innocent to notice how creepy King Friday is. Just as a thought.

Okay. Enough negativity. Now for a positive aspect of our world...

Frozen Margaritas!

A universe that came up with these can't be all bad, right? And even if it is, just load yourself up on these babies and you won't have to think about it.

Marriage Potentially De-sanctified!

2008-11-12T12:36:00.000-08:00

My friend Julie wrote a blog entry a while back about gay marriage and Prop 8 in California. Personally I think Prop 8 will one day be removed, as attitudes for social justice continue to improve and all the religious fear-mongers are drowned by the voice of reason. Hopefully it isn't that far off.

In the meantime, I find the argument that the church and many "moralists" use a pretty weak crutch. The idea that allowing gays to marry someone they love is "destroying the sanctity of marriage" is completely absurd. Straight people have destroyed the sanctity of marriage for ages, not to mention marriage hasn't always been such a celebrated union between two willing people. Where was the sanctity in all the political marriages, slave-wives of conquered nations, or harems of days gone by? The notion that it has always been some lofty and beautiful thing is not true. And to be honest, I know some downright ugly marriages existing today. Let's face it, gays and lesbians marrying is just a threat to the patriarchal system we've had in place since the dawn of men-as-insecure-animals.

And really, if me marrying a man threatens your marriage, you've got bigger problems in your relationship to work out.

Anyway, there is an older Onion article (god bless the Onion) which I think parodies the irrational thinking of so many people on this subject. Since its hard to find, I'll just present the thing here, in my blog:

Massachusetts Supreme Court Orders All Citizens to Gay Marry
Feb 25, 2004
From The Onion

February 25, 2004-Justices of the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court ruled 5-2 Monday in favor of full, equal, and mandatory gay marriages for all citizens. The order nullifies all pre-existing heterosexual marriages and lays the groundwork for the 2.4 million compulsory same-sex marriages that will take place in the state by May 15.

"As we are all aware, it's simply not possible for gay marriage and heterosexual marriage to co-exist," Massachusetts Chief Justice Margaret H. Marshall said. "Our ruling in November was just the first step toward creating an all-gay Massachusetts."

Marshall added: "Since the allowance of gay marriage undermines heterosexual unions, we decided to work a few steps ahead and strike down opposite-sex unions altogether."

Marshall said the court's action will put a swift end to the mounting debate.

"Instead of spending months or even years volleying this thing back and forth, we thought we might as well just cut to the eventual outcome of our decision to allow gay marriages," Marshall said. "Clearly, this is where this all was headed anyway."

The justices then congratulated the state's 4.8 million marriage-age residents on their legally mandated engagements.

The court issued the surprise order in response to a query from the Massachusetts Senate over whether Vermont-style civil unions, which convey the state-sanctioned benefits of marriage but not the title, are constitutional.

"If the history of our nation has demonstrated anything, it's that separate is never equal," Marshall said. "Therefore, any measure short of dismantling conventional matrimony and mandating the immediate homosexual marriage of all residents of Massachusetts would dishonor same-sex unions. I'm confident that this measure will be seen by all right-thinking people as the only solution to our state's, and indeed America's, ongoing marriage controversy."

Marshall then announced her engagement to Holyoke kindergarten teacher Betsy Peterson, a pairing that had been randomly generated by computers in the census office earlier that day.

Those who don't choose to marry in private will be married in concurrent mass ceremonies at Fenway Park, Gillette Stadium, and the Boston Convention and Exposition Center. Any citizen who is not gay-married or is still in an illegal heterosexual relationship after that date will be arrested and tried for non-support.

Hundreds of confused but vocal protesters lined the street outside the statehouse Monday night, waving both American and rainbow flags. Their chants, which broke out in pockets up and down the street, included, "Hey hey, ho ho, homophobia's got to go, but frankly, this is fucked up" and "Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, but not Adam and Some Random Guy." Others held signs that read, "On Second Thought, Boston Christians Are Willing To Consider A Compromise."

According to police reports, demonstrators were vocal but orderly.

"The unholy union of people of the same gender destroys the only type of romantic love sanctioned by Our Lord in Heaven: the love between a man and a woman," 54-year-old protester Rose Shoults said. "Me and my new partner Helene are going to fry in hell."

The much-anticipated order sets the stage for Massachusetts' upcoming constitutional convention, where the state legislature will consider an amendment to legally define marriage as a union between two members of the same gender. Without the order, Rep. Michael Festa said the vote, and his personally dreaded wedding to House Speaker and longtime political opponent Thomas Finneran, would be delayed.

"This is a victory, not only for our state, but for America," Festa said. "Simply allowing consenting gay adults the same rights as heterosexuals was never the point. By forcing everyone in the state into a gay marriage, we're setting the stage for our more pressing hidden agendas: mandatory sodomy and, in due time, the legalization of bestiality and pedophilia."

Massachusetts has one of the highest concentrations of gay households in the country, at 1.3 percent, according to the 2000 census. Under the new laws, the figure is expected to increase by approximately 98.7 percentage points.

Compare and Contrast

2008-11-11T16:44:00.001-08:00

I just finished watching Semper Fi, again.

For some reason it hasn't made it to DVD yet, but luckily as a Showtime production they keep throwing it randomly around on their station. I encourage you to watch it, though that could prove difficult without said channel.

Semper Fi is a documentary on Jeff Keys, a marine and all-american good ol' boy who just happens to be gay. Its a fascinating look about his life, and particularly his service in Iraq. There's a lot to the piece. Its filled to the brim with Keys thoughts and observations, both in journal and video form, about patriotism, politics, love, humanity and what it means to be different. It mixes well the course our country is on, our social progress and the firsthand account of how people are affected by our nation - both those invaded by it and those who call it home. I highly recommend it.

But that's not the main point I wanted to make. I was flipping around the channels and stumbled on another program - one I've heard so much about and until this point hadn't witnessed. That's right, I discovered the incredible Paris Hilton My New BFF. Just in case you haven't heard about this, Paris Hilton is apparently friendless and seeing money to be made, has her own reality show to find her a new friend. Seriously. I could take four minutes of this before I wanted to drill my eyes out.

I flipped back to Semper Fi and was struck by a contrast so enormous, I couldn't believe it. Here was an ex-Marine, who eventually left because of a prejudiced policy, discussing the unraveling of another country, humanizing the effects of war, the difficulties of being a patriotic in a society and government that reject you, and the common denominators of all mankind, from any part of the world.

Compare that with Paris, who was spouting that she was sorry, but she could only have one BFF and this girl just couldn't be it.

Seriously. Doesn't it boggle anyone's mind that there are so many more important things going on in this world than Paris Hilton and all she represents? There's nothing wrong with entertainment - and I personally believe that art can coexist with entertainment. But the fact that everyone talks about this show, and is so interested in it also tells me that we''ve lost our way.
We let the promise of money, shiny lights and power distract us from the problems that can't be solved with greed, fame or control. We're selfish, umotivated and don't want our comfortable lifestyles interrupted by things that aren't. Mindless, shallow entertainment like Paris Hilton's friendship status helps us forget exactly that.

I hope all countries are as great as this one.

Much Too Much!

2008-11-06T10:13:00.000-08:00

I'm drowning here. At least, it sure seems that way, in all the creative energy that has exploded lately. I think its time we play "What does Peter do with his leisure time?"

Let's start with this though: I hate my job. Just for the record, should you know of a job opening which involves a more satisfying and creative output than my current one, please let me know. I'm desperate.

Because I hate my job, I spend my free time in pursuits I like to refer to as "projects." I have a lot of projects, and I'm not kidding here. Too many that I'm trying to accomplish right now. And currently I think I'm sinking. I know this isn't perhaps interesting to you viewers out there (if there are any), but it is on my mind and I'm freaking out. Here's a small list, with pictures!

NaNoWriMo - quite possibly the lead weight around my ankle. I've been wanting to write a book for years now, and have the plotline mapped and everything. Its a guilty pleasure, a fantasy novel that I've constructed out of anger to the conventional fantasy running around, though mostly its birth came from some cool ideas I've worked through for far too long. It needs to be on paper. I thought this would be a good way to start it, and instead it is reminding me that perfection is unattainable when one is supposed to write 50,000 words in a month.

Costuming - I enjoy costuming. Check my facebook, myspace, or cosplay for the pictures of things I've done. Currently I'm working on:

- Judge Gabranth: a character with imposing armor from Final Fantasy XII, I couldn't help but want to make him. Some of my homies joined the fray to create some of the other characters (and collect the whole set!), but as of yet, none of us have finished. Mine is a seriously complicated fusing of sintra, leather, liquid plastics and mold-making. It'll be great. Someday.

Here's what I'm going for:

Here's where I'm at. Actually I'm farther than this, but this is the most informative picture.

- Black Mage: I got lucky enough to have an awesome costuming class in which we build chain mail, screenprint, and all sorts of random stuff. In a failed attempt to finish a halloween costume a week before, I decided a black mage from an old school game would be easy, and started making the wizard hat in class. The robes and all that have yet to come, but currently the hat is on its way and looking fantastic.

- Jacket: Screenprinting took off with me. Its really fun and has all sorts of potentials. So I dreamt up jacket and decided to make it. I drafted the pattern, created all the designs to be screenprinted onto it, and with my brother's help at his screen printing facilities, am making an awesome jacket. Here's the progress thus far:

Also:
-Designing costumes for Short Experimental Film (to be shot next semester)
-Create the latex mask from the negative I've already cast of the Valtiel face I sculpted. Don't ask.

-Finishing the Riddler Jacket
-Adding matching boot covers to the gauntlets and photographing the Ringwraith outfit

Screenplay: Its called Phoenix, it's on it's third draft, and it's a dark film my mother would never go see. I guess being raised on a steady diet of Disney and Anne of Green Gables does that to you.

Short Horror Film: Not totally updated, but we're near completion. You can at least get the back info on this from the SHit Blog, in my links.

Her Majesty's Secret Raisin Service: My roomie Amanda and I dabble in the exciting world of music. Surprisingly, it takes us longer to write songs than they show on television shows about music artists. In TV world a multi-platinum song can be whipped out in fifteen minutes, start to release party finish. Turns out in real life, its a lot harder. While our music tends to have a surreal element to it, and play with all sorts of ridiculous styles and transitions, we're getting better and you can expect that if not for Christmas, sometime in the next year you'll get a copy. And you'll love it. That is, if you want one. And you probably don't.

Murder Mysteries: I've fallen off the band wagon. I have three different ones, with three different formats I've been kicking around and want to pull out the stops with production on one for my birthday this coming year. Its a good year for murder, I think. The others were a success but I want to keep improving!

Oh and lest you think I've forgotten the documentary of the previous games, I haven't. Its in various stages of completion on my computer. The editing is a bit tough and there's far too much footage of the interviews I did to wade through. Alas... such is the price.

This is a partial list - the top of my list, list, and unfortunately not exhaustive. Its just that I have so much I want to be doing. Instead of writing this blog, for example. So if I'm slow at updating it, I apologize. Maybe I'll have more time when I quit my job and spend the next 2-3 months doing nothing but skiing and playing video games. Sounds like an ideal set up to me.

Is it just me, or are Republicans kinda gay?

2008-09-22T16:10:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to believe that this crazy right-wing agenda is all an act to throw off suspicions that the entire party is made up of self-loathing homosexuals with unusual and disturbing tastes for prostitutes, public anonymous sexual exploits and the illegally young. A group that is unsympathetic with pretty much anyone.

Let's be honest, I might be gay but that doesn't make me a pervert. The unintelligent and uninformed associate homosexuality with pedophilia and regard it as a dark, slippery slope to bestiality. Of course, this is the argument from the moral right. Perhaps these notions are submitted because the people making them are they themselves harboring said sexual deviance. It only makes sense that if your secret desires are horrific in nature, then perhaps you should make scapegoats of the normal, well adjusted homosexuals who want to be treated like actual human beings.

So maybe the prejudice is a based in a fear of discovery for sick appetites. But what about the ones who are just... gay. Self-hating gay, but just gay? For starters, there's the problem of money. Consider religious leaders, even the ones not molesting young boys. Oft times, religion = money, and if you're making all sorts of cash at the expense of worshippers who desperately need something to cling to, its best not to reveal yourself as the very type you're preaching hellfire and damnation against.

But let's not forget politics, money's Bonnie to its Clyde. Apparently money paired with power breeds a complete lack of self respect, self decency, and perhaps a soul. How much does your own self worth as a human being cost? I'm speaking about all the closeted and outed homosexuals alike who are willing to play the wrong side of the political game, working to damn their own equality for their own personal gain. The likes of George W. Bush's campaigners who helped craft his values-oriented, anti-gay spin during his campaign run, for example. Or even more aptly, McCain's Chief of Staff, Marc Buse. Mr. Buse was "outed" today by a former boyfriend, more of whom have come forward after this initial confession. The funny thing is that Marc Buse is already out to his friends, his family, even to his presidential hopeful and anti-gay advocate John McCain. In fact they've worked together for the past 20 years. What a friend indeed.

Ah the irony! Helping a man into office who emphatically rejects any attempts to equalize your status in this country! Fantastic! When Ms. Palin finds out, there might be a emergency De-gayification at her church, which I believe involves rousing activities like hunting moose. I can't help but wonder what the crazy right think about this...

Maybe, just maybe, there's a problem with all the bullshit this current, out-of-control republican party incarnation is feeding people. They talk a big extremist fight, and time and time again show their true colors as something else entirely. But then, what shade of hypocrisy does it take to shake people and wake them up to the lies they're being sold? Alas, the curse of being this kind of supporter is that many can't see the light amidst all the divine enlightenment. These days, the republican party mantra has become "Go Zealot or Go Home (to your terrorist hideout with Osama)!"

Anyway, I got a bit tangential for a moment there. In all, I just wanted to thank some of (certainly not all, there's too many and many more to come) the individuals who helped me write this blog:

Troy King, Attorney General of Alabama
Mark Foley, U.S. Representative
Ted Haggard, Leader of the National Association of Evangelicals
Larry Craig, U.S. Senator and Senate Liason for Mitt Romney’s Presidential Campaign
Bob Allen, Member of the Florida House of Representatives and Florida Chairman of John McCain’s Presidential Campaign
Glen Murphey Jr., National Chairman of the Young Republicans

And let's not forget

Mark Buse, John McCain's Chief of Staff in the Senate

Thanks to all who are undoing their own civil liberties and destroying this country for the rest of us as well.

An observation.

2008-09-16T20:41:00.000-07:00

I saw a homeless man yesterday, pushing his shopping cart down the desperate road of life.

I really liked his coat. I wonder where I can get one.

Why title this slag?

2008-09-11T14:24:00.000-07:00

It takes me far too long to update my blog. Its just that there are always better things to be doing, like watching Project Runway, or Torchwood. Or perhaps screenprinting ugly table linens. Or working. Yes, there's always working... blech.

It is an unfortunate thing that we must toil, doing that which we do not enjoy to support ourselves and give us the option of doing those things we do take pleasure in.

Someday, i'd like to have those realms co-exist. Or co-mingle. Or coagulate.

Anyway, i'm rambling, about nothing in particular, but just thought I'd briefly write, to remind myself that I still have a blog. And that the times I write are also the times I need to reflect on how much I have to do and how unmotivated I truly am. That's the joy of my existence. How about yours?

This entry made no sense, and I don't really care.

Thunderstruck with Clarity

2008-08-19T08:40:00.001-07:00

Conclusion I have arrived at:

People are stupid.

On Fame and Egoism

2008-08-13T23:30:00.000-07:00

Okay. I know Frank Miller has (potentially had) talent. He wrote Dark Knight Returns, for God's sake. Quite a fantastic read. And Sin City is actually pretty good.

But it seems like these days Frank's gotten a lot of money, and a lot of power. And children, we all know where that leads. It leads to an artist who really thinks he IS something. And suddenly the story isn't the important part; Frank Miller is. 300, for example, is stylish with little substance and flat characters. Indeed, Frank Miller's move from graphic novel creator to full fledged director comes with some... trepidation. Because it isn't Will Eisner's "The Spirit" anymore. He's written his name right over Eisner's. But then Frank also claims that Eisner would be making these same decisions for the movie. Really? Really?Turns out, I just don't think I love Miller has much as Miller loves Miller.

So collect yours today: The Limited Edition Frank Miller's New Improved "The Spirit"

Now with:
Sin City Visuals!!
Lots and lots of Skanky Whores!!
Lousy Ropework!
Porn!
Lack of Source Material Homage!
Samuel L. Jackson!!
And of course, Academy Award Winning Acting! Sort of.

Maybe I'll have to eat my words. We'll see. But in the meantime, enjoy this gem.

Politics & Anger in Brevity

2008-08-09T10:22:00.000-07:00

Okay, I know, I know, I haven't blogged in centuries. This is going to be a bit of a hodgepodge of ideas that are plaguing me, so bear with me. Oh, and enjoy.

So I'm a liberal. Not like you didn't know this, if you know me. But liberal or not, some things are just intolerable. I watched "No End in Sight" a few nights ago, a documentary about the Iraq war. It is very well done, lays out the facts and essentially reminds me that George W. Bush is one of the worst people we could have possibly put in office.

The sheer arrogance of his administration going into this astounds me. Despite all the information, experience and resources that weren't just available but were throwing themselves at Bush, he and his advisors did everything in their power ignore them and make consecutively poor decisions. Really, you ought to watch it; it blew my mind at how incapable our government is.

Naturally, I'm not a fan to begin with, but it is revolting how our President has blatantly (because subtly and grammar aren't exactly his forte) lied, manipulated, and cheated the american people, all for his own ends, whatever they might be. And I'm not just referring to Iraq, which has been a disaster from the get go and accomplished nothing but alienating the international community, destroying our economy, and pointlessly throwing away soldier's lives. I'm infuriated at every action he has taken in the last 8 years - from violating UN sanctions, wire tapping/spying on our own people, allowing torture, lying, supporting unconstitutional legislation, and general incompetence. It reminds me of those bumper stickers that read "If you're not angry, you're not paying attention."

The more I learn about this presidency's actions, the more irate I become. What is more horrific to me though, is that it seems like the large portion of Americans are indifferent to his misuse of power and exploitation of them. Like it doesn't affect you. The sad thing is it does, and anyone who doesn't realize their rights are being infringed upon and marginalized deserves what you get. You're a complete idiot if you're being duped by a president who isn't fit to run a retail outlet, let alone a country. There's no justification for his actions. I've been told that circumstances require some of the things he's done in light of 9-11. There's a quote by Benjamin Franklin which hits dead on, I think.

They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.

In our modern politco world it seems like we've regressed. Visionaries such as Franklin are now few and far between, and at present not running or involved in our government. Who can blame them? We've subsidized our governing powers to corporate greed and religious zealots with big checkbooks.

Considering the election, I don't know how Obama will fair if elected, though its a sure bet better than Bush. And McCain... well that's like electing Bush for a third term. The last thing we need is a 70 year old Republican in the White House.

I look back on these last 8 years, and am grateful the end is in site. The current administration needs to go. Isn't it funny how the Christian Right (including the likes of oh-so-reputable-and-self-loathing Rev. Ted Haggard) threw so much weight behind this man? Well I've got news for them:

If Pres. Bush is God's choice for leading "His" nation, then God is one fucked up son-of-a-bitch that I have no desire to meet. I'll take hell, thank you very much.

Late Night, Dark Knight

2008-07-18T09:32:00.000-07:00

Right. Like you didn't know that I would write today, since it's already apparent that Batman motivates me to action. Or at least passionate grandstanding. And sure I'm a little tired this morning; midnight shows will do that to you of course, particularly when they are nearly three hours long. But really how could I NOT write today? Really.

Before I delve into that though, this film gave me a bonus treat that I didn't expect. I sat in a darkened theater, surrounded by hundreds of die-hard, cut-throat batman freaks anxious for their first glimpse of this long expected film. I include myself in this group, squarely and appropriately attired in my "I Killed Jason Todd and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt" shirt, hurling insults like "douche bag" across my father and at a random guy in front of us who just wouldn't shut up. I'm bad in normal movies, having no qualms about displaying my irritation for other people's inconsiderate or just blatantly rude conduct. Seriously, the next cell phone I see being pulled out in a theater is gonna get smashed Get Smart style. Imagine, then, how rabid I am at the premiere of The Dark Knight. I know, it makes you never want to see a movie with me. Alas.

Anyway, the moment the Harry Potter teaser (if it even counts as that) was over, the next trailer appeared and immediately struck me. Dear god, this is Watchmen, I realized as a man is incinerated by radiation. And let me tell you, I got so excited for that film as I watched the trailer. I sincerely hope that Zack Snyder knows what he is doing with this incredible piece of work, though if the trailer is anything to go by, it certainly appears so. I'm very excited.

Which brings me to Dark Knight. Don't worry, I'm not going to spoil plot points or anything, since not everyone has seen it yet. But I will give you my impressions of what I witnessed. And let me start by saying, in an era of hack directors, even once-revered ones returning to the chair from a hiatus, and in the midst of a money-machine hollywood who can't scrape a new idea off the bottom of their shoe, it is refreshing, yes even rewarding, to see someone like Christopher Nolan make not just a first, but now a second film that captures the essence of the the source material. He did it not just successfully, which is what I'd call something like Iron Man but overwhelming and brilliantly. Nolan has managed to more than satisfy any joe off the street looking for a good film, and rabid Batman fans like myself.

From the get-go, I had faith in his directing ability. I was more nervous with Begins because while I like Nolan, I didn't know what he'd bring to the franchise. It turned out he brought a lot of innovation, faithfulness and a keen understanding of what makes these characters so intriguing and worth the seventy or so years of stories based on them. People I spoke to about the sequel were concerned it would suck, after giving us a great first film. I disagreed, even though the Heath Ledger announcement surprised me. But I had faith that it would be a great venture, and by gods, it was.

Heath Ledger was absolutely incredible as the Joker. It has been mentioned that he based his character off of the Joker in an Alan Moore (writer of Watchmen graphic novel) comic, and it is true. His performance had Killing Joke written all over it, which I assume Nolan intended since there are some very similar lines and even situations in this film to those of the book. I also noted a bit of Dark Knight Returns in the exploration of the the Batman/Joker dichotomy. All in all, Ledger has managed to put Nicholson to so much shame in his portrayal. As my father put it, "I've never seen someone play a crazy person so well. He was awful and in a strange way you liked him." It is true. My screenwriting class has often discussed character writing and props to both the script and Ledger - there isn't a minute of screen time in that the Joker doesn't occupy where you don't feel constantly on edge. They've created an incredibly frightening and unsafe character.

Alright, enough geekdom. How was the movie?

Fantastic. More than fantastic. I absolutely and unabashedly loved it and it's nice not to feel like I need to justify that. See the movie and tell me if you don't enjoy it. It is gritty; it is well crafted; it is disturbing; it is smart and it is a ride from start to finish. Even at three in the morning.

I particularly loved how dark it was - not the Tim Burton Penguin dark, but Batman dark. They played the escalation aspect, as well as the cause and reaction of the Joker and Batman rather brilliantly. The psychology of Batman, of Harvey Dent, of the Joker was there. It is an incredible thing to watch and be able to pinpoint subtle but pivotal character moments which change everyone, for better or worse. This movie gives you that; it gives you the very thing Matt Leavitt and I once discussed one mission night: grey in a world that desperately wants black and white. Nolan has created an intelligent piece that understands maddness and order, who understands the strain of undertaking the mantle of "good" in a world against you, and not simply in an over-the-top super hero sort of way.

My one concern - the revival of Rachel Dawes' character with a new actress (which is to say the Maggie Gyllenhaal is a million times better than ol' side-o-the-mouth-talking-anorexic-scientologist-katie; but I hate recurring characters who are played by different actors) - was completely taken care of. The necessity of her character returning made a lot of sense, so that eased my mind. Plus Gyllenhaal was great.

And then there's Harvey Dent.. but look, I can't explain that without going further than I should in this particular blog. Maybe a bit later. Suffice it to say, Aaron Eckhart did a great job with some moments that truly spoke to me. Really, there wasn't a weak performance in the cast (although as Will pointed out, the mayor should tone down the eyeliner). And as for Batman, in his new suit and gadgets? Well our hero has learned a lot from the last film, grows darker even during this one and frankly is just a bad ass. Just you wait and see.

Bottom line: It was incredible. Better than Batman Begins which I never expected. Way better, and since the first was really good... just go see it already.

"All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy."
-The Killing Joke, Alan Moore