The Night

"Ah, it was a fine night, a warm night, a wine-drinking night, a moony night, and a night to hug your girl and talk and spit and be heavengoing."

These quotes are almost certainly more for me than for you, although I hope there's some cross-application. But moments, words, strike me, sink deep and I must put them down lest they flutter away forever into the empty darkness of my mind. 

Blurred Landscapes

"It was embarrassing. Every single one of us was blushing. This is the story of America. Everybody's doing what they think they're supposed to do."

Views from the Road

"Dean and I are embarked on a tremendous season together.  We're trying to communicate with absolute honesty and absolute completeness everything on our minds."

On the Road by Jack Kerouac

This quote resonated deeply with me this week, particularly after that last post.  I cleave to the idea that the communication of souls, cross-legged and staring perhaps, is possible.  As such, I felt I would post it here, a lone column, a solitary ruin of my own desired temple of learned experience.  Or perhaps, more optimistically, it is a way-stone, a marker beckoning one to throw down the map and explore.  

I suppose the choice is, as always, ours.

Maudlin

Today is bringing with it a crisis of feelings.  I don't really need to bore you with all the details and dilemmas of my post-collegiate existence, but suffice it to say, I haven't really contributed much to either my own enrichment or society at large.  I wanted to take it easy after school for a couple months but all I've been successful at so far is stagnation.

So... today's question, as I've paced around the room drinking my french pressed coffee (made only on indulgent days, which are alarmingly more frequent) is how I can start merging the experiences I'd like to have with the existence I currently am gripped by.  At the moment they seem extremely far apart.

I'll tell you what I'm going to start with.  Re-reading some Kerouac.  We cleaned out some boxes yesterday and I found the copy I gave to Will years ago.   Only a few days earlier I was thinking I might need to glance through the tome again, in hopes of rewarding myself with some much needed passion and madness.  The universe might be telling me something by thrusting the book in front of me.

The things I hope to embrace in my life - the accomplishment, the experiences and adventures certainly don't favor the docile and unfortunately, that is exactly what I am right now.  Docile with a complete lack of tenacity.  Perhaps the most frightening thing about all of this is how boring of a person I feel I'm becoming.  Rather, how boring I am allowing myself to become.  

This does not bode well.

I feel like I've slowed my intake of art and culture, given up on intellectualism of any kind.  The only breather I take from such dulling is when surrounded by my friends, who are infinitely more creative, complex, insightful and enjoyable than I deserve to have.  Why can't I take their influences as catalysts?  Why do I move at such a snail's pace?

Okay, this is the very definition of maudlin.  And isn't a blog supposed to airy, light and fun?  Apologies will be handed out (much like my High School diploma) at the concession stand after the service.

UP NEXT:  Something more light and fun.  Maybe with a dash of cuteness.  Kittens perhaps?  We'll see what a google search reveals:

Yes, a stuffed turtle in ugly colors that projects a fake nighttime sky on your ceiling in various shades of illumination.  Perhaps I should've been a little more specific that I wasn't looking for an actual light, so here's a second option:

 

Admittedly I went with this only because I like snow leopards.  They're pretty much my favorite animal. Also, should you ever bring them up in my presence I will inform you that they can jump 40 feet from a standing position.  40 #*$%ing feet!  Anyway, here's a snow leopard cub.  It's cute, it has light colored fur, but it's probably only fun if you're not being viciously attacked by it's defensive mother.  I wonder how many random girls that sentence might also describe?

Now that I've made pseudo-good on my posting promises, I do hope your day is filled with projected stars and dangerous endangered animals.

Caulk Your Wagons...

I know people are worried about all the raping of their childhood memories (stay tuned for... The Smurfs), but this...  Can we say awesome?

There is Only War

So... A small group of friends decided to give Dark Heresy a try. For
those who probably don't know, DH is a tabletop rpg set in the dark
and grim future of the 41st millenium.
It was everyone's first pen and paper style rpg and I was pseudo-
nominated as the GM. Overall I'd say it was a shit-ton of work to prep
for (since the players ran amok causing all sorts of problems and
situations for me to respond too) bu that's also because I had to
comprehend the rules as much as possible. And in the end (a good five
hours later) we more or less understand how to get through a game.
And I have to say, while I was hesitant and a bit nervous about my
exacting role within the scenario, it turned out to be a great deal of
fun. The players fell into their parts and some (Ishmael) created
havoc everwhere they went... Nearly blowing up other characters or
collapsing mine shafts for no apparent purpose. In the end he got his
own, mutated by chaotic power and gunned down by two other players. It
was highly entertaining.

In fact I was surprised how fun it was despite the stop-and-go nature
of our first attempt. But it was successful nevertheless and I hope
everyone else liked it as much as I did. Because I'm hoping for many
more campaigns in the future... Which for the record is filled with
war and only war.  And heretics.  Maybe some Xenos here and there.
But those all lead to war anyway. So... war.


Addendum:  I also wanted to add that the creatures,  the players and the sad lost soul known as "Rat" were all represented on our map by sprinkles in the shapes of dinosaurs and people.  It was kinda awesome.

Dark Ambience

So... I know this has nothing to do with anything, but in my search for interesting music of a atmospheric and dark nature, I stumbled upon this man. He mostly composes and licenses for films, doesn't look as though he releases any kind of albums or tracks. Still, the languid feel of this music and imagery really took me for a ride. So I figured I'd share the wealth. And if you're looking for some interesting ambient music for your feature, take a look.

Dark Ambient Space Music: Through The Ergosphere: Film Composer Simon Wilkinson from Simon Wilkinson on Vimeo.