Midnight Meat Train-Wreck

I've heard of movies being released in theaters. I've heard of movies being released straight to DVD. Usually these are the sub-par selections however and come with a certain connotation concerning it's viewing pleasure. This is not to say that all movies released in theaters are decent of course. I've seen my share of awful films while sitting in a darkened cinema (**cough The Strangers... Alexander... cough**). The latter experience is of course worse in some ways as my defense against bombarding cinematic expression of a lousy caliber is to mock it senselessly. With others. Out loud. Okay, talking in a theater is generally a cardinal sin. I can't stand people discussing a movie while said movie is playing. But sometimes, there's just no other way to survive, quite figuratively.

In an interesting twist, the movie Midnight Meat Train did neither of these things. In our area at least, the film came straight to the dollar theater. Apparently of wasn't bad enough for dvd, or perhaps they'd already advertised it and couldn't back off a release. Either way it deinotely wasn't good enough for a full priced ticket.

Luck would have it that I didn't pay to watch it, thus the only thing lost was a little piece of my soul. We saw it on demand, with a nice little intro from Clive Barker, the director. Barker, of Hellraiser fame, was obviously aware of the terrible reviews as he issued a disclaimer, "I really am proud of this movie..." He said it as though one would find such a statement hard to believe. And after watching Meat Train, I truly do find that hard to believe.



The plot, such as it was, may have been bizarre and ridiculous, bit that didn't stop it being predictable as well. If half the thought that went into the gore effects (my favorite was the wife running from the butcher only to slip on her husbands eyeball) was applied to the script the movie just might have palatable. Maybe.

I'm sorry, did I say the plot was predictable? It was except for the creatures. Yes the creatures sideswiped the film like that asshole student driver who forgets to check his blindspots.

So you follow a creepy killer with disturbing growths (which, FYI he cuts off and saves in jars) who mercilessly butchers people and Oh Shit! We need and end to this movie, what if these monsters live in the subway tunnel and to keep them from overunning the earth the killer feeds them these people, all in about the last 5 minutes of the movie.

Are we even watching the same film? Are we?

I'm sorry if I ruined this movie for you, but then again, I didn't. This movie ruined this movie for you. It was such a disturbing experience, I can only recommend that everyone see this film immediately. Then you too can lose a little more of your soul.

Posted with LifeCast