The Reckoning.

My, it has been a while.

I haven't found my way to this blog in years, but upon logging in, I learned that someone else has been enjoying it.  I had several views on March 20th, 2016.  While it's probably just online prostitutes or deposed Namibian kings searching for a bank account to share their $400 million dollars with, it's still flattering that with zero effort, people (or bots) manage to find their way to this blog.

Bad news for you, old chum.  I'm revamping the blog with a new purpose: Once a Murderer is being converted into my writing blog.  "Aren't most blogs for writing?" you ask.   Yes, unless they're on tumblr.  Then they're for porn.  But this one is now going to be about my endeavors at writing.  I honestly thought about starting a new one, but sheer laziness (and the fact that I love this blog's title) got the best of me.  If I'm not doing anything else with it, why not?  Repurposing is all the rage anyway.  If you doubt that, ask Pinterest how to put a salad in a mason jar or grow a garden in a palette.  Don't act like you're too disappointed.  No guarantees I won't still post random thoughts.  Besides, owning your own blog is so 2008.

So what does this mean?  Well, for starters, it might mean that I'll lose some of my 12 valuable followers who originally came to my blog for... musings on mannequins?  I don't know.  What it actually means is that much like some of my friends (here's looking at you, Swede-lady) who already post awesome writings and poems, I'll be using this to explore my journey into storytelling and improvement.   I'll be posting thoughts on writing, the process, the difficulties, exercises, and pieces of my work.  I also welcome feedback, should anyone feel like giving it.

Now, let's get down to brass tacks.

I want to write.

It couldn't appear sillier when spelled out on the page.  Regardless, I have been unemployed for a little while and it's made me reassess what I'm doing with my life.  Having hit the age where I feel increasingly locked into a future based on financial decisions and "smart" career choices, it became a now-or-never moment.  This factored into my decision (along with bad management and pathetically poor returns for the work I put in) to leave my job and step into the unknown.

For me, it really is the unknown and it has been terrifying. Only a couple months have passed, but since I was fifteen I have never been without a job for this length of time (and don't bring up my mission, which was more (fruitless) work than any full time position).  It's stressful.  I don't like it, and I know I'll have to figure something out.  Part of that process has been assessing what to do moving forward.  Always I return to storytelling.

I love storytelling.  It's in my soul.  I enjoy good stories, and I want to be able to tell them too.  It's what attracted to me to filmmaking, writing, and nerdy RPG games.  If I'm to be satisfied with a career, it needs this element.   This isn't a discourse on why stories are great or meaningful to the human race, so I'll just trust that you can accept this.  Also, I don't care if you can't.

Some of you may know that I have already been trying to write a lot more.  With the support of incredible friends and fellow writers, I have attempted NaNoWriMo four times (with two wins, for what that's worth) to jump start my interest.  Over time I have ramped up my writing and am currently in the process of a third draft of my first complete novel.  It's exhausting, but awesome to see this thing take shape.

Until now, it's been a hobby for me.  Or at least, I've treated it like a hobby.  This morning, after much angst on my future, I googled writing.  I've done this 10,000+ times.  The internet has been the greatest resource ever to a person like me who enjoys dabbling in everything.  I didn't expect to come across anything special, since I regularly read author blogs and listen to podcasts on writing, publishing, etc.  But I did.

A great article by author Hugh Howley on becoming a writer turned up. I know nothing about him, so I can't vouch for his work, but his article on working at writing struck me just right today.  Essentially he advocates that becoming a (published) writer is an insane amount of work.  The post is filled with a lot of concise advice; nothing necessarily new, but put together in an action plan I can understand, with the underlying theme being, stop making this a hobby and treat it like something you really want to do.

Basically, he advocates ten things, with the first five being the most important aspects of success:

1. Make a Long Term Plan

Howley's plan was to essentially write two novels a year for X-number of years to practice his craft and gain a backlog of work.  I can't argue with this though the thought of that much work is overwhelming.  As I said, my own first "real" novel has been the process of about 2-3 years.  I don't think that's bad, but it isn't fast-tracking me either.  I am trying to figure if I should personalize this, but if I dedicate as much time to writing as I ought, it also shouldn't be impossible.  With NaNo, I wrote an entire first draft in one month.  It's also a rushed piece that required a great deal of story restructuring.  I think I'm capable of this, it's just scary to commit to so much.  Which is why I should.  Okay, let's do it.  2 novels a year.

2. Read

I already read.  I love fantasy, science fiction, and horror.  What I don't do is read outside my genre as much as I should.  I need to read more thrillers, more historical novels, more fiction and certainly more non-fiction.  I will compile a list of books I'm wanting to read (with a nice genre mix) and post it on here.  Additionally, when I finish a book I'll craft-specific thoughts on it; you know, things learned or disliked or loved.

3. Practice

Howley points out that you shouldn't bother with creating an amazing bestseller.  Right now as you right you should be trying to find yourself one fan.  One person who wants to read what you wrote and then wants more from you.  This happens by writing.  Lots.  Surprise, he also says to start a blog and post daily.  So here we are.  As stated, I'll muse on writing here but I also intend start sharing my work on here.  That's scary, but necessary if I'm to improve.  My daily posts won't be nearly as long, I guarantee, so don't be disappointed if you only get a line or two from me some days...


4. Daydream

Got this one under wraps.  I remember once asking a friend back in high school if it was normal to have stories always running through your head.  Their answer assured me it was not.  I guess that's part of what Bukowski meant by, "if it doesn’t come bursting out of you, in spite of everything, don’t do it."  Writers are a different breed because we can't help living in two worlds.  It isn't even a choice.  When I am alone (and unfortunately occasionally in the company of others) I am daydreaming about people, places, situations that exist only in my upstairs.

 5. Learn to Fail

 This will come as I start putting myself out there.  I accept that I am not the best writer in the world, that first drafts are word vomit, and that the craft takes practice and time.  I vow to be open to criticism, and that critique makes me a better writer.  It also helps beat back ego and keep my writing humble.  So much easier said than done.

6. Plot Trumps Prose

Writing pretty sentences isn't what being a published novelist is about.  It's a worthy endeavor, but the important part is that you can TELL A GREAT STORY.  This is a much more elusive thing than strictly structured rules of grammar.  Because if I craft a gorgeously boring story, no one will read it.  My trials with this first novel have shown me I have a long way to go at getting better at this.  To improve I need to read more on writing structure, attend conferences and get feedback from peers.  I have an excellent writing group and am hoping to put together another more local one that can meet in person for face to face for discussion and review.  It is hard to see outside your own work after staring at it for so long.

7. Live Fully and Live Cheaply

This is about lifestyle changes to dedicate yourself to writing.  Because it isn't likely to be a hugely lucrative career unless you're a King or a Rowling.  Most of us aren't.  He argues that you can make a living at it, but you need to understand what that looks like.  For those of us working on breaking in, the cheaper you live the less you need and the more time you can dedicate to writing.  I am already learning lessons of frugality, being unemployed and all.  That said, it doesn't mean you can't experience life - particularly in talking to people and learning more about the world. Experience new things.  It will make you a better writer.  I'm not a huge extrovert - being out of my element is something I still struggle with overcoming.  I know I need to be better at talking to strangers and embracing situations outside of my comfort zone.

8. Network

Writing groups, conferences, cons, etc.  This relates to #7 for me.  I have attended writing conferences before, but need to make a concerted effort to do better and meet people.  Writers, editors, publishers... there is something to be said for cultivating those relationships even if you choose a "non-traditional" publishing means.

9. Write Great Shit

A bit redundant, since I feel this comes back to the process of practice, learning structure, reading others, and getting feedback to improve with.  This is the result of a continual journey for improvement.

10. Find your Voice

Another result.  While every writing book and class from here to mars will tell you to develop this, it really only comes from doing all of the above.

So there you have it.  A long winded entry on my re-shaped blog.  Hopefully you'll find it interesting, and if not, go read someone else's blog.  No one is forcing you to be here.  Unless my blog becomes required reading for North Korea.  Hopefully that's not your situation. So welcome to Once a Murderer.

By way of update, right now I am currently working on a post-apocalyptic noir sci-fi novel that for now I simply refer to as A.N.  It's where most of my writing efforts have being going as of late.  I have a screenplay that needs some revisal, and a couple of short stories I'm working on.  I also have the start of another novel that is calling, the more time I spend on my current on.

Now if you'll excuse me, I still have a novel to write today.