31 July 2012

Eons and Ages

Time passes. So quickly does it drag i'ts lumbering mass by. And those few fragmented moments we each receive, we must judge how we arrange them.

I know that if I pursue grad school, this is job temporary. I know that I am sinking a great deal into a project that garners more complexity with each passing moment, and shouldering that is a challenge. I know that there is so much to this world.

My toes touch the bottom of the pool. But barely.

I want a drink. Instead I'll go to work. Both are mind-numbing, so what does it matter?

24 February 2012

Really Peter? More Babble?

I can't think of what to write that won't be a trip down irritation lane.

But I want to write.

But I also feel like I'm in a dark place.

Maybe not a kill-your-own-baby place, but you know what I mean. I'm not trying not to vomit my discontent all over facebook anymore, althought at least there I'm required to keep it to a few words. The blog lets me ramble at length.

But I won't.

All there is to say is that I hate my job. I hate spending 50-60 hours a week reminding myself that despite how everything feels, I really am working to live, not living to work. Add to that a couple extra hours per day in the car driving back and forth, closing every night so that I never get to see my significant other now that our schedules are completely opposite, and certainly not least of all is that fact that I am tired of just about everyone above me. It seems like management consists of saying key phrases at the right moment - of throwing out buzz words when called upon, and the rest of the time apologizing for strategies that are ineffectual. Or too effectual.

What a fucking world. I know that I'm not the first to throw this out, but in the grip of it I can't think why we do this to ourselves. Yeah, I'm howling at the wind - nothing I do will change the mentality of society and the world that some piece of green paper is the key to everything. But all I can think as I spend (waste?) my time doing this, is that there should be another way. There has to be another way.

Does that mean I should give up my job and wander the himilayas? Maybe. That's actually already in the works. Both of those. In fact - brilliance - I think that's my time frame of absolute certainty. This trip I've been slowly planning for a month-long trek next summer is the end of my days in the restaurant industry. Come what may, I'm giving it up.

I'll work in a GD coffee shop to get by if I have to. Simplify and give up on the machinations of my place in some corporate world.

Well now, I feel better. Did I say this would be short? Oh, my apologies.

I need to inject this blog with some fun again. I have few topics to discuss so that is coming.