21 February 2009

Loves Toy China Buys Great!

Ah, there's nothing quite like cheap, lead-based Chinese toys to make one feel proud about being American and having access to such an assortment of imported non-quality items. On a recent whim, I went to the VF Outlets in Draper. They're in a sad way these days; few stores with even fewer offerings, unless you're in the market for air soft guns or turquoise jewelry (although it's hit or miss when the woman sets up her rug in the mall hall to serve up the finest indian inspired stone trinkets). But amidst this decaying and fairly worthless structure is the Toy Liquidator.

Usually these contain all the KB Toys cast offs that didn't sell back in 1995 and certainly aren't going to sell now. This particular incarnation, however, contained all the Chinese junk toys a person (albeit a person with little money or little taste) could ever desire. Because these toys are cheap, in ever sense of the word.

In the quest to keep these beauties low cost, much has been sacrificed - most noticeably a bilingual marketing team. Which is why I couldn't resist this plethora of Chinese-to-English-Dictionary merchandising.

Who doesn't love a Handpick Playset? My only question is where/what a Ferity is? Is it near the Caribbean?

Whatever you do, dear god provide against the children!

Pretty sure this sends the right message to kids about law enforcement.

And my personal favorite. Both the description of this toy truck and the truck itself are priceless.

So children, in conclusion buy Chinese. It's a cheap laugh. And you might die from the paint.

11 February 2009


So if you misspell my blog address, by simply switching the p and s in blogspot, you get a rather disturbing website, the likes of which my little rants could never compete with. Take a look:


In other news, i will update this shortly. I know I never got to the rest of the movies I saw at Sundance, but they were by and large good films. Although Push, the winner of the Jury Prize in the Dramatic competition left me thoroughly ready to cut myself. It was excellent and SO depressing.

Anyway, I can't linger because I have more exciting things to discuss. Like my costume designs for Isabelle in the play Ring Around the Moon. Everyone knows I make costumes, for parties, murder mysteries, and for plain ol' fun. But now I get to design for an actual production. More on this to come, but to suffice it to say, I'm excited by how it's turning out. So far.

01 February 2009

Not Alone

Apparently there's other geeks out there. Driving mini-vans.