21 February 2009

Loves Toy China Buys Great!

Ah, there's nothing quite like cheap, lead-based Chinese toys to make one feel proud about being American and having access to such an assortment of imported non-quality items. On a recent whim, I went to the VF Outlets in Draper. They're in a sad way these days; few stores with even fewer offerings, unless you're in the market for air soft guns or turquoise jewelry (although it's hit or miss when the woman sets up her rug in the mall hall to serve up the finest indian inspired stone trinkets). But amidst this decaying and fairly worthless structure is the Toy Liquidator.

Usually these contain all the KB Toys cast offs that didn't sell back in 1995 and certainly aren't going to sell now. This particular incarnation, however, contained all the Chinese junk toys a person (albeit a person with little money or little taste) could ever desire. Because these toys are cheap, in ever sense of the word.

In the quest to keep these beauties low cost, much has been sacrificed - most noticeably a bilingual marketing team. Which is why I couldn't resist this plethora of Chinese-to-English-Dictionary merchandising.



Who doesn't love a Handpick Playset? My only question is where/what a Ferity is? Is it near the Caribbean?




Whatever you do, dear god provide against the children!




Pretty sure this sends the right message to kids about law enforcement.




And my personal favorite. Both the description of this toy truck and the truck itself are priceless.

So children, in conclusion buy Chinese. It's a cheap laugh. And you might die from the paint.

7 comments:

Humanjunk said...

I do highly suggest sending those photos to Engrish.com.

Jiles The Great said...

That is so awesomely sad. FYI I looked up ferity as I was curious to see if it was even a word--and it is, meaning "the quality or state of being feral." So I guess it works if the pirates are cats or something. LOL

Unknown said...

China is so sincerely integral awesome. We are to over people devise.

A.prem said...

Chinese toys are sadly disgusting.

Here, in India, they have implemented a ban on these for six months. I wonder why six months, it’ll take at least six months for this law to act, considering the rate at which things happen here! Also 70% of the toys here come from china. So, its fairly impossible for this ban to come off.

Em said...

I feel inspirational from this post. I gain so many insight into parenting and purpose of life. I think I want people to think and remember me for being remembered to provide against her children, and don't try commit crimes. And THAT is the meaning of life!

kajsia mccoy said...

i want my own handpick playset.

Em said...

I just checked your blog again, and I'm depressingly disappointed that there is no new entry. Maybe I should become a follower. Maybe I should update my blog to include your blog as a link showing when you update. Maybe you should attend Rehevo Runion Seattle.

On an optimistic note: kudos to you for previously most always having new posts for me to read when I checked.