31 December 2009

Multimedia message

WTF?  Only in Idaho. 

29 December 2009

Hap-hap-happiest Time of the Year

So Christmas came. And it went. I don't know how a year managed to
wrangle past so quickly, but here we are nearly at 2010. Which, by
all accounts will be a good year. What more can you say about the
release year of FF XIII? Anyway...

Let's recap 2009 for everyone who lived through it (and thus doesn't
need a recap):

•We got a new president. Which just went to prove that our nation is
still both racist and socially unprogressive. But that's the way Jesus
wants it.

•We are living through history. I think most of the events of the
last few years have really just been a sign of the end of American
Imperialism. Our "empire" is in decline, and frankly that's okay. I
mean hell, it worked out for the Brits right? Someday textbooks will
say this. Maybe not American textbooks, but textbooks somewhere. This
decline is most likely due to homosexuals destroying marriage/family
values, our failure to continue torturing other (non-American) human
beings and liberals advocating a universal right to healthcare. It
certainly wouldn't involve our moral superiority complex and divine-
right approach to international relations or capitalist greed in our
financial sector. Luckily our educational system is broken, so more
parents can keep their children home-schooled and away from Satanist
teachings like evolution and global warming. After all, science has no
place in the Lord's Nation.

•For you locals, we learned that the LDS church is akin to the
southern blacks during the civil rights movement, according to Dallin
H. Oaks. This is because the Church is being persecuted for helping
to deny equal rights to another group of people. Just like the
southern blacks were lynched and hung because they didn't want
Mexicans to be allowed to marry. Just like that.

•We discovered that swine flu is way worse than bird flu and we'll
all probably be dead from it soon enough. My school gave us this
advice: Don't go to the doctor if you get sick. We don't want to
overwhelm them. Also, if you're near the U when the flu turns this
country into Zombieland, it is worth knowing that the university
tennis courts have been designated as "The Morgue." Seriously.

• 2009 also took Michael Jackson from us. It was a difficult blow for
many people who didn't know him. And for those few who did. And for
those who sent their kids to his ranch.

•While we're on the subject of celebrities, Tiger Woods cheated on
his wife. Does anyone care? The Media does. And thank god because how
else would we get all the sordid details of the events that normal,
rational people don't give a shit about? Thankfully there are millions
of people who would rather hear about Tiger's marital problems than
all the real news going on. Wait, we're still in a war? Since when?

•Lastly, NASA discovered that there is likely water on the moon. I
could make some comment about our future possibilities for polluting
it, but that's just preachy so I'll simply say: yep. There's water on
the moon.

And there, dear friends, is a biased and useless recap of 2009.
Hopefully 2010 brings you joy, advancement and scads more scandals of
every type. Happy soon-to-be-new year!

23 November 2009

How many resurrections does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Okay, the title doesn't make any sense. Nor will the rest of this post. But I have seen a pattern here in my blogging; it functions very much like a wave pattern: periods of heightened activity and interspersed with dropping off the face of the planet.

I apologize for this. I should be more regular. Which is why I'm shooting for a high-fiber diet. But I should also write more often.

The show which consumed my life has come to an abrupt end, and I will post pictures... once I get them. But this should leave me with more time. Theoretically. In reality all I've been left with is a bit of creative satisfaction, an overpowering urge to drink wine with friends, and the urge to play video games.

For right now, that's enough. Hopefully I'll have more luck in the future waxing philosophically. Or at least cynically. Today, I'm just going to remember how much fun it is to be an 8 foot tall blue tiger with a huge sword and a badass fashion sense (a reference that likely makes sense to almost none of you... your loss).

05 October 2009

The Colorado Way

Apple Jack. A store that carries more than all the Utah liquor stores

One More Thing

I would like to know why Utah is so damned backwards. If anyone has an
answer, I'd love to hear it. My current theory is that as People-Who-
Have-the-Truth, Mormons feel it's necessary to pick on those who

I guess if you're not in with the popular crowd, it's cool for the
majority to restrict your rights and make your life inconvient, (which
is funny given their history) whether we're talking gay marriage or
finding a decent bottle of wine in the store.

Found three favorite wines in Colorado today. None are carried by the

Baby - Barbera d'Asti
Voga - Italian Pinot Grigio
Green and Red - California Zinfandel

Thanks Utah, for making getting away an even more pleasurable
experience due to your restrictive and discriminatory mentality.

18 September 2009

Tokyo o kudasai.

A bit of Tokyo love (because I loved Tokyo) for you:

Countryside on my bullet train ride. Most of Japan that you're actually in is nothing like this. It's jam packed as far as the eye can see with buildings.

The Imperial Palace Gardens. Seriously beautiful.

I could not find a picture that encapsulates Japan more. Everything about this country is a hybrid, and this picture showcases that. Taken from the the Imperial Palace walls, smack dab in the middle of Tokyo, and surrounded by high rises, it is old meets new.

There, this is more like what I saw, most of the time. Akihabara, the technology district of Tokyo.

Akihabara at night. More specifically, Yodabashi Camera, a ridiculous store with everything you could ever want. Including... the next picture.

That's right capsule toys. Those little vending machines at grocery stores filled with bouncy balls and crap, well they ain't got nothing on this place.

These are arcades. 8 story arcades, overflowing with adults. These aren't really kid places. There's smoking, drinking, and naturally some hard core video game playing. Oh Japan.

From the elevator at the hotel I stayed at. The Engrish begins.

This is a Japanese phenomenon. People obey the rules in Japan. Even if nobody is watching. Look at these escalators. You line up, single file, on the left side so people running up them can pass you. This happened everywhere. Its a small thing but it gives you an idea of the mentality in this country. Compare that with Americans ascending levels...

Naturally I had to go here. I wouldn't be a Japanophile if I didn't. And it was awesome.

And yes, that's Sephy. In the floor.

More to come. Like Harajuku. Huzzah!

06 September 2009

Nihon, Nihongo, and Oh-So-Much-More

Japan was incredible.

I start by saying this to anyone who asks how my trip was. That's because the moment I attempt to encapsulate the experience of living there for five weeks, words fail. I can't accurately summarize all that I felt and what the experience meant to me, and I suppose people don't really want me to either. They want to hear it was "good," and move on with their lives.

That doesn't keep me from wanting to express it. The beauty, the history, the spiritual aspects and the people... How do you explain that to someone who hasn't been there, in the moment? It's an undertaking that seems fairly impossible. I will elaborate as I see fit, but this will be closer to a collage of fragmented thoughts, moments and pictures in Japan.

Maybe that's best anyway. Maybe that's the way it really happened.

Landing. We came into the Kansai Intl Airport, a manmade island they built in the ocean, slowly sinking as the years go by.

View from the balcony of our dorms.

Breakfast of champions. Didn't think seaweed wrapped rice balls filled with fish sound delicious first thing in the morning? Well, you'd be wrong.

A fantastic photo of me. I must be overcome by all the excitement of Namba, a neon-lit shopping area where the trendy hang out. Trendy like me. And this look.

Ramen isn't just ramen. Although it is made in Osaka. Ramen shops specialize in incredible from-scratch varieties that chefs spend years in school learning to create. This remains one of the best meals I had. Maybe if you lick your computer screen you'll taste a bit of the incredible garlic flavor in this dish.

On the other hand, nothing quite grosses me out like Jello. Particularly coffee flavored jello. Utah would've stumbled on this first if they'd been into caffeinated beverages. Luckily Japan worked it out, so the world won't miss out on this delight.

And then there's Mos Burger. Think hamburger, with teriyaki sauce, lots of mayo, add curry and some onions on a delightful bun and you have Mos Burger. Better than it sounds. I promise.

Mass transit is all the rage in Japan. Occasionally very crowded, rather expensive on the whole, and totally convenient and clean. It puts ours to shame. Oh and that's Laurel in the background, another program member, dutifully doing as asked by the University, to wear masks around for the first week we're there, lest we kill everyone in Japan with swine flu. It didn't last quite so long with the rest of us...

I guess it would be appropriate to say this is a blog on my first impressions of Japan: food, surrounding areas and mass transit. So it seems like as good a bridge as any to end this post with my Shinkansen ride to Tokyo. We'll save Tokyo for next time, but these bullet trains are incredible. They literally leave and arrive the minute they say they will. The stewardess' are helpful and friendly, and the entire experience is just good.

More to come ...

02 September 2009

Alright, alright already...

To be updated soon: a brief blog on the wonders of Japan. Hopefully
you don't care if it's a lot of pictures. Cuz those are worth
thousands of words. Words I don't have to write.

14 July 2009

Dear Anonymous

Well friends, I am officially returned to the United States. And I have many incredible things to say about Japan. I love the exposure to a society that gives me the opportunity to experience a different cultural perspective; an opportunity that always allows one to question the places they came from and to expand their mind and narrow their predjudices. This is why I love to travel and explore places that aren't... well, here.

I have far too much I could discourse on my time in Japan, but for the moment, I will lead into the actual topic I wish to discuss tonight.

Today I got a response to my post on "The Trials of Self Loathing," from an anonymous reader who apparently doesn't agree with what I have to say. Which is fine! I don't expect everyone to think as I do. But likewise, they can hardly expect me not to address their comments if I feel so inclined. And since it is my blog, so I shall.

First the comment:

On Jul 14, 2009, at 4:51 PM
Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "G0ywads, or The Trials of Self-Loathing":

Attempting to explain spiritual things to non-spiritual people is impossible. Depth goes way over their heads.
When the spirituality on this blog actually is developed and strived for, maybe this blog would be worthy of reading.

And now, my response:

Dear Anonymous,
Thanks for your thoughts! The feedback of the readers helps us improve the services we provide here at Once A Murderer. Now, if I may, I'd like to address your comments.

First, bravo on soldiering your beliefs! It takes true moral fortitude to stand for what's right in these dark and increasingly evil times. I'm just disappointed you felt as though you needed to post your response anonymously. If, as you seem to imply in your comments, spirituality and hence God are on your side, there should be no reason to not publicly declare your lofty residence in the mansions of Heaven. Certainly I would never presume that your remarks were made anonymously out of a shame for your tennants, but you've put me in the difficult position of having to surmise the type of person who wrote this, so I might adequately respond.

Clearly you are not an avid reader of my blog since the post you remarked upon is older, and in terms of content, hardly a scathing review of religion. I've written far worse.

But perhaps we have some common ground there. I suspect that to some degree you too believe other religions can seriously confuse people looking for the truth. We differ only in that you believe you have "the one true church" and I believe there's no such thing. Ah well. As the saying goes, "You say tomato..."

I'm making the assumption you're a member of "the church." Your morally superior tone has that ring to it. I understand the need to justify to yourself that the way you're living your life is right. But I would like to offer a little advice, as a friend. Being so cocksure about an unknown afterlife and your own spiritual jockeying smacks of doubt. In fact, I find it interesting that you left these anonymous comments on that particular post, one which focuses on self-loathing, closeted homosexuals. For all intents and purposes, you've left me to assume you fall in that category and are thus taking such offense to my blogging.

Now I also gather you got to my blog through my facebook link, so likely we're facebook friends (a meaningless title indeed) unless you've dropped me for my lack of subjugation to the prophetic counsel. After all, you wouldn't want to hold onto people who don't think or believe the same way you do. It's a pretense that's seen us through Holocaust atrocities, Marxist regimes, and even mob persecutions of Latter Day Saints. Solid thinking indeed.

Perhaps that's the reason for your anonymity, then. Perhaps, like many who cry the loudest, you're covering for your own personal problems. I should hope you didn't withhold your identity for fear of being revealed as a hypocrite. Although it makes sense; and I completely understand, then, if you felt like you needed to make a righteous attempt at combating Satan but were afraid your own life, seated upon your throne and crowned with arrogance, wouldn't hold up to the scrutiny.

And what a crown it must be. I admit that I bristle (albeit only slightly) at your implication that I neither have nor am striving for spiritual things. I'm much obliged for your assessment, I really am. And I hope you'll give Jesus a high-five from me the next time you sit down with him and determine the spiritual state of others.

I could take the time to explain my own spirituality, my belief system, and the trials I went through to come to them and stand here as a person who feels he lives his life according to codes of a spiritual nature. I could, but I won't because I'm afraid the "depth" would go way over your head (A quick clarification: Does that sentence in your response mean I'm so deep I can't see the shallower "depths" above my head? I'm just asking logistically, of course, since that would reasonably, make me deeper than you. Elucidation would be quite welcome). It's incredibly presumptuous of you. I can only take from this that you mean I don't fall within your standards of spirituality. Not to be rude, but considering what you've given me so far - that you're likely a hypocritical closet case who feels better by condemning things that he/she doesn't understand - I'm not sure I want to hold myself to your spiritual standard. Its got a little too much "double" mixed in.

Finally, I appreciate that you've deemed my blog unworthy of reading - not just for yourself but for everyone. As I previously stated, you've clearly not been following my blog, so while I am grateful for your thoughts, I doubt you speak for all the readers out there. And sweetie, if you don't like my blog, no one is forcing you read it. You sound as though you'd be much more comfortable perusing LDS.org, so please, feel free to waste their time if you don't care for the content here. I have no intention of asking for your permission, or your spiritual guidelines before posting in the future, so really, don't expect it to get any better.

Anonymous, in the future, if you want to leave more comments on my blog, I welcome them. But in the meantime, feel free to take a look at why you're so desperate to prove your faith by anonymously attacking the spirituality of others through chicken shit comments. If you're looking for a fight, I'm happy to oblige, although I generally prefer rational, well-reasoned arguments. The "God-says-so" defense doesn't hold water, and the "I'm-on-Spiritual-high-ground" gives you no credibility. Seriously, do better next time.

Love your friend and offensive blogger,

03 June 2009

Mysteries of the Exotic East

Konnichiwa bitches.

As a quick update, I just wanted to inform you, my loyal readers, that i am currently going to be updating this very rarely for the next month or so. Whats the difference from what i am currently doing, you ask? As you should, since i never update this regularly anymore...

Fine, that was deserved. But i am not updating anytime soon because i have limited internet capabilities (although this may change when we are no longer under quarantine by the school for suspected swine flu. which we dont have but the japanese are afraid we do.)because (oh. i already stole my own thunder)Im in japan. and this keyboard is really difficult to use at times. i keep switching into kanji and kana characters. if my grammar is terrible, thats why.

Yes, the exotic world of anime, honorific exchanges, and robots. though i have yet to see any of the last one. but i have faith that i will get to before too long. here's hoping. anyway the point is that im far too busy trying to survive to worry about keeping this blog up to the minute. or week. or month.

whatever, in the meantime, ill continue to get stared at by adults, laughed at by children, and misunderstood some old asian guy trying to help me figure out how to buy a subway pass. until then, take care and just be jealous i can buy sake out of vending machines here.

14 May 2009

G0ywads, or The Trials of Self-Loathing

I know I promised a blog on more of my creative endeavors, but since that's probably less interesting to you faceless masses out there, I felt completely legitimate about posting some thoughts.

Indeed, these thoughts demanded to be posted when I stumbled upon the most amazing site ever (as mentioned by another blog, many thanks!).

A riddle for you:

Q: What's religious, homophobic, and interested in man on man action?

A: No, it's not Ted Haggard. It's the g0y (with a zero) movement.

Just what are g0ys? Christ almighty, where do I begin? G0ys are men who crave the intimacy of other men, but in a masculine sort of way because they are disgusted by "queeny" gays. Oh, and they definitely don't do anal sex. That's a big point in the core belief set. Approved activities include: naked wrestling (which is definitely encouraged by the site as a good way to bait other g0ys) hand jobs, blow jobs, massages, kissing, rubbing against each other, etc. None of which is "gay," apparently.

Who are g0ys? Well g0ys are any number of men (1 in 3, according to the well-researched stats on the site), many of whom are married and have kids, or that consider themselves straight, but just want a very close male bond. They are men who are dissatisfied with the media making such a big deal about anal sex in regards to gay life. But "gays," who are (apparently) all extremely effeminate and begging for anal sex, are met with repulsion by the g0ys.

Furthermore, the site gets into scripture. No seriously, it does. And it finds fault with the media and society for the stigma of to man on man love as evil, as a relationship that requires anal sex, and as a sin. In reality, the actual evil is anal sex, not intimacy with another man. The scriptures presented are laughable at best. Rev. 21:8 which cites sinners, (and sexual sinners) being cast into a lake of fire. How this proves his point, I'm not sure. Or Luke 17:2, the one about hanging a millstone about your neck if you cause the little ones to stumble in their belief. What? Seriously, what?

The site gets more ridiculous the deeper you get into it. They want churches to accept man on man love, but "loudly denounce anal sex and those that create tolerance for such deadly and destructive acts." There's plenty about aids on here - and admittedly because of thin tissue walls and such, anal sex can easily transmit STD's when care is not taken. But it turns out HIV is passed through other means as well. And **gasp!** straight people get it too!

So what do we do about this stigma, those of us who are amBisexual and get lots of babes but conceal our desire to be close to other men as well? He proposes that it's in education. Yep. He proposes the creation of g0y x-rated films to help educate people on the "appropriate" or moral version of man on man relationships. Seriously.

I'm seriously blown out of the water. Like seriously. The site rails (and hard) on homosexuals. It's the most out of control display of self-loathing I can imagine. In our society we use terms like gay or straight to stereotype people, on this point I'll agree. People are people, and there's varying degrees of attraction, likes or dislikes, innate in everyone. Fine. But this assertion - on moral groundwork no less - that g0ys are the right way to approach sexuality is ludicrous. There are gay men out there who don't like anal sex, just as there are straight women who do. Or straight men who like penetration, but aren't interested in men. It's a personal preference. Nobody like the same things, not even in bed, it turns out, and what disturbs me most is the sheer lack of tolerance displayed by g0ys. The idea that men loving men is not wrong, but "gay" is or anal sex, or effeminate acting men, is a serious pointer of someone who is confused.

I've run into lots of former (or current) church members who can't let the religious background go - and believe me, I understand. Religion can seriously fuck people up. It's incredible the things people will justify to themselves, and the manner in which they will. This site is an example of that. It's patently offensive on so many fronts. Some of my favorite notes include that not all gays are out there queens who don't understand what intimate relationships between men are really supposed to be, but beware: "hanging out with smokers will make you smell like smoke, likewise hanging out with flamers..." I also really enjoy that he compares "butt sex" to cyanide. Or that men rape other men because it is the ultimate expression of disrespect. He says this as if its totally credible, never questioning where the idea came from or that it might actually be an expression of a chauvinistic patriarchal system and the notion of masculinity. In fact what I find most interesting is how adamant he is in defending both a religious morality to this and his own masculinity. And on a side note, if you're considering coming out g0y, you're advised to work out at the gym for 6 months before doing so. Apparently the g0y world is not place for uglies.

It simply screams of some guy who can't come to terms with his interest in men, unless he can define it as something different, to allay his own moral conscious and to feed his self-loathing, hypocritical and hateful justifications.

Check out the site, because really there's too much ammo here. It's a riotous good time. And always remembered, you got g0yed here first.

g0y Me!

Does this look g0y to you?

13 May 2009

Ring Around the Costume Shop

Finally, as promised far too long ago, I will post my sketches and the actual costumes that came from them. It was for a beginning costume design class, so we each took a character from the play Ring Around the Moon. I was assigned Isabelle, a character who wears a dress that gets constantly mentioned throughout the play - it was a daunting task. Plus the director set the piece in 1912. Has anyone looked at the dresses during this period? They aren't pretty, they don't move, and they're not flattering to the figure. Ah well.

The process was also pretty consuming. I have to research the period and dresses for said occasions, then search for the right fabrics, dye them to the appropriate colors, meet with the pattern-maker and help them create a 3D version of the sketch, attend fittings, hair stylings, etc. etc. etc.

Turned out that my simple designs were some of the most time consuming and difficult to make, not to mention costly. This is a running theme - somehow I dream in naturally complicated designs. We saved a little money by not purchasing the perfect hand-beaded fabric online for the ball gown (which, when paired with the silk crepe would've brought this dresses cost in materials alone to $3000) and instead, I spent my life beading it myself. You do what you gotta do, I guess. Course, some saintly souls were willing to aid my in that beading process, but I'll allege I spent around 20 hours doing it. While I didn't have to make the dresses, I was still deeply involved and anything not clearly someone else's job, fell to me.

All in all I think it turned out well. Unfortunately these pictures don't do the beading/sparkle justice. Just imagine it sparkling under the stage lights. Because it did. And it was fantastic. My hands still hurt.

The Travel Dress/Coat:
This picture is terrible, I just took a quick one with my iphone, so sorry for the lousy quality.

And here's the actual:

On stage, suitcase in hand:

The Ball Gown
Once again, this is partially terrible photo and that I used colored pencils (watercolor or prisma color markers are far superior) but you get what you get.

And the actual:

The dress in action:

There you have it. It was busy, but in the end it was also really, really cool. For our final project we created designs for an imaginary show of our choosing, in any time period, but based upon the 7 Deadly Sins. I'll post those as soon as I get them back.

12 May 2009

Updates Galore

...are coming soon. In fact they'd come now if I didn't have to go to work. Damn it. Well, just sit on the edge of your seat until then, because as promised, the designs and the dresses will make their way on here, plus what has taken up all of my time the last couple months...

To make this post a little less lame, I will present for your viewing pleasure, the Chuck Norris Action Jeans!

Everyone should own a pair, or five. Who knows when you'll get into a scrape that only Chuck could get you out of.

19 March 2009

Spring Breakin'

Frankly, the last several weeks I've been in what I believe is a very creative place.

And it's getting worse.

Symptoms include twitchy energy that demands to be spent on constructing something, clutter steadily appearing as more crafty stuff gets dug out of storage, and a complete lack of memory for details like what someone is saying to me, as I zone out and ponder the best method of heat forming sintra.

School is coming progressively to an end for me. I'll FINALLY have my degree, and be ready to charge out into a economic crisis and try to survive. Hooray. In the meantime I'm hoping to funnel my creative strides into exercises that are fulfilling and portfolio building. Someday I'll make a name out of all this stuff.

Anyway, for now, I've been juggling things I need to get done - costume stuff for the upcoming U theater production (the outfits are turning out incredibly well. I'll post some pics and my design sketches here soon), school (despite it being spring break), work (always work, always my favorite, although its amazing how much less I hate my shifts when I desperately need money), and of course, projects to keep me sane.

As posted once, I have too many. My interests are ridiculously wide a varied anymore, and thus so are the things I work on. Screenplays, novels, costumes (which includes a bevy of things from sewing to leather working to uncomfortable exchanges at the Home Depot as they want to know why you only need a 1' x 15' section of rubberized pond lining), fan films, cooking, self educating (because new skills are always good skills), 1930's murder mysteries, and so on. Currently though, Judge Gabranth is taking up my free moments. I've wanted to build this costume for a while and it was so overwhelming, I lost my way for a bit. No worries; now I'm back and pushing through it.

Okay, so this has been an update style posting. I apologize, because its like you're reading a lame journal entry. I promise (ha!) that the next entry will be more essay-esque in nature, like my old blog posts used to be: i.e. more pompous aire and a dash imperious.

17 March 2009

To Rant or Not to Rant

This is always the problem with writing blogs a few days later - I planned a rant about moral high ground and the insanely irritating tendency some people display in thinking they always have it. But that energy has petered out and as much fun as it might be to insult or offend people, particularly heavily religious people (who, let's be honest, are often the ones claiming such a position), I'm spent and will limit myself to an extremely short discussion of a subject dear to my heart:

I don't care how much money they make, whether they prefer ebonics, or if rappers just aren't creative enough to come up with actual lyrics, the fact remains:

CONVERSATE IS NOT A WORD. Nor is any form thereof. You are not conversating, on the phone or anywhere else. You converse. In fact, what's worse is that the legitimate word is even shorter than the derelict version. Which means that rappers are either trying to be stylistic, or really in need of grammar lessons.

Anyway, that's all. Rant completed.

12 March 2009

Coming Soon...

I am tired. And I have a rant to give.

Most likely it will be offensive.

But I can't now. I have to run to my summer semester orientation.

That is all.

10 March 2009


Especially you, nasty ducking dipshit asshole at the gate who closed
the door despite your superior and fellow ticket agents saying to let
us on (although they weren't exactly in a hurry to be helpful either).

So now I'm sitting in an airport bar drinking margaritas because if I
weren't I'd probably be defacing Frontier property and getting arrested.

See, if it was our fault it'd be one thing. But it's not. It's theirs.
They were the ones who somehow didn't ticket us, their passengers and
couldn't figure it out in time to get us on the plane. Even though we
had a reservation, a confirmation number, seats an a itinerary and a
receipt. The customer service woman had the gall to tell us to
arrive earlier next time this situation arises.

Oh, okay. Next time I know in advance that their system screwed up
I'll be sure to tell the captain of my connecting flight to arrive two
hours in advance so I'll have to time work this situation out.

Oh fuck all ya'll. So I'm stuck here until the next flight tomorrow at

See, this is why it's dangerous to have an iPhone to blog from. No
doubt this would be much calmer if I wasn't in the heat of the
moment. Sorry. See the previous post for evidence of my anger.

Evidence of My Chilling Out

07 March 2009

A Sobering Beach Walk

Drinking Down Charleston

Quite literally. We made it to Charleston in time to hit the food and
wine festival going on. Since coming to the South I've been obsessed
with the food. It's part of what they're known for after all. The
festival was the perfect stop as both local wineries and distilleries
showed up but also a truckload of local restaurants who showcased
their specialties, seafood and more. The bbq crab salad was to die
for and the truffle potatoes were incredible. But who knew I'd like
the pork liver terrine? We got to try more of the local cuisine than
we ever could have in our one day there otherwise.

This was naturally accompanied by all the wine and liquor we could
handle. And then some. I found some new favorites (doubtlessly
unavailable in Utah) and will and I both got sloshed.

To counter this we spent the rest of the evening walking Broad street,
eating Indian food, and strolling the beach at sunset. It was

Can I just say, I love Charlotte.

06 March 2009

Mr. Carver Would be Proud

I know. It looks like I'm holding something kinda gross. In reality
it's a boiled peanut. And it's good. Who would've thought?

Doing the Charleston

I'm especially excited about today; we're headed into Charelston for a
food and wine festival. I've been guaranteed some excellent seafood
out here too. It should be fun.

Which reminds me... Yesterday Will and I stopped at the Georgia
welcome center to pick up some literature. While there, Will decided
to hit the restroom where an older gentleman was using his cellphone
while at the urinal. Will washed his hands and started to use the air
dryer. It was apparently loud because the guy turned to him and said,
" Excuse me young man, can't you see I'm on the phone." To which Will
responsed, "Excuse me sir, can't you see you're on your phone while
taking a piss in a public restroom?".

That's my bf. But then he has a very valid point. Who just does that?

Southern Belles?

On a quick sidenote, is this really the latest fashions in Georgia?
Catering to the old church-going southern ladies is my guess.

Riverwalk and Beyond

So aftera late lunch we went into Augusta, GA. It's sort of trendy,
sort of traditional and actually really charming. According to the
random history signs we saw everywhere the city has been pretty much
ravaged between numerous floods, huge fires and wars. It's looking
good today, however.

We walked down the Riverwalk along the Savannah. Its a beautiful
landscaped path with views of the enormous homes across the rive in
the SC side.

After that we explored broad street, miraculously found where Will
used to live, enjoyed the scent of the paper mill (think dirty wet
feet) and capped the evening with tapas at The Bee's Knees. Will
discovered a Sweet Tea-ni which made him quite happy. Only in the
south do they make tea flavored vodka.

Yesterday's Lunch

Let's just talk about Shealy's in Leesville for a moment. It's famous
around those parts; it looks like a converted church dining hall inside
(complete w/ scripture of the day); requires you to wash your hands
while in line; and has the best BBQ ever.

I've never had mustard based BBQ before. It's awesome. Seriously. I'm
sad things like this haven't caught on in the west. So far the food
has yet to disappoint me.

05 March 2009


Today things are already looking greener in NC. The freak snow storm
that dumped on them before we arrived is melting away into deep greens
and thick forested underbrush. It makes me sad that Utah is so
woefully short on wooded areas. Yeah, I know it's a desert. And yeah I
know we like to over-develop anything along I-15 and have no respect
for open spaces or anything that doesn't turn a profit... But I digress.

Anyway we filled yesterday with visits to Eljon, a city containing
Will's best childhood memories, seeing faces from his past and
reminiscing. Sesquicentennial State Park was particularly beautiful
and Will pointed out the numerous magnolia trees and palmettos the
area is known for.

We finished the day in Camden, oldest inland city in SC and the site
of British occupation during the Revolution. It was dusk when we
stumbled on the Kershaw House, where the British commanders set up
their headquarters for the area. It was closed but interesting and
beautiful nonetheless.

Today we're off to Augusta after a brief stop at Shealy's for some
hardcore BBQ. So far my only regret is that Carowinds is closed until
April. Alas.

04 March 2009

Fried Goodness

Sweet Tea

Southern Cookin

Will swears by this place. And I have to admit it was pretty damn good. Let's be honest, isn't food part of what the south does?

Welcome to Dirty South

Today is my first official day in the South. I've never been here and
thus I will be blogging it because I'm thrilled by the cultural
variances. My only previous exposures have been an abrasive bartender
I worked with, three hours in the Atlanta airport on a layover, and of
course Will an his family.

Already I've encountered a different mentality, a strange (and oddly
sincere) politeness that Utahns surely don't posess. Will's accent
continues to get thicker and I tried sweet tea for the first time.

It's amazing how different people and places can be within one
country. Admittedly a large country, but still.

21 February 2009

Loves Toy China Buys Great!

Ah, there's nothing quite like cheap, lead-based Chinese toys to make one feel proud about being American and having access to such an assortment of imported non-quality items. On a recent whim, I went to the VF Outlets in Draper. They're in a sad way these days; few stores with even fewer offerings, unless you're in the market for air soft guns or turquoise jewelry (although it's hit or miss when the woman sets up her rug in the mall hall to serve up the finest indian inspired stone trinkets). But amidst this decaying and fairly worthless structure is the Toy Liquidator.

Usually these contain all the KB Toys cast offs that didn't sell back in 1995 and certainly aren't going to sell now. This particular incarnation, however, contained all the Chinese junk toys a person (albeit a person with little money or little taste) could ever desire. Because these toys are cheap, in ever sense of the word.

In the quest to keep these beauties low cost, much has been sacrificed - most noticeably a bilingual marketing team. Which is why I couldn't resist this plethora of Chinese-to-English-Dictionary merchandising.

Who doesn't love a Handpick Playset? My only question is where/what a Ferity is? Is it near the Caribbean?

Whatever you do, dear god provide against the children!

Pretty sure this sends the right message to kids about law enforcement.

And my personal favorite. Both the description of this toy truck and the truck itself are priceless.

So children, in conclusion buy Chinese. It's a cheap laugh. And you might die from the paint.

11 February 2009


So if you misspell my blog address, by simply switching the p and s in blogspot, you get a rather disturbing website, the likes of which my little rants could never compete with. Take a look:


In other news, i will update this shortly. I know I never got to the rest of the movies I saw at Sundance, but they were by and large good films. Although Push, the winner of the Jury Prize in the Dramatic competition left me thoroughly ready to cut myself. It was excellent and SO depressing.

Anyway, I can't linger because I have more exciting things to discuss. Like my costume designs for Isabelle in the play Ring Around the Moon. Everyone knows I make costumes, for parties, murder mysteries, and for plain ol' fun. But now I get to design for an actual production. More on this to come, but to suffice it to say, I'm excited by how it's turning out. So far.

01 February 2009

Not Alone

Apparently there's other geeks out there. Driving mini-vans.

28 January 2009

Fashionably Forward

Lest I keep putting it off, I am now going to present, for your viewing pleasure, a summary and brief review of one more Sundance film I saw. This is because I have other topics I wish to blog on, but can't allow myself to until I deliver the promised goods of my festival experience. Here is yet another, dear friends.

The September Issue

The premiere kick off of the festival and possibly one of my favorites of the few I saw. It's a documentary that focuses on the creation of the prestigious September issue of Vogue magazine, highlighting the workings (and business relationship) of editor-in-chief, Anna WIntour, and creative director Grace Coddington. For those not in the know, Anna Wintour is considered one of the most powerful and influential women in fashion. She is also nicknamed the Ice Queen, and known for being a a cold and stand-offish bitch. Meryl Streep's character in The Devil Wears Prada is reportedly based off of Wintour.

The film didn't disappoint. She is a fascinating personality, completely capable of sending even the most powerful and self-assured designers into quivering fits of terror. The exchange with Yves St. Laurent was particularly memorable as he attempted to convince her that his fall line of blacks is actually very colorful when it becomes apparent she isn't interested in dark or brooding looks for upcoming issue. Watching her boredom in meetings with extremely influential people, or her ability to take away and turn conversations into exactly what she wants them to be was truly riveting. And yes, she certainly had her moments in which she coldly admonished subordinates and peers alike. The staff at Vogue are walk on egg shells, constantly in fear of her decisions.

Its not entirely without reason, either. While she can be frightening, Wintour also weilds ungodly power. In one excellent segment she takes a no-name beginning designer who won a small local contest and, simply by recommending him to a few choice individuals, elevates him to star status. In a matter of weeks after their meeting, his picture is plastered across NYC, he is the toast of parties and his designs are in huge demand. Such is the power of Anna Wintour, and why despite her occasional cold streak people are desperate to appease her.

To be frank, the woman eats, sleeps and breathes her magazine and uses it to mold the entire fashion world. The film is filled with gems that have you squirming, such as when a photographer ignores her requests on a photo shoot and the aftermath as Wintour discovers it. But the real enjoyment comes from watching the interaction between Grace Coddington and Ms. Wintour. Both came to Vogue at the same time, but often clash in their ideas. Anna is the editor, the slasher, and the eye that makes the final product work. Grace, on the other hand, is a creative type who whips up incredible images and infuses beauty and art into every piece she does.

Her 1920's flapper shoot is particularly impressive.

Grace is the one person who has little fear of Anna, and even enjoys goading her on at times. There isn't a whole lot of love lost between the two, but the need for each other is clear. At one point, after seeing all of their difficulties with the other's opinions and work methods, it is nice to see both acknowledge how talented the other is at their respective job. All in all, the film is a fun and unique look into the fashion world, and even more into the figures who shape it.

See it. And feel bad about your wardrobe.