I can't think of what to write that won't be a trip down irritation lane.
But I want to write.
But I also feel like I'm in a dark place.
Maybe not a kill-your-own-baby place, but you know what I mean. I'm not trying not to vomit my discontent all over facebook anymore, althought at least there I'm required to keep it to a few words. The blog lets me ramble at length.
But I won't.
All there is to say is that I hate my job. I hate spending 50-60 hours a week reminding myself that despite how everything feels, I really am working to live, not living to work. Add to that a couple extra hours per day in the car driving back and forth, closing every night so that I never get to see my significant other now that our schedules are completely opposite, and certainly not least of all is that fact that I am tired of just about everyone above me. It seems like management consists of saying key phrases at the right moment - of throwing out buzz words when called upon, and the rest of the time apologizing for strategies that are ineffectual. Or too effectual.
What a fucking world. I know that I'm not the first to throw this out, but in the grip of it I can't think why we do this to ourselves. Yeah, I'm howling at the wind - nothing I do will change the mentality of society and the world that some piece of green paper is the key to everything. But all I can think as I spend (waste?) my time doing this, is that there should be another way. There has to be another way.
Does that mean I should give up my job and wander the himilayas? Maybe. That's actually already in the works. Both of those. In fact - brilliance - I think that's my time frame of absolute certainty. This trip I've been slowly planning for a month-long trek next summer is the end of my days in the restaurant industry. Come what may, I'm giving it up.
I'll work in a GD coffee shop to get by if I have to. Simplify and give up on the machinations of my place in some corporate world.
Well now, I feel better. Did I say this would be short? Oh, my apologies.
I need to inject this blog with some fun again. I have few topics to discuss so that is coming.