11 June 2008

Requests Before I Go... Or Should that be Demands?

So I was cleaning out the "project room," as we like to refer to it. All the junk from the world of smalltime indie films (Satanic Seal for sale... extremely heavy) and costume creations (aluminum armor can damage you emotionally too) and random attempts at learning new skills (using contact cement as a skin replacement, for example) and just plan cool whims (yeah, that's my pimp cup, bitch) have been shunted to this room.

Seeing as it is getting a little out of control, the time had come to clean. My project stuff was in veritable disarray anyway and the effort required to get the items one needed at a given time meant you had to recall what you had used it for last, and then find the bag with it. Heat gun... heat gun... creating fake limbs? No. Drying latex masks? No. Melting red crayons into "blood?" No. Reshaping sintra? Ah, there it is.

So I organized and cleaned, and its... not even close. But it is getting there, and that's something right? Yet another half finished project for me to have under my belt ( I'm an avid collector of them). And as I was doing so, I started pulling out the weapons made/purchased or whatever. And lo and behold, I remember how fun they were, and donned a couple.

This picture was the result.



I have made sure that my friends and family whom I've shown this too will hand it over to the media once I go on a shooting spree. That way news anchors will have something to cut to while they make statements like:

"If we could show that picture of the suspect once again. Clearly this was a disturbed young man and we have to ask why no one saw the signs."

Which will be followed by:

"Now police are telling us that before he took his own life, he screamed that video games and violent films were the cause of his rage. As you can tell from the photo it looks like he is carrying several bladed weapons from extremely bloody games like 'Riven: the Sequel to Myst,' and movies such as 'Lord of the Rings.' There also appears to be a pirate sword, like those used in the 'Pirates of the Caribbean' movies. Joining us is Dr. Laura, as well as Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter, none of whom are experts on anything, but sure espouse to be. Thank you for being here. Can any of you say "I-told-you-so" on behalf of the Conservative Right-Winged Religious Republican movement? And do you think the 'Golden Compass' with its atheist themes played a part in this tragedy?"

I'm glad I could make a contribution. But then, I don't really think I'll be going to postal anytime soon. Oh sure, working at the Mac Grill makes me slightly crazy. Just not that crazy. Although sometimes I wonder about some of my fellow employees...

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

ha ha nice post. Yes, typically i would have sunk deep into the abyss of depression due to my pathetic existence that is "the macaroni grill staple," but fortunately i have you and swift to keep me laughing. Oh what would i do without you peter!

Fish Nat!on said...

last night i considered shoving a pen through jordan's neck. but then i decided not to.

i wish i had.

well maybe not.

but maybe.

oh, and i do love you with multiple blades about your person. maybe instead of dousing myself in alcohol and lighting myself on fire atop island three, followed by the accusatory finger point at the wretched fat masses gathered at that horrible restaurant, ill just bury that small dagger thing in my chest, still atop island three, still with the accusatory fingerpoint at the still wretched, fat masses.

kajsia mccoy said...

You are cool. let's be friends.

Anonymous said...

I am glad that you still have the blade; do you happen to still have a pair of gloves to match...?