Where My Ladies At?

An Ode to the Women of My Life
(by P-yo)

Oh Bathsheba Jaqueline J...!
Why do you taunt me so, with promises, and broken english?
Do you not know the temptation you prove to be?
I can only imagine what you'd open up to be, you hOrNeYsLuT, you!

And guinevere Charmane Loi...
How coy you play it!
With your seductive offers to increase my membrsze
or send me nasty++photos...

But ladies, sometimes, I suspect,
you don't know who i am anymore (or ever did)
when you mis-spell my name
or drop generic invites or tell me your bust measurements.

But it's all a game to you-
i'm just one of the many you try to seduce
and i won't be just one more on your list.
No! I hate you, WHORES! Hate the things you are!

Oh ladies, I can imagine what you would do to me,
(you always have an attachment)
but women like you have a dark side.
No doubt you'll make me freeze and destroy all my files.

And so it is with deep regret that i must delete
all of your heartfelt messages of RoLeXwAtChEs4cheep!!
and file them as spam.
You decievers of the heart!

Play with me no more.
You're simply not my type.