Irritations and Authors

Wow its been a while since I blogged. I am sorry all you loyal supporters (are there any really?) of this blog.

So... as usual, I write when I'm:

a) tired. It must be that I want to write huge discourses but my exhaustion is naturally present during these moments and I wonder if it is impossible to get the same point across in ten words or less.

and

b) infuriated. There are so few things in the world to be angry at, right? Or perhaps so many its difficult not to be infuriated, if (that is to say) you're taking a look at the world around us.

And I am infuriated. There's a litany of things that I could go off on tonight:

Members of my family for their blind support of a President who, now more than ever, is one of the greatest forces for disaster and the downfall of america. They refuse to even discuss it, naturally, because I'm sure George W. Bush was ordained by the Lord himself, or some such. Even the Republicans are looking uncomfortable and staring at their shoes in the face of his behavior.



I could be angry about the organization that is religion, and how sometimes it can't helped but be seen as a controlling force used for the weak minded and easily lost. The recent "alteration" of the Book of Mormon's preface, seems to be one of those moments, a subtle softening of the Church's Lamanite heritage assertion in the face of DNA evidence.

Read it here: Book of Mormon Change

(Oh and, yes it is in the Salt Lake Tribune, but the Daily Herald covered it too, and being a liberal ex-mormon writing MY blog, you don't get to complain about me using this source.)

I could be infuriated with micro-managed and poorly run restaurants who are respond to worsening internal issues in all the wrong ways. Not that I have any experience in those (see picture below).



I might be vexed by the fact that militant and unbalanced right-wingers who desperately believe that their jesus is better than your jesus, and justify bigotry, oppression, governmental meddling, hatred, and the degrading of human rights in the quest for assuaging their souls about some unknown afterlife with a being who may or may not be there and may or may not reward you for your devoted animosity to your fellow man.
A quest which extends to denying people who love each other the ability to have equal status in this country. That is understandable however, since it is ludicrous to consider valuing love above irrational fear and hostility; almost as ridiculous as allowing freedom of speech to those who don't agree with my point of view, or NOT running secret prison camps and bugging people's phones illegally. Silly, really. The Canadians and Europeans show us up in their social progress.



That last bit makes a decent segue into what I am irritated about though tonight: author Orson Scott Card.

Random, isn't it? But you see, I've been a fan of some of his work - Ender's Game and his book of short stories Maps in a Mirror, to name a couple. But in looking at different fantasy and SF author's websites this evening, I came upon a little discovery. It is difficult for me to seperate my views of his art with his personal views, because often in art, they are driven by each other. Any art of real importance says something (though I believe I know a few individuals who completely miss this aspect).

That statement made, I can't always agree with some of the political grandstanding celebrities do (Halle Berry's Oscar acceptance, anyone?). I don't want to get into hypocritical waters here, so I should clarify. It is certainly their right, and if they've made it thus far in the world of fame, kudos to them - really, say whatever the hell you want from your platform. It is a temptation for me (and everyone, no doubt) to give flack to the ones whose opinions don't match my own, but I do my best to combat that, to understand where they're coming from. That is completely different though, than disagreeing with a famous individual's stance and letting that color my opinion of their work.

Its your freedom to voice your opinions, it is therefore utterly mine to reject them, if I feel so inclined. Which brings me back to the notion that personal beliefs tint the artist's creation - its inevitable. I recognize I'm just mad right now, but it is hard for me to accept that someone who writes with as much scope as Mr. Card can and does, is plagued by such a small-minded mentality, falling prey to a homophobic attitude that is hardly becoming.

He has been quite vocal, it seems on his opinions of homosexuality (which is quite odd, considering it is a rather alienating move, particularly for an author of his calibre, but then, perhaps not that odd for a hardcore mormon), going so far as to say that there ought to be laws against the homosexual acts (sodomy laws?).

Oh and it gets richer. He doesn't want to round up the homos and put them in jail with these laws, oh no. In a valiant stab at being the morally upstanding and superior individual he obviously considers himself, he hopes the laws would instead drive homosexual expression underground and into secret, "so as not to shake the confidence of the community in the polity's ability to provide safe, stable, dependable marriage and family relationships."

Right. I'm sure your bigoted suppression tactics are well meaning Mr. Card. No doubt others have professed a similar mantra towards those who are different in belief, color or creed. No doubt its nice to have strong supporters like Hitler, the KKK, Anna Coulter, and Fred Phelps who've got your back.

And worse, he's defaulting to that lamest of excuses, that it threatens the sanctity of marriage. I don't understand what that term even means, and I'm pretty sure nobody else does either. At least no one's been able to explain it to me, despite their willingness to throw it around like confetti. How does me marrying a man threaten your relationship? And if it does, well you've got bigger problems with your marriage than me walking the aisle. Arguments against homosexual marriage always boil down to either hating gays (which is YOUR problem, really), or "god says so." I think that's Genesis 1:4.

Moreover, Card goes on to say that he has many dear Homosexuals as friends. Hopefully they've long since left him behind, because anyone who favors legislation making the person and relationship most important in my life illegal wouldn't have and doesn't deserve my friendship.

He continues on, making a number of comments about the term homophobe being used to silence people, although as someone else pointed out, anytime an attitude moves from tolerance to suppression of the rights of a group - for whatever reason - it is a phobia. The author also claims that gays already have civil rights, and therefore the gay rights movement is, it is implied, some sort of agenda bent on the destruction of the family and america.

Essentially, I was just very surprised, and frustrated to find that even though he is LDS, Orson Scott Card is so wildly narrow-minded. I'm not advocating that religion or churches should recognize homosexual marriage - if you don't wish to, great. In this nation you're welcome to be racist, sexist, homophobic, or douche baggy as you please. But that attitude shouldn't extend or affect the government's mission to ensure equal rights to all.

I guess what it comes down to is a huge letdown with an author I found quite talented. Which he is. But I may not be reading much more of his, since there are a lot of authors out there to read and I don't wish to waste time on those who consider me a second class citizen.

Fuck you, Orson Scott Card.

This was all disclosed in an older article, written, admittedly for the church, although he has written other discourses on it and is quite adamant about his position on homosexuality. Don't believe me? Well as Reading Rainbow would say, "Don't take my word for it!"

"The Hypocrites of Homosexuality"

Love,
Peter

Watch Our Film Festival Entry!!!

OUR FILM FESTIVAL MOVIE IS NOW ONLINE!!!

Yes, it's true. I'm finally making my directorial debut, at least online. Many of you know I'm studying film, that I'm planning to make films. But few of you actually have seen anything by me. Well, here's your chance to see a film, made by myself and a select group of very talented team members.

To see it, you need to go and vote on our entry to Apple's Insomnia Film Festival.

We had 24 hours to put together a 3 minute movie, using all certain key props/locations/characters. We worked hard and to the end and now its online, waiting to be judged. The only way we win is by you, our friends, families and loved ones, voting for us.

Go and vote for us right now!! I could post it here, but instead I'm going to send it you to it so you can get an Apple ID (it takes 30 seconds, and you DON'T have to be a student, just enter your favorite school) and give us a 4-star rating.

Here's the Links:

It's called "Memories" and can be found here:

Memories
http://edcommunity.apple.com/insomnia_fall07/item.php?itemID=1393

if that doesn't work try this:

Apple Insomnia Film Festival homepage
http://edcommunity.apple.com/insomnia_fall07/contest.php?

Search for us under "Lead Pipe" or just the title, "Memories."

If you ever want me to talk to you again, or at all, vote for our film NOW!!!

Who Watches?

I just finished Watchmen last night. For those of you who don't know, I'm relatively new at this whole graphic novel thing, but there is a lot of hype to the Watchmen. My interest was struck at Comic Con this year, when Zack Snyder (director of 300 - huh.) gave a presentation we happened to catch on the film version (as always, completely unassociated with or approved by Alan Moore) being worked upon.

Though not a great public speaker, his passion and excitement for the subject, and his intention to remain utterly true to the material were very telling and my interest was aroused.

So a week or so ago I went out and bought it.

This comic is hailed as a turning point in graphic novel history - it is revered as the moment when darkness really started to come to comics, but more especially as a complex piece of art.

I'm happy to say it lived up to the hype, more in fact. And I highly recommend it to anyone interested in a grim, political story mired in psychology and human flaw. Its a fascinating take, but keep in mind it is extremely dense, symbolic and heavy. Not light fare in the least. I'd like to write more about it, and more particularly discuss it with anyone who has read it. Other perspectives always yield greater insight.

Alas, now I must find something else to read because I'm hungry for something as filling.



Read it.

Oh dear god...

Its moment's like this that I spend a lifetime waiting for. Unfortunately I missed out on the very clever and cool marketing campaign warner brothers is doing for this film - including a website during Comic Con (because the WB panel we attended was incredibly silent on the subject) put up by the joker. They skywrote a number over the con, which gave you riddles to the website and eventually revealed this picture from the upcoming Dark Knight film:



Now the site is nothing more (as far as I can tell) than this - a much devolved version.

Joker's Website

Still, one of the things the site originally linked to was this teaser trailer, which is frankly the most exciting part of my life. I'm curious to see what you all think. Its gonna be good. I can taste it. Watch and enjoy...

The SHit!

Alright kids, you asked for it (well, no you didn't, actually) and you got it (you just get it anyway, because even though you didn't know you wanted it, you're finding out now):

Our production diary blog is live (or at least online and updated as frequently as we feel so inclined). Here is where you'll find all the anecdotal and intriguing behind-the-scenes information about our fan film currently in production.

You'll get to hear/see all random adventures we've had making this, from filling abandoned bathrooms with blood, to raiding Albertson parking lots, to visits to Mordor and horrifying encounters with sprinklers. Its all there. Or will be anyway.

See it all here: The SHit

The movie started out as a small project and has blown into a much-larger-than-anticipated film. We've been working on it since about April of 07' and we're slowly nearing the end of shooting, so it will probably, with post, be available come early October.

Until then, check the link above for what's currently going on with the movie. Its sparse at the moment, but will be updated soon. This week we're shooting one of the biggest scenes in the movie, which will be fantastic, but is all consuming, so we'll play catch up on this blog next week.

Pimpin it...

The trend these days is to really display a sense of wealth, even if you haven't acquired such. At least the trend in some cultures, and I'm certainly not going to point fingers or infer that industries like the rap music business is contributing to the "own a pimped out escalade with 23" rims at the expense of paying your heating bill" mentality, but if I had to pick...

Anyway, the point is that clothes make the man. Or something like that. Your percieved wealth is JUST as important as your actual wealth, and no one knows that better than hip hop celebrities of our day, who invest several houses' net worth into their teeth. But that aside, I realized why I don't get the respect from the bitches and ho's these days. They've been desensitized by MTV, and in order for me to step up and have the street cred I so rightly deserve, I needed to show them, yea even the world that I too have serious bling, that I can wear large fur coats in the dead heat of summer, that i can shoot other gangsters cuz I'm hardcore, or even father bastards to my hearts galore.

So how does a white middle class gangster make it to the top? Besides singing death threats to his wife Kim, I mean.

Pimp cups.

Yeah, you heard me, pimp cups. I was mulling it over with some homies in my gang, and we decided that if Lil' John has one, we best too. Its the only way. And so we had some designed and commissioned (read: made ourselves). Some are not quite finished, but you can already see how "konvict" we're becoming thanks to these little numbers.

Now I proudly present to you: Our Pimp Cups.



From Right to Left:

Ryan's - It will have a skull and crossbones (surprise) amongst other things, but he had to go to bed early.
Amanda's - It is so Amanda. And the A-Jiz touch is very nice. Or a dirty touch. Which makes it nice.
Will's - note the commerative status of his cup, it also sports crosses, a jesus fish and WWJD around the base.
Mine - P-yo. I wanted wings, but Senore DaVinci wasn't around to make me some.
Jackie's - Mirrors and jewels, as if any drag queen could resist such.

Oh joyous day!!

this doesn't really deserve a whole blog, but...

i'm going to Nerdfest '07!!! (a.k.a. Comic Con). Our friends Brady and Capree wanted us to go with them, and after all is said and done, we are finally going!!

hooray for comic con!

it was a serious blast last year - i shall miss hanging with some of the homies who went last time, and i shall miss the no-sleep-hang-out-at-disneyland trip on the way (misery...). I guess i'll just have to take a vacation with them soon. (Hear me Mander? Where we gonna go? Let's make it good and do it SOON.)

Anybody want anything from Comic Con? Other than nerd sex of course.

Carried Away on the Wings of a Sidebar

This one's gonna be a quickie.

And aren't quickies the best? At least, according to "Quickies are Best" volumes 1-15 or so. But I'm not going to dwell on XXX material, because let's face it, porn is SO 1995.

I have a quandary for you. But before I get to it, I have to interject that I mistakenly thought I knew how to spell quandary. I didn't. And the saddest part is that a dictionary, yea even and online dictionary (i.e. those sweet people at Merriam-Webster) couldn't help me. Because I couldn't spell it. Oh, I knew the word existed. I use it in my verbal vernacular all the time. But thanks to the failings of the Utah, California, and Colorado (mostly Utah) education systems, I couldn't spell it.

I attempted the thesaurus, since I did know and could spell, the meaning, but had difficulty finding a hit that would bring up quandary. So what did I resort to? That all knowing, that all-seeing, self-proclaimed God of the Internet:

Google.

Yes, that's right, I used google. Because as sad as it sounds, I knew they could help. Sure I use google to search the internet; sure I have a gmail account and love it; sure I've even accepted google as a verb ("Oh Cathy's quite famous. Google her, you'll see," said my last table of the evening who weren't very good tippers. I don't care if I can google you and get results - it probably means you're on adult webcams. Not tipping well, however, certainly insures you to be an asshole, particularly when the service was great, if I do say so myself. But then who I am I kidding, "Cathy" probably knows all about the servicing industry...).

But when Google starts moving into areas of my life with definite boundaries, like looking up word definitions and etymology, it makes me uncomfortable. I love a good beer brat with kraut, at a summer barbecue, hell, those things are phenomenal. But if one shows up at 7:00 am on my breakfast plate, I'm not going to be happy about it.



So how did powerhouse google help me? I knew that if I misspelled the word on google, but came reasonably close, it would suggest in the results that I meant something else - the actual word.

Know what? I was right. And off by an A. Quandary, not quandry.

All this proves one thing: I am a product of the digital age. Not until college did I take a class that addressed media and the internet. How long has this technology been around? Years and years, as any once-pubescent boy can tell you (delighted by the ability to get ahold of naked pictures without having to find a way to physically purchase them). It seems that finally schools are realizing sooner or later they'll have to deal with technology.

Which stems another thought - there are now rules, at least in our area's school district, whose newsletter was mistakenly shipped to us, that kids will be suspended or expelled for looking at pornographic material on their cell phones. This is an elementary school newsletter, p.s.

Where are the parents letting their 3rd grader have a fucking cell phone, is what I want to know.

To me its a strange indication of the evolving times. My point is, that where the ridiculous multitude of english classes -always my best subject and therefore through no fault of my own, but the generous teaching strategy of coddling the lowest common intelligence denominator - have failed me, my own self taught usage of the internet, computers and digital technology allowed me to solve my problem.

Truly everything is changing - from the influence of common nobodies, like myself, who are able to influence elections, out celebrities, expose right-wing conservative douche bag sham artists (and former porn-stars), even create their own porn and show it to the entire world with ease- and strange times we live in.

As I said before, I'm a product of the digital age, and not the scholastic age. The unfortunate part of this statement is that right now, I'm at the forefront of feeling that influence. My generation is the generation where for the first time, adults play video games, indeed video games are geared towards us. We're the generation where piracy, once limited to giant corporations or sea-dwelling vessels, hangs out in our bedrooms, worrying hollywood and the music industry to no end. We're the kids who blog to create change, and gain voices through a medium that nobody can truly control. The gap between the professional world and the amateur world has started to close and truthfully who knows how that will redefine they way we live?

All I know is that this advent, this shift has shaped who we are. Shaped who I am. But I'm only the beginning. Right now, I'm saddled somewhere in the middle. But if there are children, albeit children into hardcore porn at age 7, who can carry cell phones in elementary school, then it will be interesting to see what is coming next. My generation is the change, but we're the fulcrum of the raised-on-digital-technology-pendulum.

Wow that is really not what I wanted to talk about.

Actually this was to be a relatively brief blog on how I need to upload some videos, since I am a "rogue filmmaker" and therefore should have something to show. I do plan on uploading empty, though not perfect. Our fan film is in the works (I ought to blog on that, with photos of middle earth to boot - no, it is NOT a LOTR fan film) and will of course be posted when finished...


The Face of Terror

What I am curious about is if people want that classic of classics, The Mutant Trashbag or not on here. Its been hailed as "the greatest film ever made", or maybe it was "the first film Peter ever made." I can't seem to recall which. Anyway, you, the readers are welcome to comment on this blog. Both aspects, actually. Videos I've done, and my rant about growing up in a digital megaverse, or as I like to call it, DigiMon. Whatever. I'm out.

Disneyland Accomplishment List

I just wanted to tell you:

I'M GOING TO DISNEYLAND!

Yes, I know, you're saying, "But Peter, you just went this spring!" Its true, I did. But now I'm going again, and I'm excited. If you're not, you can blow me.

Peter's List of Things to Do at Disneyland

-Touch Big Ben. No, sicko, the clock on Peter Pan. That still sounds wrong.

-Eat a Dole Whip (Whip it good)

-Say hello to the carousel horses I lost money on. and maybe fight my evil twin while I'm at it.

-Get the f*cking Wisdom path on Indiana Jones

-Have some asians take pictures of me

-Give that bitch at the River Belle Terrace a piece of my mind

-Eat a giant turkey leg, while wandering around 300 lbs overweight and in size SM tank top

-Meet Maleficent

-Don't sleep all night before going, to enjoy hitting your 7th or so wall, and wish desperately that the park stocked enough coffee

-Throw up a little Blue Ribbon Bakery Love

-Say hello to the Bear of Lust

-Steal some baby switch passes for the Matterhorn

-Make someone sick on the teacups, feigning like you don't spin much

-Kill everyone else at Buzz Lightyear

-Get the goddamned magic mirror to tell me my disney character twin is someone besides Hopper

-Lose DG sunglasses and force lost and found to search for, then mail them to me

-Learn exactly why the Cretaceous period is between Tomorrowland and Main Street

-Sneak into the underground tunnels the workers use

-Enjoy some pot roast in 90+ degree weather

-Re-iterate how Alice in Wonderland ride has no real point

-Knock people down trying to get first fast passes to Splash Mountain, even though one could just walk on the ride at that point...

-Get paid to do Velociraptor impressions

-Use the 2 hour travel time from Disney Parking Garage to Disneyland for constructive team building exercises

-Buy a shitload of useless gimmic-y stuff that I don't need, but will feel inclined to buy while in park

And so on. If those sound odd, its because you haven't done Disneyland with me. A.k.a. Disneyland the Right Way. It should be a blast. Wish you were coming. Maybe.

I misplaced the carving knife.

I have a beef.

A big, slow-roasted beef.

And I want to carve into it, let you enjoy all the succulent juices that drip out as the knife tears the flesh and sinew into jagged pieces. All metaphorically of course.

But since its 11:41, and I'm tired and I have to work all day tomorrow, I'll perhaps leave that hunk of meat for another meal, and instead give you a bit of smoked carpaccio as an appetizer, to whet your salivary glands.

Margaret Cho once made the scathing and entertaining comment to straight people that if you "watch Will & Grace but don't support gay marriage, then FUCK YOU!"

An appropriate and wonderful insight. I have one of my own though of a similar vein:

If you're gay, enjoy the culture and the scene, but aren't politically active or involved in trying to secure the rights that allow you the benefits, then FUCK YOU!

And that is all I have to say for tonight. Brevity is becoming. Sometimes.

Triple X, sans the Vin Diesel.

So it came to my attention, as I struggled to write that paper on social problem films disguised as thrillers for my film history class, that perhaps we've overlooked a serious genre of films which are so very important to us all.

Being that I stand for righting (or just writing) the injustices of the system, I now present to you a short essay:

Deep Seeded: Story and Structure in Pornographic Art Movies

We often time dismiss adult films as simple or as more propadanda-ist drivel from those left-winger liberals who believe we ought to share everything, including government programs and bodily fluids. This is a most distressing point of view considering that real potential exists in these films, just as in any genre. Just as animated films, often apparently geared towards children, can be moving and emotional experiences when well done for adults, there lies a potential for porn to be intellectually stimulating.

Artists have always recogonized the human body as a beautiful marvel. The porn industry is truly no different than any other behemouth movement of an art - some are hacks and some really try to connect with the divine and create a statement that is meaningful to society. The experimental and avant guarde films that show what smutty sex films can truly aspire to be. Art.

Such are these films which follow. For the sake of ease, I will concern myself mainly with that subgenre of adult films, "gay cinema." Straight cinema is an entirely beast in its own right.

Take for example, the not-so-recent, Chef Boy Oh Boy. With it's deft storyline about several young chefs, on their own in world full of cooking and sexual repression, this film has really laid the groundwork for the other filmmakers like Chi Chi Larue.

In truth, few films embody the completely artistic taste and flair for visual storytelling as The Man Who Blew Too Much. A heart-wrenching tale of one man's obsession that ended in tragedy. Immediately we identify with the main character, a charismatic young man who's only crime was a deep love of deep-throating. The film works to help us feel the pain, and while it seems monotonous at times watching large member after large member have their way with his mouth, the editing is crafted to feel as if we too are blowing too much. From the onset, Billy is taken advantage of, the heirarchy's of society are challenged as police and military men each abuse their positions of power and put Billy himself in a new position.

It is disheartening to watch this young pizza delivery boy's dreams of college and an education in philosophy be crushed by "the man," who is only interested in what might be inserted in Billy's mouth. In the end our young hero is reduced, as the tagline suggests, to "work[ing] for cum." Soberingly gritty and realistic, unflinching in its narrative of a downtrodden man, it may not be for everyone, but it will have you thinking deeply about its poetic themes.

Other films which may be of interest to you, each with their own take on the social problems and distopia of the world around us include, Boyz On The Hood, Cream of Meat, Poppin' Peters 5, and Packed with Pride #19: Stick Shifters.

Each are worthy of viewing and analysis. Perhaps, as with all great works of art, we can better learn to understand ourselves and the world around us. Let us appreciate the great things which lie within us.

Things like Michael


or David (a.k.a. Rick Long)





Note: The author makes no moral judgements about whether pornography is acceptable or not, nor does he make or can he be held to any profession of the above pictures being attractive. He may or may not like the first one and certainly doesn't care for the second image (his face looks like it took a beating), but that is all a rumor anyway.






Okay, almost "sans Vin Diesel..."

I'm looking for a corpse, have you seen any around?

We had plans last night. I mean, we were going to sneak into an abandoned house again, to survey the damage of vandals (seeing as we're using it for our SH film). And I was trying to convince Will and Jackie to go, which was difficult because apparently breaking into an empty dark house isn't top of their list. I can't imagine why though, as Roosevelt once said,

"We have nothing to fear but possibly homicidal squatters who wanna cut us."

Alas, this exciting scheme was usurped by something else entirely: a trip to the spooky, fog enshrouded world of Silent Hill...

Sort of.

Actually, it was a trip to Noizy Hill, one of the funnier parodies of this game franchise I love so much. Perhaps it is so funny because there is so much anxiety attached these scenes. When you play the game you are consistently moved into a deeper and more twisted storyline, that continually makes you wonder, "What the hell is wrong with these people?" or " Why in god's name am I doing this?" or even simply, "WTF?" There is tension and angst and scares galore. I can't play these games alone, because if I do, there's no one to throw the control at and demand they play through the next horrifying level. Silent Hill is a stress-inducing descent into fear. And there's nothing like have our terror made fun of.

I encourage you to watch these videos. But! I encourage you to watch them only after having played the games or most of the humor will be lost on you, not to mention there are spoilers galore. We laughed ourselves into hysterics and I praise the youtuber who came up with this concept. The audio isn't perfect, but the amusement factor certainly is.

Here is one of my favorite moments (of the many pieces its broken up into):



See more at:
Noisy Hill

Are you coming back to Gotham for long, sir?

Yes. I'm posting another blog. Mostly because I want to move forward and not dwell. So I'm going to go on a random tangent.

Lately I've been working on the DVD for the Batman Murder Mystery I wrote and which was played out, almost a year ago (sick). And while I've been interviewing people, attempting to create this digital scrapbook, essentially, this strange feeling has returned.

Like Herpes, it always comes back.

(Um... I was going to put a picture of herpes on here, but I looked it up on google, without a filter on the search, and the pictures make me want to barf. Sorry no herpes pictures here. Just imagine and insert your own here---->
Or better yet, google image search it.)

I wrote the first mystery, which had arisen out of a great desire to have a Batman costume party, after realizing that once you had a collection of people dressed like villains and heroes alike, what then? Thanks to Matthew Leavitt who, in his usual unassuming battle cry to action said, "Why don't you write one?" in response to my bemoaning an actual Batman-themed How to Host a Murder.



And so I did. It took a lot of blood, sweat and tears to hammer out the format, a format that other spin-offs, such as those my friend Paul produces, take for granted since I had no basis for what I was creating. I only knew in England, there were parties not designed as parts to be read aloud around the table.

I ran with this and created a game (a pretty decent game, I should add) that hinged on murder, deceit, larceny, scandals, sex, and lying and backstabbing. People could still be killed which added a new sense of tension to the format, and so on. Elaborately staged, from meeting in Arkham Asylum, a trip to a cemetary in the rain, and dinner at the Iceberg Lounge, the game exploded into craziness.

I recall ques forming to talk to characters, people wheeling and dealing where they had no place, vendettas being carried out, and objects and money moving so quickly, no one could keep track of things. The costumes, the food, the decor, was all quite wonderful.



I felt tapped out after that party. I thought I would let it be. But that lasted maybe a month or two before I discovered Hush. Batman: Hush is a series that was done by Jim Lee and Jeff Loeb, two amazing artists. Together they created a gripping epic storyline with a multitude of villains.



I can only hope to one day have such a fantastic product. Once I saw how nicely all these villains fit together in one story (which was a challenge in the first one) I went over the top. I began writing an overnighter mystery, with competing groups, physical objects to hide and have stolen, event cards to force the storyline forward and many other advancements.

And while the decor wasn't nearly as elaborate, the storyline became doubly complex, and anarchy reigned. Along with really great food, of course. There was murder, blood, set ups, dealing or drugs, catfights, stealing, a funeral complete with coffin and eulogies and Alfred/Leslie Thomkins, the moderators turned players.



It was loads of fun, loads of work, and loads of expense, since I footed the bill. But it was worth it. And I was exhausted after I was done.

I thought, perhaps, the itch was scratched and I was done. And for a bit, it was. And now, just like another outbreak, my inner demons are taunting me with new and better ways to advance the game process, characters demanding a story be written and murder be played out on the great stage of Gotham City.

Who am I to deny them? I have not the fotitude, for I too am a creature of the night, and I feel the passion driving me forward. Batman I am not. But he shall return, on a dark and stormy night in Gotham to vigilantly end the corruption of the madmen and women who scheme against justice.

Even if that night is one of my making.

Be prepared. A New Batman Murder Mystery begins.

Scary Arcade Magic...

What the fizzle-fuck? Silent Hill: The Arcade? Ummmm...



A) Why is Konami investing in this? Unless it's strictly a Japanese product, (which deprives us U.S.ers of the joy) and perhaps the japanese market booms with the arcade situation, this is a seriously lame-ass move. I love Silenty Hill but the psychology and the ambience are what make these games great. But I'm also not willing to invest quarter after quarter into a first person shooter where I get little to no ability to explore, nor do I get to turn off my lights and play in solitude and freakiness of my own house. Standing in a crowded theater lobby shooting at patient demons isn't that frightening. Arcades can be fun, but they're the wrong format for a Silent Hill game, which takes vested interest, not $0.50 for ten minutes of random gun fest.

But then maybe they'll make it fun. They could put you on a horse, and make you run through silent hill, and you could force your horse, always "Magic Peach" regardless of what horse you'd actually like to choose, to run while you whip it. And it could gripe the whole way.

What? They already have done this? What do you mean Final Furlong is quite possibly one of the worst arcade games to every be made? How could it NOT be fun?

Death to Equal Rights for Women!

My grandparents have this habit of sending me emails that are just... a little ridiculous at times. Today I got a whole slew of them, and decided to write back on this because it was so very misinformed. Angered as I was, I couldn't keep it to myself, so here's the email, and my response to it.

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www.UnitedFamilies.org
February 8, 2007

Urgent Alert!

AMERICA'S CONSTITUTION AT RISK

The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie -- deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic. Belief in myths allows the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.
- John F. Kennedy

Dear Friends of the Family,

Women come in all shapes and sizes, all different backgrounds, and have all different needs. Understanding the importance of our role in society is what binds us together. We give balance to the family, the community, the nation and the world. We flourish in the home, institutions of learning, careers, and with our own personal fulfillment. These are characteristics that for generations have been cherished and respected. Today more than ever the uniqueness of women is under attack. Unfortunately, the radical feminists want us to lose our individuality and take us out of the childrearing business. The tools used to achieve this include the ratification of the United Nations Convention on the Elimination of all forms of Discrimination Against Women treaty (CEDAW). This treaty threatens not only our laws, policies, and culture, but our nation's sovereignty.

I ask that you act today to offset the tremendous pressure that our adversaries are putting on Congress. With the change to a Democrat majority in Congress, it is easier for our opponents to push through their agendas. And, they are at it again. The ratification of CEDAW will impose oversight and intrusive policies from an appointed United Nations committee with a radical agenda. Our voices must be heard now.

Call to Action

Sign on to our petition opposing the ratification of the CEDAW treaty. UFI will deliver the signed petitions to the members of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee before a vote occurs. Your voice will be heard through this petition.


Brief Background & Reference Guide


CEDAW is the International Version of Equal Rights for Women
The Convention on the Elimination of all forms of Discrimination Against Women (or CEDAW as it is better known) has a history worth noting. In the 1970s and 80s the federal equal right’s amendment was sent by the U.S. Senate to all 50 states for ratification. It fell three states short of passage. Since that time, the radical feminist movement infiltrated the United Nations working groups on CEDAW.

Radical Feminists are Behind CEDAW
According to the National Organization for Women (NOW), a campaign is underway to have local, state, and federal governments adopt resolutions in support of its ratification. More than a dozen states have passed resolutions in support of CEDAW, along with nearly two dozen counties and almost 50 cities. NOW called for ratification of the convention in its action agenda for the 110th U.S. Congress.

CEDAW is a Treaty and Treaties are Law
The Constitution of the United States clearly states the importance of treaties. In Article VI, Section 2, of the U.S. Constitution, treaties are "supreme Law of the Land." The founding fathers firmly believed that treaties should be upheld as constitutional.

With CEDAW comes International Oversight
Countries that ratify CEDAW are required to report to the oversight committee immediately and then every four years on how they are implementing the treaty and the demands of the committee. Currently, China and Cuba are members of the CEDAW committee. Only countries that have ratified CEDAW may apply to be members of the committee. These members are given power and authority over treaty countries with no appeal process. Following are some examples of the UN CEDAW demands:

Governments have been directed to legalize prostitution in direct conflict with language in CEDAW that opposed prostitution.
37 pro-life governments have been instructed to change their laws on abortion even though abortion is not part of CEDAW.
Poland was just questioned on its stance on abortion because of its pro-life government.
Ireland was criticized for allowing the Catholic Church too strong a voice on public policy.
Libya was directed to reinterpret the Koran to fall within committee guidelines.
Out of Control Courts
Justice Kennedy referenced international law when he delivered the court's ruling in Lawrence v. Texas (2004) which ruled on homosexual marriage. International law or treaties are starting to creep into state and federal case law. We believe the United States is a sovereign nation and should stay that way.
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Dear Friends and Upholders of Family Values

I read that email on how CEDAW is going to destroy america, family, women's place in the home and so on... but I'm failing to see what evil plan CEDAW has up their sleeves, especially since the email is EXTREMELY vague. So some feminists are trying to push a pro-abortion stance in the international community. How is this different from what feminist groups in the U.S. are doing?

How, exactly, is America's constitution in danger? Isn't the U.S., as a melting pot of cultures and people as the email expresses, supposed to be about an equal stance for all? Besides, when was the last time the United States listened to the United Nations anyway? We're a major player amongst the world's nations and one who pretty much ignores what everyone else has to say. Iraq anyone? WMD's anyone? We have a history of not listening to the UN unless it suits our agenda, and since the U.S. is slow on the uptake in equalizing the rights of people who aren't straight white males, I'm not sure you have anything to worry about.

Please explain to me how these crazy liberal lefties are taking away the "childrearing business" from women today? What is this, "Sarah, Plain and Tall?" Newsflash: women already have the choice as to whether or not they will remain in the home to raise children. Many, in fact, choose careers instead these days. Its not that unusual, nor is it the fault of some random group like CEDAW. If anything, this email is promoting an inequality based on gender in its assertion that women's place is in the home and it should be celebrated; those who choose different clearly are immoral agents some dark international force. I, for one, cannot understand how this purports to be in favor of women, "who come in all shapes and sizes, all different backgrounds, and have all different needs" by keeping them subjugated under a unilateral standard. That makes so little sense as to be ludicrous.

Furthermore, have any of you bothered to read what the convention has to say, at all? It's easy enough to pass around emails that spout some skewed drivel that demands the american people's attention. But the american people ought to be an informed people too. Try reading what they have to say, what the purpose of this convention is, and then make a decision about these things. (Granted, the convention has been infiltrated by radical feminists, in fact I believe that's on the resume of several of the committee's members...)

http://www.un.org/womenwatch/daw/cedaw/37sess.htm#pro

Take a quick second to discover that the United States is "not a party to CEDAW convention." No, we don't participate as of yet, and thus we aren't discussed. Countries involved (countries who radified the convention) are reviewed every four years and given provisions to make strides towards equality for women. This does not replace or revoke the sovereignty or the constitution of the United States. is no different than anything else the UN does, in terms of sanctions or convention rulings for countries. This history of the ratification of CEDAW was proposed by Jimmy Carter, but shot down and wasn't supported by Reagan or Bush administrations. The Clinton Administration tried to ratify it again, but with proposed conditions, one of which stated that: the U.S. "would have a 'non-self-executing' provision, which proposed that no new laws would be created as a result of Convention ratification; and a 'dispute settlement' provision, which stated that the United States was not bound by Convention Article 29(1) which refers unresolved disputes to the International Court of Justice."
Essentially, U.S. laws would not be changed by joining the convention, and there would be no way for the convention to take actions against it if it didn't implement any of the provisions suggested. The current adminstration supports the goal of CEDAW but has some concerns similar to those of the previous.

Frankly I'm just not impressed. Perhaps my favorite part is that the United Families International ("securing the Family since 1978 - whatever did we do before that?) begins their message with a quote from John F. Kennedy, a democrat. It then goes on to say that with democrats holding the house and senate, we're could be in some serious trouble. The greatest irony is what the quote says. Essentially this is just somebody getting worked up over statement or two that they decide to make a crusade out of it. It's fairly unrealistic. Oh, and tossing in a case about homosexual marriage? Controversial it may be, but relatively unrelated.

In the future I suggest you all do what this great country has allowed us to do: think and make decisions for ourselves. Too many people in this country are lazy when it comes to political standings. We let others tell us what to think, incorporate unrelated information cloud our judgement (is this god's chosen canidate? really?) or allow ourselves to buy into opinions without understanding the issues. Read, research and decide for yourselves. This is all I ask.

Sincerely,
Peter

Manque Mannequins: Art. Life. Whatever.

I haven't blogged in a while, and I think there comes a time in every man's life when he needs to sit down, on February 13th, 2007 and write a blog. Today is that day for me.

But its gonna be a short one since I'm tired.

Ingenious.

Creative catalyst.

Stimulating in oh-so-many ways.

Yes, these are all terms I've heard... well technically not heard, but imagine I could've heard referring to male mannequins. You see, I was writing a post for a friend, and felt, as many do, constrained to leave a creepy picture of a mannequin. And believe me folks, there are plenty out there.



But as I was searching, I started to realize something. A mannequin is used (usually) as a human shaped clothing rack, to desplay the latest fashions, in sizes that are unreachable to most real humans.

I should know, I used to work at Banana Republic. We used to just have body foms, but those days passed and the Gap Inc. decided to boldly embrace new, exciting advances in mannequinn technology and began shipping us the new display dolls.
I remember the day well.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I think it's part of a leg. That's the knee, see?" my general manager assured me. As the visuals manager, I had know these were coming and it would be within my duties to assemble them. Mistakenly, I had assumed they'd be shipped with their pieces in one box. It is an occupational hazard to ever make assumptions about logical proceedings from corporate.

"Why is the knee skewed to the side?" My curiousity couldn't be restrained.

The pasty white thing she held in her hands was strangely curved on both sides and if it was a knee cap, this person needed serious medical attention. Overlooking the fact that it was chopped into multiple pieces over course. Trying to visualize what the mannequin would look like assembled, this leg would indicate he was crouching, ready to spring.

The GM looked at it, shifting it around. "I don't know. It'll be hard to dress in that position." She stared, then cupped her hand around it's knee. "It's such an odd shape."

Just then another member of management, the delightfully gay Rob, walked through the doorway. "Hey, Christina, where is the rec..." trailing off, he saw the two of us gawking awkwardly at the fiberglass piece. "Lonely?" he asked.

"What?" the two of us asked simultaneously.

"Well," he continued, "I just assumed I since you're in the back room fondling a mannequin's package."

Ah. Of course. That strange shape which in no way resembled a man's crotch was in fact his junk. If you turned it the right way... Yes, that was definitely an ass, now that you look at it. Well, sort of an ass.

That night we set up all the mannequins, and discovered that with their semi-poseable arms, amazingly dirty scenes could be reinacted with these gents. Oddly enough the anatomically incorrect bulges stuck out further than anything else on their frontal side. An ego trip, I suppose. The female forms appeal to women by being sizes that twiggy would find evnvious, while the male ones sport supposed cock and balls easily seen through any of the layers of clothing put on it. Clever.



So as I searched today through the multitude of pictures of these dolls, I noticed how disturbing their semi-life-likeness was. They aren't human, and in many cases are strangely stylized to not even appear human. And yet, as certain horror genres have explored, if you found one chilling in a dark alley, there's a strange unease about it.



And then there's the artistic aspect. Since art imitates life, or whatever it does, why not bring mannequins into the fold? What are they except imitations of life? One can find an abundance of pictures, paintings, films, etc. where the mannequin is used as an expression. In one gallery, it's not enough to have the mannequin, he must be modified to be as close to human as possible. I.e. have a lil' somin' below the belt.



So what is our fascination with mannequins? If you're in business, you use them to sell. If not, then they're just strangely disturbing representations of things we can't achieve, a cruel and mocking image of what we wish we might be, and certainly a reflection of the imitations of life.

Perhaps what is so frightening about them to me is that there are real people out there who are just as empty, plastic and pretty. Mannequins built to look like people, and people who strive to look like mannequins. Who is really imitating whom? Those built to imitate, or those imitating them?

How circular.

If you're interested in purchasing mannequins, for artistic purposes or otherwise, visit:
Mannequin Maddness
Particularly check out Dennis the Menace, and the "Hip Hop Mannequins" under their male mannequins section.

Robbie meets Freud.

Perhaps one of the most interesting things I've read in many a moon. Fascinating stuff. Who said video games have no merit? Oh that's right, Roger Ebert.

Saving Ourselves

Would a rose smell as sweet?

A quick new blog for you, of note. That is to say that the blog is of note, not that you are of note. Because you're not. Not really. But we'll avoid that path of analytical self-importance in the cosmic scheme of things for right now because we've something much, Much, MUCH more important:

Urinals.

Yes, urinals. Men face these beauties on an almost daily basis as we run between our jobs, school, lives and activities. Women might be less familiar, but the fact remains, they know what one is. And what it is for.

Since the dawn of recorded time, people have had to relieve themselves. Men possessed a relative advantage over women in this regard, a trait we like to call "able to whip it on out," or the acronym ATWIOO. This is of course why men have been able to subjugate women and came to the realization that they are superior to the fairer sex, since they can stand while taking a pisser.

Note: Before you feminists attack me, please note the tone of that statement. And also please realize that this idea is of course false. Women have been able to control men for long before men have been capable of realizing it. So who's really in control here? This is the simply the result of the dominating male perspective that makes the concept of manipulation and social intrigue less important than not sitting or squatting to pee.

Anyway, back on subject. So the urinal was invented. It allows men to go quickly, conviently, and with the added bonus of sizing up the other males around you since in many places there are no partitions. This is particularly true in stadiums or sports arenas, where the concept of trough urinals have come into existence.

France once had public urinals located on the sidewalks or in parks. Alas, most of these Temples of Piss have been removed, and only one exists now, in Paris, known as a "vespasienne."



Now all this is very interesting, but why do I bring it up? Because of companies like Toto. Toto is a toilet company that specializes in luxury toilets. Sure there's nothing terribly exciting about that - their site indicates a sense of modern art come to live in the bathroom.

And what is life, if not art?

Clark Sorenson has brought that idea, of the world and your life as a canvas being painted upon, to your private moments in the bathroom. As any great artist could tell you, you can't make beauty without shit. Apparently that goes for piss too.

Stop and smell the roses.



Sorenson has created a product that... well for the life of me I can't see men buying. Not even most homosexual men. Sure I love art. Sure, we all have to go. Sure the bathroom and the act of using is the great equalizer. No one's shit smells like roses, but the ability to pee in one isn't really all that appealing either.

To be honest, most men get into the restroom, use it, and get out. It isn't a casual social gathering place as it might be for women. In fact the prime people who might purchase these will be women. I don't know if they think that men will love the flowery touch (although I doubt that deeply) or if it's all part of an attempt to de-masculinize society, or what...

Still, here is an interesting case of a product being produced that will sell to a market of buyers who aren't the intended user of the product.

It's an intersting concept. But not all that unusual now that I think about it. It's what parents do to their children all the time with toys. Or cars. Or education. And the children don't appreciate it either. So maybe I'm being too harsh. Art is art, after all. And I'm entitled to art always. Even when I'm unloading all my liquid wastes.

So why not? Sign me up for a lilly, maybe an orchid and of course a snap-dragon or two.

Check out his website: Clark Sorenson Urinals

Oh Canada...

Canada, for all the grief you get, how can we not envy some of your finer points, eh? My brother's serving a mission in Canada right now. He loves it. There are also lots of trees, beer, and a unique french twist on North American society. But even more than those, there's this.






Not a great video, but a boy can dream, can't he?

Happiness is...n't?

Candidicy. Candidcy. Canidicy. Candidly. Smile, you're on candid camera.

I sit, here, in my chair which leans back way too far, (and doesn't stop, mind you) in the library and type. Yes, now I've painted you a portrait of the moment I'm in which you will forever appreciate. If, for some CRAZY reason, that doesn't do it for you, allow me to tell you this: I sit next to a porn-crazed young man, who seems neither to care nor worry that he's looking at explicit photos in a very public place. And on the other side is a delightful young woman, planning her wedding. At least, she's studying online wedding dresses with great intent. Aside from studying their respective subjects quite... obsessively, what is the interest in these two young students?

I commend them both. On a thursday at 10:52 am, in between my theater class and my political science class, I am treated to two equally different perspectives on the world. The female mind, which from a young age fantasizes about the wedding, the beauty, the pageantry, and the chance to feel like a princess for once (or twice, if you've been featured on "My Sweet Sixteen" on MTV) in their lives.


Men, on the other hand (unless you're a homosexual, in which case you've been planning your wedding for years, until you realize you're not sure who'll wear the dress) are interested in sex. From a young age where they realize they have reproductive organs, it becomes the selfish desire to fufill the hormonal instinct to make them feel good. Marriage is a step to a rather constant booty-call.

No doubt I deserve some lambasting for that comment, but I don't think women understand the level of men's sexual drive. Truth be told it's a somewhat sad generalization, but perhaps a true one nevertheless. Especially here in Mormon Country. Many men in the Real World (again, no reference, or maybe some reference to the MTV hit) avoid marriage for years because it ties down their options. Why do you think there is a rash of commitment phobia? Whereas to mormons, it's the opening of the gates to a sexual revolution. Don't believe me? Go on a mission.


Yes, I said go on a mission. Now despite the intriguing stats about men hooking up with each other on their mission, I will focus instead on the discussions which take place regarding women. Missionaries are dirty. (Apologies are handed out like tissue to anyone who may be saddened over this news.)


It's a simple fact because we always want what we can't have, and mormons can't have sex. But missionaries can't even have female company. Naturally their thoughts, their conversations, and their secret masturbatory sessions in the shower turn to the fairer sex. Construed, alas, in a much dirtier way.


How many conversations about "past sins" or slipups with girlfriends are reveled in? How many fantasies about a quick blowjob on the way from the temple to the cultural hall reception are spun? How many lists of "hot places to do it" are dreamt up to bide time until the real deal? Personally I lucked out. I had two many other issues I was working through to be so caught up in the sex fantasy. But don't think I didn't hear it from virtually every other missionary I knew.

Missionaries return from the mission anxious, pent-up, and ready for marriage. Strike that, ready for sex. And since that's a no-no with out the bells, marriage = sex. I hardly think that men who've spent the last two years running around a foreign country, or even our own, with only the company of other men, focused solely on teaching people "what god has to say to you, gentiles" is really ready for a relationship spanning... eternity?

One would think that a great deal of thought would be placed upon the selection of someone you believe you'll NEVER get away from.

Instead, hormones take a bit more precedence in men's reasoning than they should, and women who are ready to finally do something with their lives (which in the church equates to matronly duty) form a dynamic companionship who's spark will eventually explode. To their credit, this is usually built up and kept in check for years longer than the initial courting rituals that lead to it (avg. 2 months?). This is thankfully accomplished to a long set of church imposed rules, hyper-activity with religious callings and duties, accidental children, peer and church sanctioned guilt, and a dash of prozac.


The explosion will come, quietly or otherwise, on the wings of actuality and in that clever messenger realization. Everyone pictures how things are going to be. Sometimes we're close, but never dead on. And the harder we cling to these pictures, the more unprepared we are for the reality of it. When she realizes he's not prince charming, he's just some man who happened to say the right things to her and be there when she needed, she'll be devestated. When he discovers that a marriage isn't constant sex, that there's a personality to be reckoned with, and a lot of independence forfeited, he'll panic. Neither of these realizations make these people bad. Just rushed. Rushing so quickly to get to something they thought they wanted they won't realize they're not paying attention to what they're really recieving. And that's a hard thing to take.

Maybe it can be worked out and you can grow to love the one you're now tied to. Or maybe not. The worst part is that some of these marriages won't end. Neither will acknowledge how unhappy they truly are and find scapegoats and diversions to take up the time they ought to be using for self-analysis.

But that's painful and pain should be avoided at all costs.

This is a broad, sweeping stereotype, and I know many a happy couple who don't seem to have this problem. And yet, there are those, too many it seems, who fall within it. The church is not exactly my point of attack here, because people, as the LDSers will teach us, have free agency. A truth, and a convient truth for the church structure, because you're always the vicitim of yourself. I can't agree with that more. We all have our hang-ups, but make them your own hang-ups, and don't accept programming or instilled hang ups.

Men and women. Two very different creatures who, in a straight, gay, or otherwise world, are just looking for happiness. All we do is motivated by what will make us happy. To the man left of me, it's large breasted women taking it hardcore. To the girl right, it's a knight on a white horse with a diamond ring. To me, it's writing nasty blogs about a culture I can't escape.

To each his own.

Beware a darkened sky...

Somedays, I sit down and think, "gods, where did all the time go?" Usually it is in that critical moment when I am three minutes late for work, cursing whatever primeval ancestor dreamt up the notion of a "day job" and have to run out the door to my indentured servitude.

My indentured servitude of materialism.

Oh if only I didn't want so many things. But I do. Like a Bat Avatar. Haven't you always just wanted one? Oh-so-cute, and unlike other technological pets (giga-pets, etc) they don't need to play jumprope, won't piss themselves and WON'T die on you! Here's the one I'm interested in:



His name is Fug-Bert.

The glass is full, of half and half.

School schmool.

Who said going to school was a good idea? What do we really gain in measurable benifits from attending "institutions of higher learning." Higher learning than what? Elementary school? Some of the people I know are still in elementary school, despite attending college.

Or high school. Which incidentally is where most kids grades 9-12 start using drugs. Sorta shocking right? I didn't expect that either. I don't think that's a coincidence (or that it's called "high school," government conspiracy? I think so).

And yet, here I am, "learning." Or gaining important skills like how to BS a report on a book I didn't read. Truthfully though, I shouldn't be down of the process, since those are life lessons. How to cover, or blame others when things at work fall through, are unfinished, or were bad ideas. Getting in good with your boss, or teachers, and having dirt ready on other students should the presume to get in your way of what you "deserve. Yes, these are all very important and where would we be without years and years of our lives devoted to a building and random "learned" adults who have four months to become an important, trusted, respected, and integrel part of our lives so they may instill us with the knowledge and ideas to help shape a brighter future. Or at least one with a 60 watt bulb.

We should re-instate secretive family trades. Like swordmaking, in Japan, or wine pressing in Europe, or tribal annihilation in Africa. That way, you only learn what you need to learn, none of this "well-rounded" b.s. or writing term papers about the purpose of the placenta for biology. Course a lot of people probably wouldn't end up literate, but it'd be a simpler time, when libraries weren't so damn crowded.

We could have trade schools, with apprentices. You could learn things like farming, metallurgy, myspace-ing, game design, or wild giraffee training. Yes, it truly would be a utopian society. Inner cities already work on this principle, with trouble teens being taken underwing by gangs who teach them the art of killing others who wear the wrong color, or if they manage to escape that fate, enjoy the benifits of learning from their parents on how to wring money out of the government and get cable, without actually going to a school, a "job" or any of those silly inconviences. Seriously, what happened to the days when people did what they felt like (or what their family and social status indicated they should feel like)?

Truthfully, its simply that Christmas break is over, I'm on my feet, running around again, and happy to be learning. Just not happy about commuter drives, homework, and tests. Alright, I'm over it. 2007, let's do this shit.